“Uncertainty will happen to us even when we try to avoid it. To reach our highest potential and live our noblest values, we need to be willing to step into uncertainty.” —Nathan Furr and Susannah Harmon Furr, authors of The Upside of Uncertainty

From knowing how the day will unfold to how our year will unfold, we cannot know until we live it. Uncertainty surrounds us, and to deny its existence by trying to live the same way each day, do what we’ve always done, we only limit the amazing possibilities that have the potential to be experienced and elevate the quality of our life.

In a book published back in 2022, husband and wife team, Nathan Furr and Susannah Harmon Furr, share with oodles of research paired with examples from current and past entrepreneurs, philosophers, activists, and ordinary people, including their own life experience which found them moving their entire family to France and settling into the French culture, how embracing uncertainty instead of shunning it, pretending it doesn’t exist is a primary approach to living a life you love.

The Upside of Uncertainty includes detailed, concrete approaches, tools and supports for our mindset, to help us stay the course during the time that uncertainty inevitably arrives along our journey when we’ve decided to do something we’ve never done before.

All that will be shared today is gleaned from the book, and is just a taste of what you will find when you pick it up. A resource I know I will return to repeatedly to be reminded of how to sustain my tenacity, how to incorporate supportive components as well as how to course correct or make the most of outcomes undesired along the way.

Let’s begin by taking a look at the importance of choosing to embrace uncertainty.

The impossible becomes possible

To embrace uncertainty is to step into uncharted territory, as the authors remind. It is beyond just taking a risk. It is choosing to step into a world that has never been explored.

Dreams become reality

The only way to change our life is do something we haven’t done. To live differently, to try something new and stick with it, learning as we go, not being deterred by perceived failures and applying the newly gained knowledge. If you reflect back on your life, on the moments you found yourself surprised yet delighted that the moment had happened, prior to its happening, uncertainty was present.

How to move beyond surviving and instead, thrive

As shared above, uncertainty isn’t going anywhere whether we embrace it or not. Similar to time passing, we can see the opportunity that is being provided, or dismiss it. The choice is ours. What will make the difference in being able to seize the opportunity that uncertainty presents is being prepared with a helpful mindset and tools and skills that will sustain us while we navigate the unknown.

“Numerous studies across academic fields suggest that people comfortable with uncertainty are more creative and are more successful as entrepreneurs and more effective as leaders.”

Increase ‘the possibility quotient’

Defined as ‘the likelihood to see and seize new opportunities’, when we acquire and apply the behaviors, mindset, and tools, what the authors describe as developing an ‘uncertainty ability’, we increase the odds that more opportunities that we would be delighted to see and experience will cross our path.

So then, how do we gain the ‘uncertainty ability?’ Detailed in the introduction of their book is a visual of a first-aid cross, aptly named the “Uncertainty first-aid cross”.

The left side is the “Prime” side, the right is the “Do” as they refer to things we must take action and actually do or apply in order to embrace uncertainty effectively. Prime sits on the left side as we prepare ourselves before choosing what exactly it is we will do.

At the top of the first-aid cross is the “Reframe” section and directly south of it at the bottom of the cross is the “Sustain” section. Both refer to our mindset which is the foundation of where we begin to trust that uncertainty is a gateway to step toward instead of avoid. We first make sure our mindset is constructive before we begin, and then once we’ve begun, we apply the mental tools for how to sustain ourselves during times of difficulty.

This logical approach gives us a concrete toolbox to carry with us any time we choose to step forward or consider stepping forward into something we do not have a clear roadmap for.

Let’s take a look at a couple of specific tools shared in each of the four points on the Uncertainty First-Aid Cross.

Reframe

The power of our mindset becomes the determining factor in what we choose to attempt or not attempt. When we choose to see uncertainty as an opportunity rather than as ‘inherently bad’ as our Lizard mind would have us believe, the direction changes, the doors that open change (and doors begin to open rather than appear locked). So we begin by reframing how we view uncertainty, as that is where it all begins.

• Make choices that minimize regrets
  • Described as Regret Minimization, imagine you have already arrived or accomplished or at least giving your best try to that idea that is dancing about in your mind, and then ask yourself, “How will I feel in the future having made with choice?” Then ask yourself the same question in response to not having made the decision to at least give it a try.
  • Often we focus too much on the risks and not enough on the regrets we will have if we don’t try. Risks, when they are risks worth taking, are “the ones that define who you are now or who you want to become.” So who are you, who do you want to become? Let these questions guide you forward as you embrace uncertainty.
• Doubt Self-Doubt
  • Described as Aplomb (Chapter 8), it is reassuring to know that “even innovators, entrepreneurs, and pathbreakers doubt themselves, and not just once but over and over.” Self-doubt is natural. It is what makes us human. They chose the term ‘Aplomb’ as it comes from the French meaning “a plumb line, denoting steadiness, confidence, poise. When something is done with aplomb there is self-assurance, even nonchalance.” In other words, the fact that you have self-doubt is a fairly reliable sign that your inner compass believes whatever you are considering is worthwhile.

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Prime

I can remember growing up, when I was changing irrigation pipes, and before we set the new line, we had to prime the pump to get the water pulled up into the new sprinkler head that would then let the water run down through that line and create the pressure for the sprinklers to do their work. Priming in that instance and in reference to what we are talking about today, embracing uncertainty, is in the same vein. We are preparing ourselves to embrace uncertainty and to do it well.

• But first, diversity
  • Success in what we choose to attempt doesn’t mean we have to go all in. We can wade, we can keep one foot on the side of the pool and dip our toes in to see how it feels. Described in Chapter 11 as Personal Real Options, it is an approach that wisely suggests you see how you can explore what is tickling your interest without giving up on your ‘day job’ just yet. This reduces the risk and reduces the stress until you know if you want to invest more of your time, money or anything else you may need to succeed on your terms. Research has proven that “those who first start as a hybrid entrepreneur before jumping into a full-time new venture are 33 percent less likely to fail.”
• Provide everyday stability
  • This tool will sound very familiar to long-time readers/listeners of TSLL/podcast. The reality for those who say they love uncertainty is that they actually have a lot of certainty in their life that gives them more ease to feel as they do about the unknowns. In fact, they have gone to “surprising lengths to create a great deal of certainty in other parts of their lives.” Described in Chapter 12 as Uncertainty Balancers, they show up “in the form of habits, routines, rituals, objects, humor, and relationships.”
  • The balancers we choose after getting to know ourselves, discovering what calms us, what regulates our nervous system, what elevates our mood, and reduces tension, are tools we can lean on to reduce anxiety about the uncertainty we will face by stepping forward into the unknown. From having the same breakfast, keeping your wardrobe simple, yet complementary to who you are and wish to present to the world, incorporating exercise regularly, prioritizing rituals daily, weekly, seasonally, each nourishes you and helps you move forward in the direction you have chosen to go. Far from being rigid, much like a willow tree, balancers are the strong and solid root system that allows you to move and dance with your life and what you want to explore.
• Made to Measure
  • Otherwise known as Fait Sur Mesure (Chapter 16). As I continued to read this book, I became more and more appreciative of their examples as they draw upon the French culture, history and language, and case in point is this tool. Fait sur mesure reminds each of us that “in life, we really do get to choose for ourselves, that we can make a life that is fait sur mesure.”
  • Unconsciously, we sometimes accept how life must unfold, what life choices must be part of our journey and when they should happen. But these are limiting beliefs that we have self-imposed. We talked about having regrets earlier, and how minimizing our regrets is crucial to making the best decision for our life journey. “Failing to live our life fait sur mesure can lead to regret that is emotionally draining and undercuts our performance.” Studies have proven this to be true as those who don’t take action on their dreams and instead ruminate on these “paths not taken underperform at work.”
  • So now, ask yourself, how can you tailor your life to what brings you to life while offering what you can uniquely give to the world? If you are still trying to figure that out, be sure to explore my Contentment Masterclass, a self-paced online video class where students who have completed the course share that it has helped them do just that – find their dharma and live courageously.

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Do

Now, we step forward. Now we take action and begin to discover what has never before been experienced. We can live our dreams or remain trapped by our fears. The choice will always be ours, but now that we have tools and awareness about all that we gain by embracing uncertainty, I am confident you are going to start living your dreams. Here are a few of the tools shared in their “Do” section of the book.

• Keep trying
  • In Chapter 22, titled 10,000 Shots, we are reminded that “most of us need to try more than we are used to when we face uncertainty.” Did you know that National Geographic encourages photographers to take at least 10,000 photos for the few dozen that will eventually be published? It is through multiple attempts, learning from those attempts, then tweaking, then polishing, trying something new, that we increase the percentage of the successful outcome that we are seeking.
  • There are many platitudes about how failing isn’t a ‘fail’ unless we refuse to either get up or apply the lesson. There are many platitudes that express this about unwanted outcomes because it is true. We don’t have to keep doing exactly the same thing, but we can keep going in the same direction, pursuing the same general destination. The difference is that we learn from each try, we glean insight, we tone our muscles. The authors reference Angela Duckworth and her definition of grit as “a blend of passion and perseverance.” The real truth of success and achievement resides more in working hard and refusing to give up than in being talented at what you do.
• Use quality ingredients
  • Talk about speaking the language of living simply luxuriously. Oh, goodness, this is true! In Chapter 23, titled Bricolage, a French term from the medieval verb for ‘to fiddle or tinker’, we are reminded that we get started by using the resources that we have. Not the perfect, most ideal resources, the resources available to us. This typically will mean that we will not reach the ideal outcome on our first try, but it gets us started. It gives us momentum and with that forward movement, we start to gain confidence.
  • The quality part of this equation is that we begin to realize how valuable and what a boost quality inputs will be when we have the ability to afford or use them. What is helpful to remember is that along the way of using what we have to get started, we learn exactly what we need and often realize what we do not.
  • In a recent interview with The Financial Times, the founder of London’s Forest Bikes shared that he preferred not to have excessive venture funding because it forced him to be more efficient and not waste money trying or doing things that would turn out to be unworthy. In other words, by starting with what you have, you learn where investing is a wise move and where it is not, and then when you are able, you do so, because you know it will be significantly beneficial.
• Take steady, yet small steps
  • By remembering the value of taking small steps, when a hiccup or ‘failure’ occurs, you can learn more quickly and not be derailed as you are building upon what you have already found to work. Setbacks are smaller and less of a hindrance, and you are less likely to get overwhelmed or exhausted to the point of questioning your choice to embrace uncertainty.
  • Taking small steps consistently doesn’t require that we have all the information we need. In fact, we begin to gather information. It is by traveling forward that we gain knowledge, from our missteps, mistakes, and tumbles, but again, that is all to the good as it teaches us more about how to journey forward successfully.

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Sustain

One thing that we can rely on when it comes to uncertainty is that there will be stress, anxiety, confusion, and exhaustion. The authors point out right out of the gate that while they are talking about the “upside of uncertainty, [they] don’t mean to minimize the downsides.” Downsides also include grief and frustration, blindsides that were not anticipated, but which, while not directly involved with our pursuit, cannot help but affect the pursuit itself.

Choosing to look to the symbolism of the city of Paris’ coat of arms, which depicts a boat floating above turbulent waters, often accompanied by the Latin motto fluctuat nec mergitur, “tossed but not sinking”, it serves to remind all of us that downsides in life will happen but how we navigate them will determine the outcome for our journey. Let’s take a look at a few of the ways to tend to our ability to stay the course. The authors organized them into three categories: emotional hygiene, reality check and magic. I will include one from each, but remember, there are many more found in the book.

• Emotional Hygiene: Riding the Waves
  • In the last episode of the podcast, episode #428, we explored the concept and skill of Equanimity, and one of the tools to pack with us as we embrace uncertainty is just that – the ability to ride well the swells and dips along our emotional journey as we travel.
  • With the clarity of purpose, why you are setting sail on this journey, return to that again and again during times of difficulty and doubt. There is a cycle, something that is the primary focus of my new book Savoring the Sojourn, that puts us on an emotional roller coaster of sorts during any journey of change. Research continues to bear this to be true. If we don’t realize this is going to be the case, then it is easier to be deterred and not persevere. But if we understand this is part of the journey, we are better able to ride the waves and see ourselves through the temporary emotional storms of uncertainty.
• Emotional Hygiene: Comforts
  • Yet another cross-over with living a simply luxurious life. Because we know the journey that will unfold when we embrace uncertainty will involve emotional upheavals, preparing our life with comforts that do just that, comfort us uniquely, helps to sustain our efforts.
  • One large comfort that is explored is our home, which if we have been consciously cultivating it, becomes our sanctuary, but having an actual physical home that has been curated to our tastes and lifestyle isn’t necessary depending upon what is nourishing to us. Other comforts include the food you eat, the environments you spend time in such as regular time in nature, nourishing relationships, pets as companions, books to read or reread, music to listen to, anything that nourishes and heals you, make sure to already have it in your life and prioritize it as a necessity to support your journey into the uncertainty you must face in order to arrive where you wish to go.
• Reality Check: Understand the nervous system
  • Taught in detail in TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass, Lesson #4, when we know how our body, specifically our polyvagal system works, we inform ourselves of how to best take care of ourselves when we start to feel unwanted feelings, agitations, a desire to flee or retreat. Described in the book as “Embrace Being Human”, we are reminded that even the wise and talented among us “feels confused, lost, and uncertain.” Find comfort in this truth and with the tools learned to sustain your journey, put them into practice when you feel this way.
• Magic: Show up and be present
  • Luck seems to happen more often when we engage with life fully. Magic isn’t some mystical woohoo thing in the context of sustaining ourselves. It is acknowledging that we don’t control everything, but we can cultivate a life that catches it more often than it would otherwise. How we ‘catch it’ has to do with whether or not we live in the present moment. Live a life you love living. Be engaged with a project that requires energy and your full attention but also leaves you satisfied at the end of the day. Along the way, ahas happen, you cross paths with people, you learn more about the world.

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The uncertainty we choose to embrace need not be grand and wildly life changing each time we do so. It can be trying a new hobby in which the consequences either financially or emotionally aren’t too intense. As we grow in these pursuits, we gain courage to dip our toe into larger fields of uncertainty. The key is to know thyself and realize that uncertainty surrounds all the time anyway. We might as well use it to our advantage to build the life we love and that upon reflection be grateful that we weren’t stiffled by the unknown but rather seized the opportunities given to us when we could do so.

“Because the truest downside to uncertainty is living a life smaller than what you are capable of.”

I share this episode’s content both to offer inspiration and to inspire myself to always remember these truths. Our life is a breath in the story of the universe, why not take a deep one and step forward bravely so that we may live the depth of it as well as the breadth, however long we have the good fortune to do so.

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