Single or Married: 20 Things To Do
Monday October 17, 2011

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“It’s so common for your world to just turn upside down when you really commit to raising your vibration.  It’s no secret that thoughts are like magnets, so it’s impossible for people and life circumstances to stay the same when you change your mind and commit to a new belief.  Embrace the change for a change and just allow in the new life that’s working its way into your experience and TRUST it’s all for your benefit.  I promise you it is.”

– Jackson Kiddard (via The Daily Love)

In Atlantic monthly’s November 2011 issue, Kate Bolick’s cover article “All The Single Ladies” has been on a variety of news programs for her modern (however, based on her research, not as modern as we once thought) perspective on women’s and men’s roles in society.  She tackles the idea of embracing singledom (a validation in print that I was ecstatic read), but doesn’t knock marriage but instead tackles our changing perspectives on what it looks like.  An intriguing, thought-provoking read, that I highly suggest whether you are single or married, female or male, you read.

And so after reading this article, I began to ponder just what the lessons were and how they can be lessons for anyone no matter where they may be in their life or what their relationship status might be.  And what I realized is that there are many, all of which reside on the foundation of being cognizant of what society is propagating and knowing whether or not we are allowing ourselves to be led around by the nose or truly living life on our own terms.

Here is a list of 20 things to do to enjoy the life you have now instead of waiting for happiness to arrive when you exchange vows or reflecting back on what was instead of reveling in what is right in front of you.

1. Cut the Apron Strings Financially. If you are single, be a responsible adult and do everything in your power to stand on your own two feet.  If you are in a relationship, have your own account and a joint account.  Life can be shocking and it is imperative to maintain good credit. By doing this, you are actually allowing for stronger, more mature relationships to blossom because no one has more power than the other, so instead you can focus on the relationship itself.

2. Be Reciprocal – Chase your own dreams and support those you love in chasing theirs as well.

3. Revel in the Now – Look for the beauty in the current moment. It’s there, but sometimes we’re so busy looking for something else that we overlook it.

4. Don’t Isolate Yourself – Make friends and establish relationships in all walks of life.

5. Throw Away the Rule Book – Everyone will discover that certain previous ways of doing things will work, but just as often, there will be things that we must step outside of the box if we’re going to be fulfilled.  Once you understand whatever the rules are and why they are there, then you can do what works best for you.

6. Always Maintain a Bit of Mystery – Whether you are in a relationship that has lasted for  years, are dating, or with regards to what you share with your friends, keep something to yourself. For example: those indulgences you allow yourself when nobody else is around, where your find your favorite lingerie or what you really think of so-and-so.

7. Continually Learn and Challenge Yourself – We are all works in progress, continually fine tuning ourselves as we become the best version we can possibly be.  Choose to always be a student of life.

8. Demand Respect Tactfully – but be able to laugh at yourself.

9. Be Able to Recognize When Your Ego is Doing the Talking – Your ego usually speaks first, and it usually speaks the loudest. Learn to recognize it when it arises and keep it in check.  Knowing how to discern when it is speaking will help you make better decisions.

10. Stop Wishing Your Life Away – Because we are humans and because humans have egos, we will always want.  Knowing which wants will help us and which will hurt us is key.

11. Look Out for Something – Have something/someone in your life to take care of or look out for.  For example: the kids you teach, your pets, a widowed grandparent, nieces and nephews, or your own children. But as a caretaker, give them wings. Don’t enable them.  Build their confidence and let them know you’re supporting them, but give them the belief in themselves to try and explore new things.

12. Learn Patience.

13. Know Thyself – Know what you will and won’t compromise on.

14. Establish a Healthy Confidence

15. Surround Yourself with Goodness and Sincerity

16. Make Conscious Life Decisions – Whatever you do, take the time to be certain your actions are not being subconsciously coerced by societal norms, others’ expectations or lack of strength to do something more desirable.

17. Find Time to Breathe, Assess and then Congratulate or Adjust Regularly.

18. Determine Your Own Course – There are more than enough followers in this world.  Get on about the business of enjoying the journey that must be traveled to arrive at your intended destination.

19. Maintain Balance.

20. Allow your mind to work for your benefit.

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7 thoughts on “Single or Married: 20 Things To Do

  1. It’s a common misunderstanding that all single ladies are considered alpha females. This is untrue, some of them really look for the other half but somehow they can’t find it. When you’re single, you have so much time, you really need to think about yourself deeper. The personal development is a priority there, otherwise you have so much time that you might get depressed. Feeling alone might continue to feeling sad and unimportant. And this is something no-one wants to. The article has a great hint from Jennifer Aniston. She clearly knows how to survive that tough time. I wish her all the best!

  2. I think it is really hard to make friends as an adult. I moved to Australia 12 years ago so a I have friends there or that moved to other cities. I have acquaintances at workin find of but we see each other everyday so do not really socialize on weekends …. I do live a good life and I go places and see things but gets lonely by yourself sometimes and even if you politely chat to people you meet when out they would think it odd if after a short conversation you invited them for coffee…..

    1. I agree that the dynamics and availability to connect does shift as we all begin traveling on our own path. I have struggled with this as well as, so when I do find a friendship, I value them far more than I would have when I was younger.

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