“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken away from you.” —Oscar Wilde
Self-worth. What is it exactly? And how does one find it?
Contrary to what many believe, self-worth is different from self-esteem. Self-worth is something all of us possess on the day we are born where as self-esteem is something develops as we grow. But due to circumstances – some beyond our control and some within – we lose sight of it and forget our own unique value.
When Sarah Ferguson, on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show recently, asked the question, “How to I get self-worth?” I began to search for a clear answer, and the aha realization initially is that we all have self-worth; it is a matter of finding it within ourselves. Once we accept and acknowledge, and know, that we are worthy, the amazing journey of finding our purpose, of discovering our passions and living our most fulfilling life can really begin.
So today, I’d like to share with you 10 ways each one of us can re-discover our self-worth:
1. Love and value yourself – your dreams, your boundaries, your needs, first. This is not selfish. It is self-preservation. It is being responsible for yourself. Read this fantastic article on Lessons for Living for a more specific explanation as to why it is not being selfish.
2. Be positive. Your attitude is a powerful determiner about how you view yourself, your possibilities and current situation. Be the energy needed to propel yourself forward.
3. Cut out the negativity. If you have people in your life who never lift you up, are always reminding you of your faults, thus deflating your self-worth, pull the plug on those relationships.
4. Spend time with people who love you for who you are, support you and aren’t jealous of your aspirations and/or success. In other words, be around people who have their own lives and dreams to chase and desire to create a more fulfilling life for themselves as well.
5. Identify your strengths – build upon them. As writers are constantly reminded, write about what you know. Focus on what you do well and develop those muscles, build upon what is working for you already.
6. Set goals for yourself and devise a plan on how to achieve them. Then follow through.
7. Reward yourself for reaching your goals, for the accomplishments that you have made. And don’t feel guilty about it.
8. Don’t compromise your integrity or your values.
9. What you are feeling is valid. Trust what you feel. Even if no one else understands why you are either uncomfortable, hopeful, happy or cautious, if you feel this way, respect it and try to understand why you feel this way. Don’t allow others’ discredit of how you feel make you believe that what you are feeling isn’t important. You are feeling this way for a reason. Take the time to figure it out.
10. Take responsibility for your life. Your success rides solely on your shoulders; be thankful for this opportunity and refuse to see it as a burden. The success is possible, the contentment is attainable, as long as you grasp the reins of responsibility and are determined to lean forward and do the work, standing up for yourself along the way.
By definition, self-worth is one’s worth as a person, as perceived by oneself. Some of us are fortunate to grow up in a family that while instilling a strong work ethic, also validated everyone’s feelings, value and potential. And sadly, some people did not have this type of childhood. The good news is, we all can have the self-worth we seek because it is already within us. It resides in first, taking our lives back, making sound decisions in who we surround ourselves with, and then by standing strong in what we know, and always choosing to learn and grow.
14 thoughts on “10 Ways to Strengthen Self-Worth”
Just love this, really needed it today!! Thank you 🙂 Have a beautiful week xx
This is the perfect follow-up to the words you shared in Why Not…be a successful woman (I think!) on determining your values before you write up your dreams list. I spent the weekend thinking hard about what my values are–and some of them surprised me! I realized pretty quickly that some of my dreams don’t really line up with some deep-seated values…so those got crossed off my list and now, my revised list can get my full attention! Thanks so much, Shannon. I really do enjoy and profit by your exceptional blog! Warmly, Kay
Whoops, it was the “Why not…achieve your dreams?” part deux! Kay xo
Thank you very much for this post. I too was watching Oprah and her interview with Sarah Ferguson. I was frustrated because when they were showing the preview with Suze Orman and Sarah Ferguson asked, “how do I get self-worth?”, they cut it off. I have struggled with self worth and self esteem my entire life and I really wanted to hear Suze Orman’s answer. This post is helpful, Thank you!! Valorie
What a beautiful posting. Self-love is the most important thing. I am trying to work on that myself.
Some great points! I think it’s important to work towards the things you want and cultivate your own strengths. Focusing inward rather than constantly comparing yourself to others is also huge.
I found the Oprah/Fergie interview disturbing – I felt there was no clearer indication of utter personal and moral bankruptcy than watching Fergie abandon all reticence so that Oprah would validate her. So sad.
A much needed post for so many, Shannon. I was watching that Oprah show and that one question seemed so sad, as if we were looking into a well and could see all the way to the bottom … Sarah seemed empty at the time of that comment. Hope all is going fabulously for you in your life and are finding time to enjoy spring 😉
Perfection. I have been on a journey this past several months to find happiness, to believe things will get better and that in the areas in which I need outside help it will come. Self worth was a very though one that I am still struggling with. I truly relate to Fergie when she stated that. I am interested to see her journey to see where it takes her and to see where my own goes.
Thank you for a fabulous and important article. I am going to take notes to remind myself of your inspiring thoughts!
I sincerely appreciate the simplicity, integrity, humility, wisdom and charity of your posts. Kind regards, Caroline
i have put on weight and i hate it due to the fact that i base my self worth on my outside and not my inside. I feel i am less than when i am bigger in the body .
i am not my body and i am good enough whatever weight i am.