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Petites Pensées Lundi
A new addition to TSLL's regular postings, available to all readers, non and Basic and TOP Tier members. Enjoy the Petites Pensées Lundi post each and every Monday as you begin the week, a shorter post replacing the Monday Motivational post, as I dive into completing TSLL's 4th book. This post, sharing thoughts to ponder, or as I am choosing to title them, Petites Pensées, 'small thoughts', while not small in depth of content, but rather small in length - no more than 1-3 paragraphs, with an introduction sharing from where the post was written or conceptualized wherever in the world I might find myself to offer a glimpse into one of the numerous and unique ways to live a life of contentment.
“The way your life starts doesn’t have to be the story of your life. You get to choose.” —Ina Garten, upon describing the journey of writing her soon-to-be released memoir Be Ready When the Luck Happens
The Setting:
- Lieu: (place of idea inception) A winding boardwalk trail amongst the pines under a clear blue sky in the early morning on the first day of autumn. (whilst writing) Garden porch and the butterflies dance amongst the roses and say hello to the nasturtiums.
- Thé: (upon arriving home) Palais des Thés’ Montagne Bleue
- Des sons: The chipmunks chatter as Norman and Nelle take their walk, and Nelle’s fascination as they scamper over the trail and up and around the trees prompts endless hide-and-seek exercise and the soundtrack of the awakening forest creatures greeting the new season.
The limits of what our life might be, or could be, often begin to be cemented during times when we are impressionable or insecure. This would include when we are young but also when we are navigating through a life change or stepping into a new life chapter or have faced a setback or rejection whilst bravely being vulnerable in an effort to live our values and honor our true self. Even if what has been modeled around us during this time or what is praised by the culture or the family unit we find ourselves doesn’t sing for us, we might incorrectly presume such a way of life is all that is possible, and thus that we should refrain from stepping outside of the ‘box’ that is presented. However, nothing becomes concrete until our last breath on this beautiful amazing planet Earth. Hold on to that awesome good news and find strength, gather up your courage and begin to design a life you love living each and every day.
Musician and composer Ashley Henry reminds us that “the world can trick us in to thinking life is limited”, but in reality, it is us who limit ourselves, believing, or disbelieving as the case may be, what is possible as we choose to make the decisions that shape and determine the quality of our lives.
From the family unit you feel most at peace amongst, the career you immerse yourself in that gives you purpose, the choice to be a learner to gain endless knowledge or instead cling to beliefs and thus living in ignorance, whether we feel our choices are limited or the choices available appear endless, when we step into the middle ground realizing that we are the deciders, we recognize the power of each choice. Then we would be wise to become the driver and designer of our one and only life. By embracing the opportunity to be the designer, we then are seizing the opportunity to alter the trajectory and thus the landscape of our life, and as a result changing how the story unfolds and what the journey and scene details will be if where we began or where we were headed doesn’t nourish us or at the very least leave us excited to wake up in the morning to give what we uniquely can to the world.
SIMILAR POSTS TO FURTHER EXPLORATION
Wow! This post came at just the right time for me. I’m a 47 year old single mom. My husband passed away unexpectedly. My daughter is in 10th grade. This loss was very difficult for her and I both. We live on the property of my parents home in a small cottage. I am thankful to my parents for being there for us. That brings us to the present…..I have met a wonderful man and he and I would like to have a life together, in another state from where we live now. My mom is not happy with this decision and is making it very difficult for me and in turn my daughter is now also giving me a hard time. The mom guilt is real. I know my mom loves us and that this is really hard for her but it’s making me feel such guilt and sadness. I haven’t moved forward or done anything because of this fear and guilt of hurting them, even though I really believe it’s what’s best. I
You post today is really giving me pause to think about my path and what I need to do. I don’t want to be selfish and hurt my daughter but our life is so short…..what to do….
I’m sorry for your loss. Is there a counselor or psychologist to help you navigate these turbulent waters? It can be very helpful to step into your truth.
Take care.
Jen,
A lovely suggestion. Thank you. 🙂
Jennifer B.,
An idea to consider regarding seeing a counselor, if you don’t feel comfortable seeing someone in your town, for example if it is a small town and you want some anonymity and an objective perspective, you might want to explore one of the online therapy sites. I recommend BetterHelp.com – I choice to partner with them as a sponsor for the podcast for over a year and found the quality of counselors available and how you can connect with them to be worth exploring. Just a bit more food for thought. 🙂
Jennifer,
Please accept my condolences on the passing of your husband. Losing both a husband and a father to your teenage daughter during this pivotal point in her life is more difficulty than I think anyone can imagine unless they have personally been through it. Sending my love to you and your daughter. The grieving process is unique for each of us based on a variety of circumstances as well as the person we are when the loss occurs and the skills and support we have available to us. It can be understandable to want (to feel it is a need!) to fill the void where love was with love, not that that new love is not true, but because we ache so badly.
Having been a high school teacher and having taught the age your daughter is as well as junior year, I can say from my observation of more than 3000 kids that high school, especially for girls at this age, but boys as well for their own journey, benefit immensely by stability both at home and socially, so the social circle, if healthy, is powerful, and knowing your child has a strong leaping start into her next chapter whether it be college, technical school or travel, is a priceless gift you can never go back and redo.
If the new love is real, they will honor your need to love your daughter well at this powerful point in her life, and during that time you no doubt will learn a lot about one another and understand what you value and whether the relationship is grounded in respect for your unique journey. Both long term and short term in such situations play a role in considering what is best, and taking it slow may be the wisest decision until you know not only for yourself, but that your daughter’s journey is healthy and strong for her forward path before she dives into her adulthood.
Sending you all love and thank you for your courage to share a glimpse into your life journey. xo
Shannon,
This is very good advice.
As I mentioned, my mother died when I was 20 and my stepfather found someone to fill the void.
We three children were left to our own devices and although I was a young adult, I was in no way equipped to take on the challenges that came my way without any support.
Things turned out alright considering I had no higher education or real trade, but not so much for my brother and sister who did not make the best life choices.
My sincerest condolences, Jennifer.
Just a suggestion. Whilst your seeking therapy (a great idea from our fellow TSLL members), you may want to consider allowing your daughter to speak to someone as well (if she is interested). I lost my mother at age 20 and my stepfather found another relationship shortly after. Although we wanted him to be happy, it did not make things easier nor did his choice in women. My siblings and I all agree it would have helped us tremendously to have had someone to help us navigate that terrible time.
(((HUGS)))
~Michelle
Thank you for sharing your experience Michelle. 🙂 xoxo
Hi, Jennifer!
I am so very sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my husband unexpectedly in 2022. I am now 46. I have found that the Universe is always speaking to me as long as I am still and listen. One can ask for signs and as long as one is open and receptive, one will find them…probably Shannon’s initial post was a sign for you. I find the suggestions from others very heartwarming. Listen to your inner knowing as our higher selves always know the right way. Like Shannon, I, too, was a high school teacher for 20 years and I love her thoughts on what your daughter and other young people might experience. Best wishes on your journey.
Shannon, the Mary Oliver poem “Wild Geese” comes to mind with this beautiful post.
Jennifer,
How serendipitous that you would mention this! I just saw that poem (and Mary reading it) this morning! Yes, that is true – there are definitely overlaps and parallels. Such a beautiful poem and timeless for a reason. 🙂
I was introduced to that poem earlier this year and appreciate you mentioning it. Time for a reread! Thank you!
What a lovely poem.
Love this new weekly post and the format! And Monday will surely appreciate the positive attention. That poor weekday has such an undeserved bad reputation 🙂
Martina,
Agreed! To that last point you shared. 🙂 I so love Mondays and I know that isn’t the common refrain, but whatever we can do to make them all the more to look forward to the better. I am tickled to be able to add a little something from TSLL to help the effort. 🙂
I have enjoyed these posts, Shannon.
I especially like “The Setting”.
~Michelle