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Maybe this has happened to you. You long for a vacation, a getaway, even just a day away somewhere other than what you are muddling through at the moment, so you book it, you reserve it, you plan to do just that, but upon arriving, one thing or many things cause more stress and discomfort making you long to be right back at home in your everyday.
It is in just such unwanted moments that disappoint our hopes that we realize something invaluable: What we truly need, and perhaps already have but didn’t appreciate it is already present in our everyday lives.
On a recent short getaway, to give my brain a break from the construction in the house, as well as from the smoke and the heat, the boys and I trekked to a new destination on the coast – a small town that came fairly well recommended, and I charged myself to try something different from my usual coastal preferred town.
To make a long story short, more discomfort was found than the comfort I had envisioned which made me long to be home (after the walks on the beach of course – those were lovely!). At first, I was disheartened, but then I stopped and took a beat to assess what I had learned: (1) the everyday life routine I have cultivated is pretty awesome, and in many ways a daily vacation right in my very own home as it equally welcomes respite alongside work and productivity. Comfort abounds which provides routine rest enabling me to work well when I do.
I was reminded how quickly our creative energy can be depleted when our attention is consumed with solving problems we had not foreseen nor know initially how to solve. (2) Yet another reason to cultivate beneficial habits as they indeed do free up the mind to explore, wander and ‘stumble’ upon wonderful possibilities.
Lastly, as I brought my boys along with me, they reminded me how each of us will respond differently to the same ‘new’ experiences. For each of us, (3) our comfort zones are unique to not only our life experiences, but our temperament. If we have HSP tendencies for example, too many ‘new’ anythings will prompt over-arousal and we will not be able to participate fully as all of what is ‘new’ is just too much, but for someone who is not HSP, the more ‘new’ the better may be more likely. Simply because a particular situation sits well with one person, doesn’t mean something is wrong with the other or they are not perceiving the experiences correctly. The truth is, each of your responses to the situation are valid because each person is different with different levels of reaching over-arousal (not in a sexual sense, but a sensory basis – what we see, what we hear, what we feel – literally, etc..).
The topic of comfort sits at the foundation of living simply luxuriously. British interior designer Nina Campbell recently shared on The English Home podcast the importance of comfort in our homes. Before she begins planning any project, she requires her clients to thoughtfully examine how they live, and in determining clearly how they live, they then begin to make décor decisions that will complement and support that life.
So that is the question to ponder today: What or how does your life need to function in order for you to feel comfort?
In episode #130 I shared the guiding life truth that Comfort Begets Confidence, and how we arrive at comfort is living intentionally, having patience in the pursuit of what we know will bring comfort after taking the time to get to know ourselves. When we have finally attained such comfort, we are, as I share in Chapter One of #tsll2ndbook more likely going to be more appreciative of what we’ve attained because it didn’t come easily, as we arrived at such a point with conscious clarity, and thus we have cultivated a life of true luxury.
And even after knowing all of this, sometimes we need a gentle reminder to wake us up wide to the wonderful life we have thoughtfully and patiently built for ourselves, so that when we step back into it after returning from my ill-conceived getaway, our gratitude will be heightened and our lulls and quandaries diminished if not evaporated and we sink into the everyday life we love living.
Wishing you a lovely start to a brand new week, and may your everydays hold much to savor.