The day that will not end. Full of minor frustrations that feel personal (to our irrational mind). The conflicts and obstacles that arise or can’t seem to be resolved by us alone. Solutions impossible to find, or so they seem. Nothing seems to be working for us.

But you persevere.

You keep working, keep seeking help from those who are able. You remember that life will throw us days that feel especially heavy, emotionally exhausting, as though even a minor pin prick could cause us to tear up or ask ‘why is this happening to me?’ for seemingly no reason at all while also remembering that these days will pass, and often as quickly as 24 hours.

When we remember this truth about the difference that a day can make, we give ourselves peace of mind. Not because we’ve figured it out yet or that things are going as we would prefer yet, but because so much can change, so much can arrive or be revealed from sources unknown, in ways unknown, that our conscious mind cannot entertain in this stressful state.

Ludwig van Beethoven. One of the most well-known composers of classical music who followed in the enormous shoes left by Mozart and Haydn at the end of the Classical era. Beethoven composed more than 700 pieces, nine of which are his famous symphonies, universally recognizable even to non-classical ears. It was the depth of emotion in his creations that was not previously seen in classical music, and many musical historians argue it has still not been equaled. While reading Jan Swafford’s biography Beethoven: Anguish and Triumph, a character trait that is continually on display is his fiery passion for in his enthusiasm for creating new works but also in his anger and stubbornness when something was disliked by critics. However, what is also repeatedly revealed is that even when something wasn’t well received by those who he sought feedback, while he vehemently made known his dislike for their disapproval, when they provided sound reasoning, he took their feedback, applied it and as history has shown, created masterpiece after masterpiece. In Beethoven’s case, masterpieces that changed how classical music was forever composed.

I share this because during the course of a day, there will be days when events, responses, anything that involves those beyond our inner wantings, that will not go to our liking. What Beethoven did was something that let him feel how he felt. He didn’t suppress it, but he then looked more closely at the veracity of the undesired response. And if there was value in the feedback he received, he applied it and, in his case, changed the course of musical history. Take, for example, his Sonata No. 21 in C major, a three-movement piece that, when Beethoven first finished it, a trusted confidante told him the second movement was too long. Furious at first, Beethoven mulled over what he had heard and recognized the validity after examining the reasoning given. He took his friend’s advice, and the Waldstein, as it came to be known, demonstrated Beethoven’s growth as a composer during what is now described as his Heroic period. Have a listen to even just a part of the sonata below.

The difference of literally a day, first gives us the time to sleep on the information we have received, no matter how unwanted. When we try to figure out a problem or come up with a solution immediately following an unwanted event, our brain isn’t accessing all of its available knowledge. This is where the knowledge of our brain and nervous system, skills of mindfulness, keep us calm, at ease and grounded even when things are not going as we would prefer.

During days unwanted, the amygdala takes the wheel which is the irrational part of the brain. The part of the brain that signals – survival mode! We are only thinking about how to quickly figure something out, or avoid hearing the unwanted feedback, as in Beethoven’s case, with his emotionally angry reaction. And sometimes we jump to catastrophizing. This is dysregulation of the nervous system territory where fight, flight, or freeze seems like a wise idea (it is not).

As much as our amygdala is being ratcheted up, our pre-frontal cortex is taking the back seat. And the prefrontal cortex is what we need to be at the wheel, rather than our amygdala, because it is where rational thought, impulse control, and logic guide our thoughts and actions.

So, yep, again, when our emotions, especially unwanted emotions, arise due to a day not going as we would like, this is a sign to our conscious mind that we may not be thinking as clearly or well as we would be otherwise. Historians point out that Beethoven was an emotionally expressive composer and conductor. Granted, not always the easiest to work with, but dependably passionate about music and creating and reimagining what was possible.

Beethoven wasn’t even 30 yet when he began to notice problems with his hearing (first documented in 1789), yet even as the problems intensified, he persisted, and arguably one of, if not the most beloved symphonies, No. 9 (his last symphony) was composed between 1822 and 1824. These unquestionably unwanted, irreversible events could have deterred him, could have stopped him from creating, but he persevered.

But we’re just talking about the difference of one day, 24 hours. And MUCH can change in just that short amount of time.

Combine the knowledge of how our mind works during stressful times and why we cannot trust our thoughts and fears in such moments with a good night’s sleep. Just remembering all that our mind can do while we are fast asleep is something of a lullaby for adults, letting us find peace as we drift off to sleep. Last week in episode #427, one of the 10 Daily Choices that are a wise investment to make in our well-being is to prioritize a good night’s sleep. One reason is that, while awake, our conscious mind is unable to find solutions available to us but tucked away in our subconscious, which we cannot see while awake. When we sleep, our mind gets to work and starts to search and explore our resources of information that we have within us, but in our irrational state, we aren’t able to become clear of thought to explore where and for what we actually need.

Another reason a day makes an amazing difference is that it gives time for others to share their knowledge.

If we have been wise in our awareness, and have chosen to respond rather than react during the unwanted day, we may have wisely reached out to those expert in the field we are trying to better understand. And then we must wait for them to respond. During our waiting, we get on with our day. Perhaps apply our mindfulness tools of nourishment to calm our being – taking that walk outdoors, immersing ourselves in a hobby that holds our attention, or journaling it out. We must let go, and we must bring our mind fully to the present, not trying to rush through it until we receive that email or text, or have that face-to-face chat.

So let’s recap how we can put the odds in our favor that tomorrow will be an entirely different, read – far better, day than our current unwanted one:

• Understand that today is one day and to not catastrophize. Instead, acknowledge the day isn’t going well, emotionally you are easily triggered, and you notice this without letting these emotions spill over into further disruptions. This is a practice in awareness of one’s ‘on-edge-ness’ to put it in emotional terms, and when we observe this in ourselves, we help prevent further snowballing.
• Understand how the mind shifts ‘drivers’ of the brain when stress rises. Know the difference between when the amygdala is at the wheel versus the prefrontal cortex.
• Give your dilemma, conflict, problem, etc., to your sleeping brain. Prioritize a good night’s sleep and give your mind a rest so that the subconscious mind can search for resources you weren’t able to tap into in your stressed state.
• Practice patience and reach out for help from those experts in the field where you are seeking knowledge you don’t yet possess. Remember other people have their own timeline, reach out with your inquiry and let go. And then get about living thoughtfully in the present.
• While in the present moment, to bring calm, engage in activities of nourishment.

Another reason tomorrow evolves into a far better day is that we rest our exhausted emotional mind. In the new day, we wake up refreshed, with more clarity, and even if we don’t have a solution yet, we know we are more likely to find it because we have let our mind unwind. We had to do it unconsciously (while we slept), but we have essentially gotten out of our own way.

We may wake up and realize what wasn’t helpful in our actions or words the day before, and so choose differently in our new day. Any new and different action will result in different outcomes. As simple and as rational a formula as that seems on the second day, while yesterday was unfolding, we may have had difficulty remembering such a truth.

On more than one occasion, it has happened in my life that in a matter of 24 hours, I have gone from feeling as though I had run up against a wall and couldn’t find a solution to receiving an email of requested and helpful information that ‘unwound the knot,’ so to speak, and helped my conundrum make sense. Or with the new day’s dawning, a clear mind found the path that had been invisible the day prior. I simply needed more information that wasn’t accessible at the moment. Regarding an expert, I had to make the effort to reach out, to ask, to inquire, and then I had to wait. Regarding my unconscious mind, I had to give it time and let it rest deeply while I slept. Had I let my Lizard mind take the wheel, thinking it was driving me well, I wouldn’t have been able to think clearly enough to know whom to reach out to, or permit myself to sleep and sleep long and deep.

Unwanted or bad days are going to happen, but the more we exercise mindfulness, thus, awareness of ourselves and the mind as well as put to use the skills we’ve learned, the fewer bad days of our own making will occur. Then, any bad days that do come about will be a result of circumstances beyond our control. And as they do, we apply our skills to navigate them well.

Today, be reassured that if it isn’t going as you had imagined or hoped, or a day in the future occurs that is unwanted, know it can change for the better in a matter of 24 hours and is more likely to do so when you engage with and apply the five exercises and tools shared above.

Wishing a quiet assurance as you begin the week, that it is full of opportunities to savor and the tools to dance skillfully with anything unforeseen or not anticipated.

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~Learn more about TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass — the detailed syllabus, the trailer, reviews