Explaining her choice to resist cosmetic surgery, “[I want] full control of my face, [and] to look like I’m 52, because I’m actually more confident, more settled . . . So why would I want to make myself look like I’m 30, when I wasn’t as happy at 30?” —Hannah Waddingham, interview in NYTimes (August 2026)

What do you know for sure?

The only thing we can know with 100% clarity is ourselves, but it requires each of us to choose to do so.

Only we know why we did or didn’t do what unfolded in our past, no matter what we chose to say as an explanation to others when asked. Only we know what truly stirs our soul. Only we know how hard we tried, or how comfortable we feel in another person’s company. We also know what we don’t know, which is a lot when we really start to acknowledge the vastness of the world, and even then, we can’t know what we don’t know. So there’s that, but that’s self-knowledge too, I would argue.

In my second book, Living The Simply Luxurious Life, there are two chapters (7 & 8) that explore the many ‘tools’ to put in our personal metaphorical toolbox of living well. One is skills and the other is our strengths. Our strengths have to be unearthed, but they are always there, innate to our being. We just have to choose to give them a chance and then not ignore what we discover.

The discovery and then nurturing of our strengths takes time. Hannah Waddingham’s four-octave vocal talent, being the daughter of an opera singer, most definitely is a strength she innately possesses, but she had to choose to nurture it. She had to choose to step into it and then let it blossom into its full potential.

Alongside our unearthing and realizing of our many strengths’ full potential, we also have to figure out how to navigate life – living as a responsible adult, navigating relationships of all kinds, caring for our health, you know, those everyday life things that contribute significantly to whether or not living is a joy or drudgery.

It’s a lot when you think about it – we want to survive, but we have the capability of thriving if we do the prerequisite work. Those prerequisites involve the fundamentals: bosses to please, bills to pay, personal hygiene and wardrobe to tend to for our profession and well-being, and then there is our social network of friends, family, romantic partners, children, colleagues, etc. The other prerequisite if we choose to take on the challenge, and some will choose not to, is to get to know ourselves.

The journey of getting to know ourselves requires a lot of tenacity upfront because along the way, we will stumble, make sincere mistakes, but if we are wise, we learn from these tumbles as well as learn through observation, educating ourselves, gaining the skills we need. And with all of this decision-making, life then, in its own time, along a timeline we cannot predict, begins to find a soothing rhythm. Soothing to us each uniquely, that is, and that too is what we’re figuring out along the way – What is our rhythm? What brings us to life? Where is my boundary?

Waddingham’s above comment in this past weekend’s newspaper shares directly something that may often go unsaid about what we forget to take notice of when we look in the mirror and we begin to see the young woman begin to show up as a woman who has lived her life for a few more years: A deep appreciation and awareness of how we’ve evolved. And if we have been living consciously, our evolution wasn’t a coincidence, nor did it happen by accident. In fact, it wouldn’t have happened at all unless we had lived consciously. But we did. You did. You chose to get to know yourself. You chose to be brave.

Once we begin to see past our physical appearance, we begin to make connections with others who see beyond our appearance as well. It’s not that we don’t take care of our outer appearance, but it isn’t the #1 priority. It doesn’t supersede enriching our skill set and education or get in the way of strengthening or building our dreams in both our personal and professional lives. Waddingham isn’t saying she doesn’t care how she looks. She absolutely does! Waddingham herself has a skincare regimen to keep her visage looking its best, for no doubt professional purposes, but also for her well-being. In 2021, she shared her skincare routine, and three years ago, she shared that she uses this laser treatment at home. It just doesn’t involve cosmetic surgery.

When we put our skincare and outer appearance in their supporting-role place in our life regarding our priorities, we can get about the business of knowing ourselves and then dedicating ourselves to honing our strengths, which determines the skills we need to learn that are lacking in order to realize what we are capable of that brings us to life and contributes to the world. But if instead we only focus on our outer appearance, it is to our peace of mind, confidence, and contentment’s detriment.

Waddingham went on to share that “[S]ince Ted Lasso premiered in 2020, playing Rebecca ‘has let everyone know what I knew I was capable of in the first place.'” In this quote, she exemplifies the confidence she spoke about in the quote at the top of the post. That confidence she now has at 52 that she didn’t have at 30 came from dedicating herself to her craft and choosing to get to know herself and all that she was capable of. And while it didn’t happen overnight, her star-worthy talent on stage, in the theater and in front of the camera, it did happened because she chose to put in the effort, learn as she went along, be brave and keep persisting.

As I will share in episode #431 of the podcast later this week, serendipity occurred when Waddingham was cast for Ted Lasso. But what is often misunderstood about serendipity is that it requires action and the right action – a constructive mindset (open) – paired with determination to step into the unknown again and again and again without promise or guarantee, and a joy of living life that is full of gratitude and kindness to others, helping them to experience more serendipitous moments along their life journey. Waddingham embodies all of these qualities. The fame she has now was never guaranteed, as she admits in the interview, but the success she has reached in her career would never have happened had she not embraced the qualities of a serendipity mindset (more in-depth details of how to do that will be shared on Wednesday in episode #431). And it becomes far easier to enjoy living your life everyday if you first get to know yourself and start making decisions that will contribute to bringing you to life, all the while knowing there will be lessons along the way unwanted, but most definitely beneficial upon reflection.

So! If you too are close to 50, just as I am. Or whatever age you find yourself, when you look back at your youthful self of one, two, or many decades ago, remember that you possess something that that young woman would have loved to have had and didn’t yet know how to acquire. It was a choice that you consciously made that provided the opportunity for you to acquire confidence in yourself and how to cultivate a life that is nourishing. Now, you are putting this knowledge to constructive use to savor the life you are living. The life you have chosen to live. Extend gratitude for this life you have, so that when you look at yourself in the mirror, it is an expression of affection and appreciation for being brave, for hanging in there during those times when you doubted yourself, but something within you would not let you give in. Some part of you knew that your peace was worth it, and your younger self thanks you for being stronger than you may have realized you were in that moment.

Now, is it Wednesday yet? (The fourth season of Ted Lasso premieres on August 5th). In the meantime, if you’re a fan of Waddingham and Octavia Spencer, do yourself a favor and watch Ride or Die. Both women are producers. A series I wasn’t initially going to watch, but glad that I did. A lot of fun, and both women are phenomenal. (Psst, are you a Premier/(formerly TOP Tier) Member? I talk more about why I recommend this series in our August A Cuppa Moments, along with all sorts of other things I savored in July, am looking forward to in August and oodles of other regular topics.)

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