Stop These 12 Unhelpful Tendencies, and Start These Beneficial Behaviors
Tuesday September 25, 2018

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From time to time, when we let ourselves move along through our days unconsciously, something will happen in the world or in our community that triggers a response we didn’t expect. In other instances, it may be we find ourselves emotionally raw or exhausted without fully understanding why until we take a moment to do a self-check. 

Today, I’d like to offer a moment for a “coffee or tea break” of sorts to take a deep breath, collect your thoughts and do a self-check. In so doing, we can avoid exacerbating a situation or accepting a feeling that perhaps isn’t actually ours to take on. 

I found myself recently more inundated by emotions that wore me down that weren’t directly related to me or events in my life, but upon closer inspection, did have something to do with outside events beyond my control. However, I wanted to self-correct as best as I could as I understood what prompted this had to do with unconscious tendencies that I was happy to realize I could stop and let go. 

Below I have made a list of 12 shifts of behavior we can all make; some were inspired by my experience shared above and others are habits I use in my life and have found to be of great benefit to improving the quality of my days. Have a look and feel free to share a “stop and start” of your own that has benefited the quality of your everydays. 

1. Stop striving to be thin and Start striving to be healthy. (Discover 10 simple ways to live healthier here.)

2. Stop being busy and Start being efficient. (Read this post for specific steps.)

3. Stop assuming/accusing others of having an unconscious bias and Start checking your own confirmation bias (learn more here about how we can all be guilty of unknowingly favoring one side more than we are consciously aware). 

4. Stop venting when stressed and frustrated by someone else’s behavior and Start expending your frustration in healthy, helpful activities. Studies have shown that venting actually fuels the “flame of anger” rather than reduces it. Instead, focus on examining why you feel wronged, hurt or angered. Examine ways to right the wrong with your choices going forward. But first, perhaps partake in either some sort of energy expending exercise, creative task, journal writing or simply let yourself cry to release the emotions that are wanting to be shared. The key, if you want to talk about it, is to instead focus on your hurt, not building up more anger toward the perpetrator. 

5. Stop spending and Start investing. Initially, they may appear to be the same thing, but upon closer examination of what you are spending your money on, make sure it is elevating the quality of your life and not filling a void, or avoiding something that needs to be addressed. In other words, shift how and on what you spend your money. 

6. Stop comparing your desired future to your present and instead Start savoring your present as you gradually do the work of reaching the future you desire. 

7. Stop worrying and Start finding a way, no matter how small, to institute the change you seek. 

8. Stop holding on and Start letting go. (6 Specific ideas to let go of to elevate your life.)

9. Stop looking for love and Start learning how to love. (I have an entire post on this subject if you would like to learn more. )

10. Stop racing out the door in the morning to begin each day and Start your day smart.

11. Stop romanticizing these five life experiences and Start being a romantic to experience these six benefits.  

12. Stop assuming the worst in people and Start being the best you can be. (Discover 9 benefits of self-awareness.)

May today be a reboot of good energy if you are in need of stopping a few bad tendencies and welcoming in beneficial practices. Thank you for stopping and have an enjoyable and tranquil Wednesday.

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16 thoughts on “Stop These 12 Unhelpful Tendencies, and Start These Beneficial Behaviors

  1. I love the positive focus and energy from this wonderful website! I feel soooo fortunate to have found this great positive information just by accident!

  2. Yes, I agree with Lisa (previous comment), such an uplifting reminder of what is really important. Thank you, thank you for sharing.

  3. Thank you Shannon! It’s the everyday little miracles that the Lord puts in our path to remind us of what is important and what is best left to Him. Your post this morning as well as the counsel of good friends is reminding me to focus on what is good and true and let the negative and “noise” fall away.

  4. Oh, I love these so much. Lots of great wisdom in this post.

    remember reading somewhere that instead of trying to find the right person, focus on being the right person. That advice literally changed my life and how I viewed all my romantic (and platonic, for that matter) relationships. And similar to #8, I’ve learned – and continue to learn – that when my tendency is to push harder to find a solution to problem, I’m generally better off just stepping back instead. It’s the equivalent of continuing to try to break through a wall when if you just stepped back you might see that there’s a door just over there.

    Thank you Shannon for some great reminders and inspiration!

  5. Hi Shannon, I love this such a positive and forward thinking post.

    I have also been working on Stop looking for happiness from others and learn to look inside for my own.

  6. Wow, I really needed to read this !
    I found this a really significant read for me – points really resonated. Particularly stop striving to be thin and work to be healthy, comparing my present to my future and embracing the journey and stop worrying!
    Thank you for this x

  7. You always manage to post about the exact things I need to hear (or read) at any given moment in my life’s journey. I’m not sure how you do it, Shannon, but please keep it up! Your blog is fantastic! 🙂

    1. Lori, You are very welcome, and I am thrilled to hear I have helped in some small way. Thank you for time and interest in TSLL. We need regular boosts as we journey on, myself included. And your words have done just that. 🙂

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