“A simple life doesn’t mean settling. It means to be free.” —Anonymous

When a car’s trunk or the back of a pickup is full of luggage, cargo, or anything that we are moving from one destination to another, if we have made use of the entire carrying capacity, the vehicle’s ability to move forward quickly and efficiently (use of fuel) is reduced. Yes, these design features in the vehicles are made to give us the ability to carry items with us wherever we are going, but impedes how well we travel forward and along our journey.

The same can be said of our lifestyle and daily routine. Yes, we can get by on five, even four hours of sleep, but the quality of our day will decline over time if it is a habit we keep. Yes, we can keep our house full of stuff – our closet, our garage, all surface areas, etc.- but gradually, this physical clutter begins to clutter the mind as well, reducing its ability to relax and feel at ease. Yes, we can schedule each hour of the day with something to do, tending to a task or responsibility, each weekend planned, every waking moment seized for more doing, but how often are we fully present to appreciate and savor the life we are living?

We haven’t talked directly about simplicity for a few months, even though everything about living simply luxuriously is infused with this necessity of simplicity at the core. So I wanted to bring the concept to the surface as a reminder of why simplicity is worthwhile and how to cultivate it in our everyday life.

I shared in last Friday’s This & That post that, coincidentally, the guest bedroom being empty, void of any furniture at this moment in time, has worked out beautifully. Having this room unfurnished has given me a temporary book-packaging room for organizing and preparing for shipment of all the preordered copies of Savoring the Sojourn. No, I didn’t plan it this way, but in past years hallways were used, sofas and chairs were used, and while it worked absolutely fine, having an entire room to lay out all of the supplies without it getting in the way of anything else for the time being brought a smile, relief and peace of mind as I could easily see everything, ensuring I had what I needed for the assembly line. Our daily life benefits in the same way.

When we have space between and around what we care about – time with our loved ones, time to do the work we love well, time to travel without rushing, spaces free of clutter with intentional blank space on the walls or empty space on the counter so that what we do have in these spaces shines more brightly, sings more fully, what we say we care about actually begins to care for us back. Because we are giving our attention fully to what we value, not distracted by too much to do, too much stress, too many looming responsibilities that may grab at our thoughts in the present moment, what we care about has the potential to blossom more fully into its potential.

How can we set ourselves free? Reduce the following:

Money stress

• Identify what money responsibilities and/or obligations knaw at you. Now begin to make new decisions in your approach to spending and how you view what you have to spend money on. What do you value? Which money responsibilities support what you value? Which ones support what others value or you think you should value, but bring you more stress than joy? If a money item falls somewhere in between, can you find a different option? From finding a better deal, to reducing the frequency, thereby reducing the amount of visits or expenditures, to refinancing or negotiating a better rate with the company you already have.

Clothing Decisions

• Deciding on the clothes we wear can become a headache and a money drain. While there has been much talk about capsule wardrobes, even right here on TSLL, with time, I have found a Lifetime Wardrobe is a far better approach so that I can then go about living my life. I absolutely love looking my best and have always enjoyed dressing well, but dressing well can be expensive if we don’t shop for items that can go the distance. This is why the 12-part Signature Style series kicked off in January with a new post each month. Catch up here.
• One benefit I have found while dedicating myself to this approach is that my discernment comes more easily when I know I will only be purchasing one, sometimes two items each month, and I already have a list of what those items will be. I no longer go searching for items because I did the homework and know what I need. And when the year wraps up, I will have significantly completed the wardrobe project and have what I need, only adding items to replace or to add when a special item pops up and makes sense to add to what I already have.

Physical clutter in the home, our desk, our vehicle, anywhere we spent our time

• Having what we need, having what cultivates an enriched environment, in this case, physically, create a sanctuary or workspace of welcome. While some items will take time to find once we know what we do need or would love to have to complete a space, others in their removal can be quite swift if we are being honest about how we feel in a space.

Food & Drink stress

• Make the decisions easy, or easier, to eat and drink well when you are at home. Clean out the épicerie, clean out the fridge, and shop only for what nourishes your body and, yes, your mind.

Relationship stress

• While this will be unique to each of us and our commitments and responsibilities, remember that we also have a choice in many relationships that we may find to be stressful. Remember to be loving and kind in your communication of your needs while honoring your integrity to ensure you are treated well, but also knowing that others may have other needs and you may have to adjust previous hopes you had for various relationships. Similarly, whatever or however any relationship shifts and adjusts, when we approach it with loving-kindness and integrity, our conscience is at peace with how we engaged, and that too lessens our stress.

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Each one of us will hear the phrase Simple Life and have our own idea of what that is, of what life looks like in which we feel free, lighter, and deeply at ease. For me, it is to have more time alone, to have my own sanctuary, and the freedom to travel regularly. People in close proximity to me all the time is stressful, and I have learned that about myself being around all sorts of people in various situations. Even when things go well, I am thrilled to return to my sanctuary, savoring the time I had with those people and grateful to have my own space in my own company. When it comes to travel, this is both how I find respite and how I challenge and stretch myself. I come to life and feel deeply energized each time I return from a trip, so my objective in cultivating a simple life has always been to ensure I can travel regularly without worrying about my sanctuary when I leave home.

Simple living for me also means a small home, yet tending to all of the details. Whenever I have the opportunity to visit a large, expansive home, some with grand and well-kept gardens, I luxuriate in my time there because I love the space and so appreciate the care and upkeep that has created the gardens. However, I am glad they are not mine because I know it would be too much for me to care for well before it toppled over into feeling burdened, and thus not free. Again, this is what I know about myself.

Sometimes when we are creating a life that will be simple, we have to go through temporary burdensome times. Maybe it is a chapter of having to stay home far more than we would prefer – for work, for childrearing, for saving money, whatever it may be. So long as we know why we are doing so, and know that the purpose is to eventually give us more freedom and peace of mind, then this temporary time of unsettleness or more stress or inability to soar as we would prefer is an investment in the long-term quality of our life. Again, only each of us will know what an investment in this eventual freedom will be, or whether it is a sacrifice that burdens us in ways that reduce the quality of our life.

One more example from my own life on that front of temporary, seemingly ‘non-simple’ living. Over the past few years, much of my focus and investment have been on Le Papillon and on cultivating a sanctuary that nourishes me and exemplifies how quality choices can be lifetime decisions we are glad we made, because so many can be one-and-done if considered and invested in well. To my mind, these are decisions, time, and investments that are one and then done. No more, not continual, and they were each done; each room’s customization was done as well as possible, so that then all I have to do is live in and care for the house rather than continually maintaining, updating, or redoing it year after year or decade after decade.

I won’t hide the fact that there has been stress along this journey, whether financially or in project completion, as often the finished room takes longer than I had hoped (ahem, the guest bedroom? :)), but now I can see the finish line for the entire house being done – finally. There is now only one more room and a few more small accessory details around the house. That is it, and while it may have taken over six years, it has given me a life, with each renovated room or project, that simplifies my days and tasks and makes moving about the house more comfortable which brings more ease, and thus less ‘stuff’ is needed, as organization has been thoughtfully tended to, lights and fixtures are as I need and use them. And aside from books being everywhere, the house has a home for everything I need and love, and hopefully in a few months’ time, a place for my guests to relax as well :).

So, if we return to the car/pickup trunk analogy, if we are using our vehicle to take us somewhere that will be more nourishing, that will enable us to grow, to expand into our more full and complete self, then this slower and more costly part of our life journey is absolutely worth it. We know why we have packed up our vehicle, and we know the direction we are headed. Our intention is clear, and it is temporary this stress, this burden of all that we are carrying to our new life and way of living. It is when we travel this way all of that time that we are not able to be free. Again, having clarity about our purpose and knowing what we value, that will help guide our decisions about what to let go, what to change, and what to endure for the time being, if at all.

~Speaking of room tours: The Butler’s Pantry will be toured this Thursday! Be sure to explore becoming a Premier Member to be able to see these detailed tour posts- before-and-after photos, guiding objectives, and all the sourcing details. View all of the Home & Garden tours of Le Papillon here.

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So today, ponder what you can do in your life that will give you more freedom. Freedom to breathe with ease. Freedom to think creatively without worrying about what is around the corner. Freedom to deeply savor the Now, even while you step toward intentions you have set for your life.

September’s beginning offers a wonderful opportunity to become more clear about what enhances our everydays and conversely, what burdens them. In my new book Savoring the Sojourn, the entire first chapter following the Introduction, which is titled the Overture chapter, goes in depth on how to lay the groundwork in our daily life so that we can feel free to grow in ways we desire, to live the life that brings us to life. What we need is clarity, so first, we need to be calm enough to see what we really need, what really nourishes us, and what gives us peace, so we can enjoy each and every day. The calm begins when we settle ourselves long enough to ask the questions while also giving ourselves time to answer honestly about how we feel in our days, how we sleep at night, what wakes us up, what fills our mind, what brings a smile, what exhilarates us. When we can answer these questions clearly, we are finding our way toward a simple life that will bring us to life.

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