This year marks the 20th anniversary of Love, Actually, the holiday, now modern classic film, created by Richard Curtis (in fact, there is a reunion with many of the cast members who sit down with Diane Sawyer airing tomorrow on ABC, click here to watch the trailer), a film Curtis shared was not necessarily easy to make and he didn’t have high hopes for it (and initially, it didn’t actually do well, but in subsequent years, has taken on a life of its own).
It is the line, the last line in the opening voice-over, “Love, actually, is all around” that may initially to the cynic seem farcical, to the skeptic unlikely and to the heartbroken disingenuous, but I will be the trumpeter of trusting the statement to indeed be true. After all, “love is a state of being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you.” Now, waaaaaait a minute, you might be saying, the line states that Love ‘is all around“, so that implies outside of us, so which one is it?
I’ll answer that question directly in a moment, but first, I am grateful to have finally, after many years, discarded what others have so narrowly defined as love, what it has to be, must be, in order to be considered ‘love’ in the eyes of the broader culture. Why? Because as soon as I began to find love outside of these parochial definitions, my days came to life, the joy I felt was enduring through the entire day no matter what was occurring, and I began making better decisions that nurtured what real love, as Eckhart Tolle, who defined Love above, calls enlightened love.
Love is all around us because when we engage wholly with the moment that is right now, not demanding that it be something different, we see the beauty, we see what is going well, we see the wonder, we see and know so much could be different, but are wholly able to be grateful for what is right now. I wrote about the power of Presence in last week’s Monday Motivational post if you would like to explore further how to ‘dance’ so to speak in the Present moment and why it will elevate your entire life.
Love is a letting go of what has to be, a letting go of definitions that are created by a culture for their own gain, paying no mind to the how or who the world and the individual people actually are that that definition affects and what brings them to life innately, and when we let go, we open up an entire new line of sight that will amaze us.
Such a concept seems too abstract perhaps, but it is actually quite simple. Let’s take a closer look.
Here on The Simply Luxurious Life, we focus on savoring the everydays and thereby elevating our everydays because that is where our lives are lived, but if we spend our days (and I use the verb ‘spend’ intentionally due the exchange) waiting to express love or hoping to feel love on a particular day – whether a holiday, our birthday, a wedding day, an anniversary, etc., etc., we are ignoring the love that is right here with us right now every single day. When we feel it fully, express it sincerely, savor it, but don’t cling to it, don’t ask for the moment to be more, people to do or be more, we can do this with ease because each of us has an infinite amount of love already within ourselves.
This may all sound a bit heady, but the more you are able to distinguish between put-upon constructs from outside entities and instead explore what deeply stirs your joy because you have dared to honor and nurture you, get to know yourself, feel what you feel, and move through it, not avoid it, you begin to experience even more of a life you will love living.
Decisions are made with clarity knowing what feeds you, not what will delight the outside world. Some decisions may by happenstance delight the outside world, but that was never the intent, nor is the applause needed but humbly appreciated.
In episode #339, the paradox of contentment is shared and at the other end of the spectrum, contentment being at the opposite end, is a life where we think we can never find love, and keep making the wrong decisions in relationships, work, life in general, but the truth is, because we haven’t gone within and dared to honor our truth, we have just been following unconsciously, making decisions in an attempt to gain approval from others around us, never heeding what we truly need, we never tap into the love within, and thus don’t feel we can find love. But the good news is, the love has always been with us because it is us. We are love. We carry it with us wherever we go, thus, love indeed is all around us.
When we begin to live in touch with the love within which gives us the knowledge to be wholly in the Present moment, we find an ease in our days and because we are at ease, we can more easily witness, embrace, engage with and celebrate all that is to love right within our proximity. When we are present we don’t try to control or to cling, we don’t whine or guilt, we don’t have expectations and we carry love that has been supposedly lost due to death or an end in a relationship with us because we know that love goes on.
It is true, the more love you have genuinely given has a way, unexpectedly and often in a entirely different form or arena, to find you as you continue on your life journey and even more wonderfully, the more love you have experienced – in your everyday moments, going about your day, pottering in the garden as you care for Mother Nature, for your pets, with others in all the many relationships and connections in your life – the more love you continue to find. Why? Because for lack of a better analogy, being able to be love is a muscle and the more you exercise it, the more it becomes a healthy habit, and the more you experience it, the more you realize how love appears in a wide array of moments and ‘coincidences’ and you find yourself enjoying your everydays in a way you may have never thought possible. One of the most wonderful lessons of all is that you realize you do not have to force or plan anything. You can just be and that is where love is.
“lf you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.” —Love, Actually
Much to ponder, but really something quite simple to ponder, embrace and then begin to savor. Thank you for choosing to stop by today, and wishing you a wonderful start to the new week. Bonne journée.
SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY
episode #339, The Paradox of Contentment