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“The truth is that if we want to make a big leap forward, we are often first asked to first take a small step back. If we carried on undisrupted, there would be no impetus for change. There would be nothing to make us stop and second guess where we’re headed. There would be nothing to direct us off the familiar path. There would be nothing to spark the unraveling of what we’ve been and the becoming of what we will be. There would be nothing to initiate progress.” —Brianna Weist, author of Ceremony
Simple ahas such as which fabric should we choose for the curtain or shades in the living room, or clarity about which direction should we take our career often reach a decision in a blink of a moment. But prior to that moment there has likely been months, if not years of intention casting a wide mental net as options were explored, as you searched your inner dreams and passions and comforts. And then, if you know how this magic works, letting go was involved as well.
It has been my experience that the most dependable ahas occur seemingly out of the blue, but due to keen awareness and closely examination, also follow after years of wonder and exploration. Once I have put my intention out into the universe and then go back to getting about my life – work, routine, hobbies, etc., it is during an unexpected moment when I am calm, when I am rested, often when I am just being still that the aha will hit me. It will be so obvious that I don’t doubt its revelation for a moment because I just know – that’s it. That’s the fabric. That’s where I want to live when I retire. In that blink of a moment, I just know.
Part of the reason the aha is so clear is because we have tried or explored other options and they just haven’t felt as solid, as definite, or anything else we were looking for or thought we would feel upon seeing the idea presented, likely something akin to a deep ease of ‘knowing’. But the other part, as to why the aha is so clear is because we aren’t forcing it to arrive; the aha shows up in its own timing . . . Not ours. We didn’t expect it. We didn’t invite it. We weren’t searching for the answer in that moment. It just plopped itself down in front of our laps and said, “Here I am!”
The precursor to clarity for us to discover these aha moments is to become calm. Truly calm, at ease, able to take a deep breath without reminding ourselves to do so.
When we are calm, it reflects that we are mindful of our daily life and the environments that surround us, and how they influence us. And we, with this awareness, have consciously created a life that fosters this calm. It didn’t happen by accident. Calm doesn’t just happen consistently without our intention. Yes, it can happen randomly, while on holiday or vacation, at a particular locale, but retaining the calm is understanding the ingredients of how to create it.
For example, a spa, or a quiet beach may be calm, but if we bring ourselves with a busy mind that cannot be relaxed with us to either one of these spaces, we will not gain the benefits of the calm environment. Conversely, when we know how to calm our mind, any place whether we are at home, at work or traveling, can be rich with tranquility. However, it is important to point out, that we cannot just be calm within our mind and step into any stressful, distracting, obnoxiously chaotic situation again and again and again, and not expect to be affected adversely by it. Both scenarios above depict moments beyond our control.
It is with awareness that we recognize mindfulness’s role in being able to ensure that calm can be found wherever we might be, and then we take that skill and begin making decisions in our everyday life that cultivate a nourishing environment of calm, thus reducing a regular bombardment of stress and chaos.
Within our everyday life, because it is our home, our place of refuge should we give it the opportunity to be that for us, we can make simple choices that increase the calm.
Once we regularly experience calming environments, our mind relaxes, and when our mind is able to relax, just as we talked about in episode #373 – as Susan Magamsen and Ivy Ross shares in their book Your Brain on Art, our mind opens up allowing us to discover ideas and discoveries, connections and ahas. Research reveals that a more enriched environment contributes to better neural connections, which is how new ideas come to be discovered.
While we need to cultivate an enriched environment, the ‘how’ of which was discussed in detail in episode #373, for this to happen, we first have to clear out what is preventing our calm, and thus blocking our ability to think with clarity. So today’s post is all about the basics, often so basic that we might dismiss their powerful influence over grand idea discovery – simple everyday approaches to creating calm.
1. Clean out and Organize the Garage (or point of entry and exit to your home)
Any form of physical clutter can unconsciously cause clutter in our mental space. When we have the burden of ‘stuff’ hanging over us, but not knowing exactly what that stuff is, or where or if we have the stuff we need or even want to keep, this is more burdensome than we realize, and actually prevents ideas from crossing our paths because again, we are holding mental space for other non-creative things.
When we arrive at our home as well as when we leave our home, the first impression – in this case energy of calm or lack thereof – has a powerful influence on the weight or lightness we carry into the rest of our either day at work or personal life upon returning home. Once we free up space physically, we create wide open space for the ideas we have been nourishing through travel, reading, taking classes, wherever and however we input new information that we choose, to find new ideas and connect where they have never connected before. Why? They can see each other! They can travel to meet each other! Literally, that is what is happening on a neural level, new synapses are connecting, and that is when aha moments occur.
2. While you’re at it, clean your mode of transportation, and keep it clean
Living in America, and specifically a place like Bend, Oregon, we need and use our cars daily. There is no public form of transportation unfortunately, so we are in our cars to go from one place to the next unless we can walk there.
My neighbors, who are both retired, keep their house, garage, vehicles, everything as neat as a pin. Granted, it helps that they are retired, but the more time I spend with them and in their home, I know it is because of the everyday systems they have in place, so that nothing becomes too unruly, too messy. For example, as you walk into their house from the garage, they have their Dyson vacuum cleaner mounted on the wall. They immediately clean the floor mats or other entities in need of a quick vacuum before they vacate the garage. So simple! The dirt is still easy to see and pick up, and it only takes a moment.
Reduce the build-up of a task of cleaning up that appears time-consuming and thus daunting and weighty on our to-do list, and instead keep it tidy as much as possible daily.
3. Better yet, try to drive less and commute via public transport more
Elizabeth Burgerol, lead singer of the jazz band The Hot Sardines, shared with me in her interview on the podcast a handful of years ago that she came up with the entire melody of “Wake Up in Paris” (one of my favorite songs from the band) during one train ride on the New York City subway. Just one! When we don’t have to be hyper alert to driving conditions as we are when we drive, we can let our mind wander, and many an aha can be found.
4. Step away, turn off, stop reading/watching the negativity that causes pain
Negativity is the drain on our creative reservoirs of possibility. As we grow in awareness, our antennae becomes more keen as to where negativity is present in our lives. Sharing in episode #391, specifically point #2 on the list, when we begin to live a life of contentment which at its foundation awareness is found, we note who and what drains us and why. Now, initially, the neophyte learner of awareness will fight back and urge the person to stop being negative or rant at the news being shared on the radio/newspaper/television or take to their social media accounts to share their frustrations. But the seasoned individual who understands how to constructively use this awareness tool will simply change their life to avoid or limit being exposed to the negativity.
This is not putting our head in the sand, but it is acknowledging where we have control and where we do not. It is, to take inspiration from Mel Robbins as shared in episode #398, letting them be who they are and how they wish to live, but then reminding ourselves to “Let Me” choose a life that nourishes our dreams and life journey.
When we acknowledge how much negativity can weigh us down in all sorts of ways, and most definitely creatively, we are more motivated to remove ourselves from that source. When we do, we create freed up mental space for our ideas to dance and say hello.
5. Exercise vigorously in short intervals
One of the best ways I have discovered over the past thirty some odd years of exercising is when I work out vigorously, there is nothing else I am thinking about except when the exercising will be done. In other words, I can’t be distracted, and since I have chosen willingly to work out as I am (sprint interval training for example in my case), I know it is a good decision. I focus on my physical task at hand, and by the end, any inconsequential or trivial worry I may have be pondering prior to working out has vanished. Post-workout, my mind is clear, and I now have the choice to decide what I will begin thinking about, or just be and see what decides to dance about in my mind.
~Explore why spring interval training has become part of my new exercise regimen here in episode #401.
6. Meditate before going to bed
Over the past eight years, meditating has been part of my morning routine. It has been far easier (not initially easy) to implement this habit into my morning routine as the day hasn’t gotten away from me.
But meditating in the evening has been less habituated.
The day’s events, thoughts about the day’s events multiply, and before I know it, I am mentally exhausted and step straight into bed with a book to quiet my mind. BUT, what I know to be true is that meditating in the evening before bed, even if just for five minutes, which is all I do currently, creates the opportunity to intentionally “put to bed” the mind’s wanderings and clear it of everything. Not only does this help my sleep, but it brings calm to my mind and body. And while that calm may not bring me ahas before I go to bed, I am much more likely to have ahas when I wake up because my mind was clear when I went to sleep.
~Discover how to meditate and meditate with me in a guided session as part of TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass (check out the syllabus for the entire course here.
7. Clean the floors and all surfaces of your home and/or office
Now, it may seem like I am focused on cleaning the house from top to bottom, and while in many respects, I am, what I hope to do is underscore how powerful a clean home is to our ability to make the best life choices for our entire life journey.
With that said, I dislike cleaning very much. I have shared this with TOP Tier members over the years as I have gone back and forth between having a house cleaner, and then now reverting to realizing I am the best house cleaner for my home, Le Papillon. I think I needed to be reminded of the ease I give myself when I am the cleaner as I know, as Nigel Slater pointed out in a recent interview as he too cleans his own house, I am the best person to carefully and meticulously clean it because I care for it.
With that said, I also now am fully aware of the power of a clean house when it comes to my creativity. Especially when it comes to having clean floors and surfaces (counters, sofa cushions, etc.). Now don’t get me wrong, I love a traditional English approach to decorating – layers of books, items of significance on consoles, blankets, kitchen utensils at the ready, etc., so there is no minimalism going on here, but there is a place for each item, and there is a clean surface upon which that item rests.
Having pups means the floor is going to get dusty, but truly, I bring as much dirt and mud in as they do, so they are not to blame. Needless to say, having a simple, yet reliable system in place for keeping the floors clean, the upholstery and counters clean, so that it is done regularly, thus leaving the monthly house clean less of a reluctantly tended to choice, the better.
Again, clean house, clear mind. Calm. Thus, clarity for the ideas to dance about, be seen and pounced upon!
8. Reduce distractions, utilize the DND feature vigorously
Often it is our ability to be available all of the time that never fully permits us be in the present moment. When we go deeper into the project, into the conversation, into whatever moment we are engaged in, that is when ahas feel safe to say hello. I personify these gifts from our mind’s creative ability to bring to our attention to how we have to, again, make space, thus the time, to present themselves. And if we are running off in another direction every other 20 minutes or 10 minutes because our phone rings or pings, then no new idea has the ability to be seen in full or at all.
We cannot control when these gifts from our subconscious will arise. We have to let go, make space and engage fully in the present moment. Then . . . then we have set a welcoming dinner party at which to join us. ☺️
9. Automate any money decision that must be made repeatedly that is beneficial to your everyday life
From repeated orders you have to make for your health, beauty, fitness to your payments for mandatory bills and savings, anywhere you can eliminate decision-making and taking action that requires forethought, you conserve energy and bring yourself more peace of mind.
Knowing our finances are well at hand is a peace of mind that arguably can be seen as the foundation of peace, but the truth is, complete security is an allusion. However, when we toss aside the opportunities that are in our control to maintain as much security as possible, we are a fool. As someone who has gone from a fairly stable income as a public school teacher for 20 years to a creative who works for herself, knowing how to maintain financial peace of mind comes down to tending to what is in my ability to control and dancing well in the middle regarding things that are not – in other words, staying aware, but not engrossed with outside news, making wise investment decisions for the longevity of my business and knowing where to direct my attention, along with many other aspects.
All of this is to say, any decision you don’t have to make repeatedly, don’t. When it comes to retirement, rent/mortgage, utility bills, taxes, even beauty and fitness, set up a system of automation and stick to it so you can focus your energy elsewhere.
10. Read and continue to educate yourself
One of the simplest ways to first gain calm, and then clarity as your mind will have more ideas to connect the dots with, is to educate yourself. Do this for enjoyable purposes by picking up books on topics you want to learn more about without an agenda of ‘having to learn’ the content. When we know, we don’t guess and we don’t stress. Rather, we make informed decisions and dance with external forces rather than be held at the mercy of them wondering how or why things occurred, function, or can be improved.
In episode #402 which focused on a long list of ways to keep our mind and body healthy for our entire life, one of the simplest ways to keep exercising our mind’s recall ability is to read! Read a book of fiction, but also simply read a book that teaches you something and you have to then put that knowledge to the test by recalling it as you utilize it in your life. I can think of few things more enjoyable than reading and knowing it has so many benefits beyond just making the day more of a delight makes it all the more enticing to do.
11. Simplify to the point of the best quality, and no more
I want to leave you on this final point. Simplicity is at the core of creating calm. The less we have to tend to, step over, organize, etc., the better. But there is a point of diminished returns if we simplify too much. Here is where the ethos of TSLL comes into play – the art of living a life of quality over quantity.
The ability to happen upon ahas or to gain clarity is to free up your mind – having a wide open playing field for the many different things you have seen, learned, experienced, to dance and connect unexpectedly. We do this by making wise decisions for just about anything – investing well in our home appliances so that we aren’t replacing them frequently (or needing to call for repairs in the middle of an already busy week), choosing a smaller home rather than a larger one to reduce utility costs and time needed to clean and money to furnish, purchasing food that nourishes our health well both today and tomorrow, essentially addressing any area of our lives that causes us stress that we have the power to eliminate with wiser choices and better investments today. Sometimes the front-end investing seems heavy, but if we know our life – how we live and what we will gain not only today but in the long-term – that initial investment will seem small and nearly pennies compared to the priceless benefits of an elevated quality of life upon reflection.
With each of the items mentioned above, there is a limit to which you can go too simple. For example, too small of a house for your family may cause too many arguments amongst children and their boundaries, so we have to know where that point of diminishing value is. Once we become aware of both ourselves and what is available as an option, which is available to us once we find calm (addressing each of the items previously listed), then we will find clarity that will lead us to the best decisions as ahas arrive more frequently.
When we make the choice to exercise the action of gaining calm, we have to make time to physically do that temporary work – cleaning out the garage or setting up the DND feature, but these decisions and efforts happen once in order to bring us to the calm we seek regularly. Once we experience that calm, we can then maintain it. We know how and we also know we don’t want to have to backtrack and do all of that extra work that is unnecessary so long as we maintain what we have given ourselves. These are the little ‘steps back’, and the good news is that they are chosen, and not forced upon us. We do them because something isn’t functioning as smoothly as we would like, or we feel stuck, or burdened, so we change something so that we can gain clarity to figure out our best path forward.
I chose the quote that begins today’s post because the stepping back in the case of what we’re talking about today is to tend to what needs our attention, what needs to be either removed or organized and determined whether it is necessary to keep for the journey we want to travel moving forward. In the case of creating our enriched environment, the action of stepping back is our choice and one we have complete control over. In other instances, the stepping back is forced upon us, and we realize we must do something different if we want to change the life that doesn’t nourish us.
Use this opportunity when the control of making the necessary change is in your court to take advantage of what you have control over, and create the calm in your everyday life so you can discover the ahas that are waiting to introduce themselves to you. Before we get too deep into situations that don’t fit with our desired life journey, that don’t allow us to give in the way we can uniquely give, this opportunity of self-created change has the potential to give you insight into the projects, life paths and choices that will continue to enrich your everyday life and beyond without having to suffer unnecessarily.
If today’s post spoke to you and you would like more ways to bring calm and simplicity to your life, be sure to read/listen to episode #290 where 10 Life Choices to Simplify and Welcome a Calm and Contented Everyday Life are shared.
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