“The rest of us are all still in it, [life/living]. We laugh, we hurt, we fall, we get back up. We’re a mess. And that is fantastic. Because being messy just means being alive. And we could all do with being a bit more alive. So what are we waiting for?” —Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham’s charater in Ted Lasso), episode 10, season 4

I tried tea for the first time in my early twenties, and I am ever so glad that I did.

I had no idea what to expect. I had sipped coffee before, and it didn’t quite suit my taste, but there was something about tea. I wanted to try it. Part of what made a difference in the trying was the environment and the quality of tea being served for my first experience. From that moment at the Empress Hotel in Victoria, Canada, the ritual of the service- steeping loose tea leaves, savoring with savory and sweet nibbles- I was a tea lover for life.

We can never know how something will taste or work out or unfold when we choose to try. To step forward, to make ourselves vulnerable, to invest, it all involves engaging with variables outside our control. As the character Rebecca Welton (played by Waddingham) shares in the quote above, what she is contemplating is getting married again, something that demonstrates how when we try something, there is no guarantee, but there are knowns that can tilt the odds in our favor. As the character said in a following scene, she loved being married, but she had previously been married to the wrong person. This is what, when we understand, makes a powerful difference: doing our homework ahead of time, which involves tending to what we can know, what we can control, and then choosing wisely the environment in which we try. In Rebecca’s case, who she is choosing to marry, and in the case of trying tea for the first time, choosing a place of expertise in tea.

Trying doesn’t come with a promise, but it does come with a guarantee. The guarantee is that you will discover something about yourself that you hadn’t previously known regarding what you are capable of, as well as an expansion of your perspective about the world.

The try must be genuine, with our whole heart as opposed to a timid tiptoe. No, we don’t have to dive headfirst into whatever it is we are going to try, but whatever we choose to try, give all that we have to give at that time. If attending a class to learn something new: show up, pay attention, do the homework, keep showing up, ask questions, remind yourself that being uncomfortable with not knowing is part of the learning process – something talked about in depth in my new book Savoring the Sojourn, specifically in the Autumn and Winter chapters. After all, if you already knew what was being taught, you wouldn’t need to be taking the class.

It helps to have encouragement from those around you, those who care about you and know this is something that you are curious to explore. Often, when we ponder trying something new, and if it involves doing so with others watching or they will see our attempt, we fear judgment, laughter, or teasing as a result. This is when our support from those who wish us well helps us to ignore those fears. Those who love us will appreciate the courage being exhibited. We can also provide this support to those we love when they are trying something new to them.

But what if we don’t have a cheering section that wishes us well, or think we don’t (if you look around yourself, I have a feeling you have more people, even just one, who sincerely want only for you to do what makes you come alive in a most wonderful of way, that is of no direct benefit to them. They are there. Look for them)? But again, what if you are alone: Know that your curiosity is wise, and you wouldn’t have this determined pull or nudge refusing to leave your curious heart if it wasn’t something that had a gift to reveal to your journey of discovery. So begin in a safe place. For me, as I learn to play chess, I am learning by watching YouTube videos from experts of the game. Then I began playing anonymously online with a free account. It allows me to try, with all my genuine minimal knowledge, and start to feel my way to a better understanding and seeing of the game.

And in some ways, perhaps most instances, when we do try something without having any support (or not having yet shared with anyone just yet that we are trying), it is the best litmus test to know for sure if we are trying something that comes from our true self’s curiosity and not influences from others, to know that it is a choice that arises from exercising self-fidelity, as explored in episode #435 of the podcast last week.

When each of the artists and musicians and persons attributed with producing a masterpiece that is included in Savoring the Sojourn began the work eventually given such a label (most after their passing), they didn’t begin by saying, “I’m going to create a masterpiece.” No, and neither do we. In fact, the term masterpiece is given by those who observe the work, the skill, the growth, the outcome, and find it to be positively influential to them or their experience in a way that nothing before has ever quite done. We don’t give our work any label, we just try, explore and then decide if it’s our desire or our curiosity that is guiding us. If it is, keep trying. Go at your own pace, and eventually, you will have acquired the skill that eventually becomes a new beneficial default or will complete the project and will then let it go.

The letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring about what you have created, but it means, your work on it is complete, and you set both it and yourself free.

Choose to live your life, engage with it, and that means choosing to try what is tickling your curiosity to give it a go.

Back to my venture into learning chess. As many long-time TSLL readers may recall, I have been wanting to learn and thus try to play chess for years. Finally, I got out of my own way, stopped thinking I had to make it more complicated (attend in person meet-ups or take classes), and chose the simple thing of watching a YouTube video as shared above. Trying need only begin by doing something similarly simple in your endeavor, and if it is a genuine curiosity, you will have lit a spark that will feed itself and become very difficult to put out. That is a very good thing, and a sign that you are on a journey that has been waiting for you to step upon. It will be ever so glad you chose to begin. Now, just keep trying. That is all.

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