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A quote I have held on to throughout my life, attributed to Buddha Siddhartha Guatama Shakyamuni, the founder of Buddhism states, “Do not seek sanctuary in anyone except yourself.” Many people have taken his words and applied them in slightly different ways, and with much contemplation, much time on my own, as well as a handful of romantic relationships and many different platonic relationships both in my personal and professional life, I have found the lesson to reside in understanding what sanctuary means.
When we find a place of refuge and protection within ourself, meaning we have found peace within, after having chosen to remain a student of ourselves, we have found a state of contentment through mindfulness that can carry us through the ups AND downs of life well. We cannot be responsible for anyone else’s mindfulness or contentment, only our own. And it is in my understanding of sanctuary that I appreciate his words of reminder – to be self-reliant, yet not entirely alone in the world. After all, it is knowing how to engage well – respectfully, civilly (meaning knowing how to communicate effectively) – that we elevate not only our everyday lives and those we directly connect with, but the larger world.
Living simply luxuriously does not require a particular relationship status, just as it doesn’t require a particular place on the globe to call home, a particular income or age. Over the course of TSLL’s 11+ years I have been single and involved in relationships, although primarily single, and it has been single by my choice. That is to say, I value a life of quality, respect, kindness and trust coupled with sincere love for the other, not finding someone to be a puzzle piece to appease society. Whenever a relationship has ended, any one or more of the values listed has diminished or evaporated, which let me know it was time for us to go our separate ways. However, life and relationships and yes, love, is dynamic, but all quality relationships begin with knowing our self-worth, understanding how to live well without reliance on another, and finding contentment in our own journey wherever it might lead.
What confuses our sense of true self is not giving ourselves time to fully and truly get to know who we are, what are strengths are and what skills we need to hone. Before I go any further, I will let the nine episodes bundled for podcast bundle #3 explain all of this and more far more clearly and in much more detail.
I do hope you enjoy, and be sure to explore TSLL’s blog posts (click here) on the subject of reveling in the life of living single.
Being Single is Luxurious Living, episode #170
How to Live Alone Well, episode #33
The Power of Solitude, episode #91
Traveling Alone Well, episode #220
Why Not . . . Be Brave?, episode #83
Why Not . . . Find Your Personal Power?, episode #95
The Truths & Myths of the Independent, Single Woman, episode #94
Stop by next Monday for the fourth and final Podcast Bundle of 2021, and explore Podcast Bundle #2 here.
AND . . .