“Some of [our] beliefs, habits and behaviours are acquired by chance, and some we have designed for ourselves. But the beauty of the human mind is that no matter how these beliefs were shaped, they can be changed.” —Nicole Vignola, author of Rewire: Break the Cycle, Alter Your Thoughts and Create Lasting Change

Maybe it is the lack of confidence you have in your potential. Maybe it is the negative thoughts that stream through your mind at 2 am in the morning or in the afternoon when you are exhausted after a full first half of the work day has asked you to be on your game every single minute. Maybe it’s your doubt that you will ever be able to acquire that habit that will help if only you could incorporate it into your everyday.

Whatever default thinking habit you engage in that starts to chip away at the ‘good vibes’, at the hope, at the positive outlook you have on anything, this is the podcast episode for you to explore. In fact, I want to make it required listening/reading because when you take in the introduction to neuroscientist and author Nicole Vignola’s book Rewire, you’re going to be reminded of how powerful you are to remove the thought patterns you don’t want and start living, creating and thinking in a way that elevates the quality of your entire life.

As the new year approaches, we might be considering or evaluating what we want to improve, and in order to bring those changes into reality that we experience in our everydays we have to know how the machine, that is our mind, works as it pertains to acquiring and automating new habits, and also letting go of the unhelpful habits. This fundamental knowledge will foster the change you want to be part of your new year, and I cannot wait to share with you an overview of what you will learn when you pick up the book Rewire: Break the Cycle, Alter Your Thoughts an Create Lasting Change.

1.Establish a healthy foundation

A helpful analogy Vignola uses throughout the book is hardware and software. Our software is our mind, which is malleable, and our hardware is the foundation of our overall health. Rest assured, so long as your hardware is tended to, your software has the opportunity to change once you know how to do so. So what exactly is the hardware and how do we attend to it well? Get adequate sleep each night, exercise regularly. In other words, take care of your wellbeing – your physical and brain’s health – so that it can fire on all cylinders because it will take a well-tuned ‘machine’ to be able to change how our mind thinks.

Vignola humbly admits that it wasn’t until she acknowledge that it wasn’t the world that was conspiring against her, but rather she was conspiring against herself unknowingly. In other words, she had to first become aware of her unhelpful habits, including her mind’s defaults: beliefs about herself, inability to set boundaries, bad sleep and eating & drinking habits, and not exercising the mind through meditation. Each of these foundational skills strengthen our ability to then be able to “upgrade the software” that is our mind.

All of these “hardware/foundational” skills are detailed in TSLL’s 2nd book – Living The Simply Luxurious Life: Making your Everydays Extraordinary and Discovering Your Best Self

2. Understand how long it will take to change your mind

Numerous studies have been sited to share how many repetitions or days it takes for a new habit to be acquired. Depending upon how you look at the data, they are either wildly off the mark or worth considering. The truth is, as Vignola shares, “On average it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit, depending on the individual. And on average it takes around 66 days for a behavior to become automatic . . . these [changes] take time.”

When we understand this truth about the time required to acquire and then automate a new habit, it becomes easier to keep at it during the difficult transition period while our mind adapts, and eventually adopts the new or different approach or skill we are trying to learn.

3. Our Malleable Mind

Once we understand how the mind works, it is as if we have been given the missing map we’ve been looking for to harness the keys that will lead us to success. It all comes down to knowing that our mind is not stuck the way it is. It can learn new skills, it can think differently, it can create new, more beneficial defaults, etc. This is called neuroplasticity.

Vignola shares an approachable definition of this term: “Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change and adapt in response to the internal and external factors that shape it. The connections, functions and structure of the neurons reorganize themselves in response to repetitive input. Neurons are responsible for communicating information in our brain and the more we repeat something, the stronger the pathways of communication become . . . neurons that fire together wire together.”

She goes on to write, “The molecular structures of the brain, invisible to the naked eye, all suggest that the brain is designed to change, and it is arguably one of the most important aspects of neurobiology. It allows us to learn new things, unlearn unwanted behaviours and means we can adapt according to our circumstances and new experiences.”

This is such awesome news. Not only are we never truly stuck in any pattern that is not healthy or beneficial, we get to choose what we want to change. When we choose to learn something new – a new language, a new thought pattern, anything, we are introducing new synapses and with repetition encouraging them to form new connections in the brain. That is how a new habit is formed. What is a synapse? “A tiny gap that allows neurons to communicate with one another. At the synapse, one neuron sends a message to another. This is where the exchange of information takes place using chemicals called neurotransmitters”. This is how the brain reorganizes itself and thus changes.

4. Repeat what you want to be a part of your life

“When neurons communicate with one another repeatedly, they get better at communicating and the signals between them grow stronger . . . When we repeat certain things, the message between these neurons is transmitted more easily and, before you know it, you’ve reinforced a belief that seems impossible to shake.”

The key is to be conscious in your repetition. And if you find that you do something ‘out of habit’ that is not constructive – wandering thoughts, defaulting to doubt or worry, etc. – then with the skill of awareness, you can catch yourself when this habit begins to do what it typically would do and stop it before the repetition continues. In fact, this is when you can introduce the new thought. And while that new thought or habit you are trying to install will require conscious effort for some time, just know that your previous pattern didn’t just happen immediately. It took time. So be patient with yourself because you can eliminate the unhelpful habit and replace it with something far more healthy.

“Repetition is the most important aspect of creating new pathways for habits, behaviours and thought patterns.”

A helpful habit to keep the repetition going is to set intentions, something we’ve talked about on the blog. Rather than having expectations, set intentions for how you would like to engage with the day, the week, the moment. If your intention is paired with a reminder to partake in your new skill you are trying to habituate, this pairing will gradually bring about the change you seek.

5. Break the unhelpful cycles

An entire chapter is dedicated to all of the unhelpful habits and cycles we likely have accepted as “normal” and unavoidable, but in truth they can be left behind. Beginning with understanding stress – that there is good stress and when it turns into bad stress, something we talked about in detail in episode #299, How to Live with Less Stress and Understanding Why (some) Stress is Vital for Good Health, when we become aware of stress and managing it well when it steps over the line into the unhealthy category, we are putting tools into our toolbox and beginning to retrain our mind in the process.

6. Recognize and Let Go of the Negativity Bias

If we leave our mind unchecked, it will naturally lean into the negative sphere of doubt, worry, fear and worst-case scenarios. This is the Lizard brain at its most fundamental. But once we realize this is the default our brain was born with, and we pair that knowledge with awareness that the brain can change, we can get about the business of rewiring our neurons. Wahoo! Such awesome news. 🙂

How do we do this?

Instead of asking someone the common general question, “How are you? or How are things going?”, be more specific, “What is going well for you? What was your favorite part of the holiday weekend?” In other words, when we put into practice looking for and celebrating the good that has happened, we are more likely to realize so much good is happening. This is a habit. This will change the energy of your day, and thus your life.

I know things won’t always go as we would hope, but when we train our mind to reframe more constructively, we stop creating problems within our relationships that weren’t there, and we instead begin to live a more calm existence. The simple way to start shifting away from the negative thought patterns is to stop reacting to experiences that in the past would have triggered a negative thought or action. The unwanted event may have happened, but you are not going to do anything. Instead, simply breathe deeply for two minutes (we talk about this deep breathing technique that helps to calm the Vagus nerve in episode #336 – How to Live a Life that Nourishes Your Brain). The more space you put between the unwanted event and your actions, you begin to retrain the mind. Why? “Neurons that fail to sync, fail to link.” Vignola goes on to explain, “If you get triggered by something, and you leave enough time between the stimulus and the response, eventually those thoughts or neurons will no longer trigger one another and you won’t react with an immediate [unwanted/unhelpful reaction].”

7. Never forget the power of your word choice

Words may not be actions, but without words, we wouldn’t have thoughts that eventually lead to actions.

“Our words shape the way we think, and the way we think shapes how we feel; how we feel determines what we do, and what we do determines our belief. The words we use can have a downstream consequence that may seem minute when spoken, yet they trickle down into the core of our very being.”

And we’re not just talking about how you think or speak about others and the world, but yourself as well. If you are constantly self-critical, if you don’t sincerely believe in your awesomeness, then eventually, those thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies, and the sad part about this is you had complete control over this cycle either towards or away from success. It all began with the words you said about yourself to yourself.

Another example I have found in my own life is the words I use to talk to people and my pups. Extending gratitude to friends, neighbors, strangers for acts of kindness. As it pertains to my pups, praising them for behavior that is expected, but now I don’t take it for granted, and what we pay attention to, repeats itself. This latter example exemplifies on a smaller scale the power of our words to the larger world and to ourselves. What receives our attention and what type of attention or labels we give has great power in manifesting something into being. So the question is, what words are you using in conversation – casually or in professional settings and in your head to yourself? Are those words that will manifest what you want to experience tomorrow?

By being more conscious in our word choice we start to create better thought habits in our mind and that creates a powerful shift in what is possible.

8. Understand the power of your subconscious

The majority of our brain operates on the subconscious level which is actually “a positive thing because if you had to pay attention to every single thing you did all the time, you would be exhausted . . . nearly all your thoughts, actions and decisions are conducted in different regions of your brain on a subconscious level. Actions and thoughts that you have repeated many times are now automatic. Your brain is constantly making decisions for you on a subconscious level, cross-referencing previous experiences to decide the best course of action.” So how do we program our subconscious to be the Oxford Library of our dreams rather than the dustbin of destroyed books? I exaggerate, but the contrast is important to understand because what we feed our brain consciously or unconsciously is filed away and might just be drawn upon at some future point.

(1)Start by auditing what you consume informationally on a daily basis. From our smart phones to television, to what we read and the news we surround ourselves with. We have control over how much and which types of information we absorb; (2) Understand the power of visualization. Athletes have been harnessing the power of visualization for decades, more knowingly and now backed by science in recent years. But the science does confirm that what we mentally rehearse influences our physical habits. “If you’ve already imagined executing something, then it will be easier to execute it later.” Keep in mind, visualization has to be combined with real-world experience. In other words, you know what you are going to do tomorrow – a new habit will commence – and you visualize yourself doing that. Then, when tomorrow comes you actually do it, so you have the muscle memory of having physically done the task. You keep visualizing, keep physically practicing and eventually, this becomes a new habit that doesn’t require any forethought and just happens when the same stimuli (an alarm clock, etc.) are experienced.

9. The necessity of discipline temporarily

Until your new skill became habituated, you will need more energy to stay dedicated to rewiring the brain. Vignola warns that “Motivation can wane over time, but discipline is what keeps you going. People often place too much emphasis on motivation and usually give up when it disappears. Acknowledging that it will disappear at some stage gives us the power to focus on more discipline and consistency.”

Discipline is the coach that keeps you going when you want to sit it out or stop all together. Discipline is a good night of sleep that gives you the extra energy you are going to need to consciously force yourself to get out of bed a bit earlier to take that exercise class. This extent of discipline is not going to be needed forever, but we must utilize it to break through the barrier and create the new neuro pathway that didn’t exist. You are effectively creating a new road in your mind for your neurons to connect, and as we know with road construction projects, they take time, but my goodness, when they are complete, the commute is so much smoother and more enjoyable. Stick with the detour that is harnessing your discipline until that new rewired path is complete. You will be glad you did.

10. Exercise is Gold

“Research shows that regular physical activity is associated with a significant increase in grey mater volume, particularly in the hippocampus, the region of the brain related to memory and learning, and the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive function, decision-making and cognitive control.”

To go back to the difference between hardware and software, Vignola teaches that our brain health is the hardware, and our mental health is the software. So if we are trying to improve our mental health, having an optimal hardware system gives us the best chance to improve to our fullest capability. And a significant way to ensure a healthy brain is to regularly exercise and making sure you are exerting yourself to at least a Zone 2, which is described as moderate intensity and doing so for 150 minutes a week.

There are oodles of benefits to our brain when we exercise, from the release of dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin, the feel-good neurotransmitters which support our mental health to endorphins being released which is a natural pain-killer, to natural stress-reduction, increased blood flow to the brain which enables the delivery of nutrients to neurons which they need in order to fire together optimally which promotes more neuroplasticity to help us improve our memory and learning and lastly, the physical benefits that require the brain and the body to communicate to help us retain our balance, agility, coordination and more. Phew! In other words, if you don’t have a regular vigorous exercise routine, establishing one ASAP is your first homework assignment. 🙂

At the core of the book Rewire is the message that if you want to change your brain, your thoughts, your beliefs, your attitude, and thus your capabilities, you absolutely can. Reclaim the power that has always been within by shifting your mental habits to start believing in yourself and what is possible. It will take time, but with persistence, patience and repetition, your thoughts will change because you’re changing the words you choose and thus your actions and opportunities will change.

Vignola’s final thoughts to her readers encourages forgiveness. Forgiveness to ourselves and “to those who unknowingly or unintentionally programmed us”. She goes on to say, “Forgiveness grants us the peace and freedom needed to pursue our potential unburdened by the weight of past beliefs, empowering us to shape a brighter future. Without forgiveness we run the risk of becoming the people who hurt us.”

I want to leave you with one more thought and it is something we talk about with regularity here on the podcast and the blog: “Everything you’ve been through has prepared you for this.” In other words, everything has happened to help you if you choose to see it this way. To see it any other way is a drain on your finite energy and hinders the progress you say you wish to make toward change. By the simple fact that was shared at the top of this post in #3 about the malleability of the brain and how new neurons can wire together, “you are capable of anything”. What change do you wish to make? You’ve got this.

SIMILAR POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY

How to Live a Life That Nourishes Your Brain, Thereby Elevating the Quality of Your Entire Life, episode #336

How to Change Your Brain, So Your Mind (and thus you!) Can Thrive! episode #327

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