«Pour être heureux, il faut ignorer deux choses: la vie des autres et l’avis des autres.»

“To be happy, you must ignore two things: the life of others and the opinion of others.”

The commercial world thrives on competition, comparison, anything that involves demonstrating what is enough and what is not, and in so doing, tries to motivate us to do something outside of ourselves to meet the arbitrary benchmark of a successful outcome.

Quite frankly, that is an exhausting way to live. And often expensive, or at least diverts your finite resources away from what will actually be fulfilling for your unique life journey.

The idiom “keeping up with the Jones” is not just an American phrase denoting the incessant unconscious prodding we accept to keep up with those around us, it’s a British one too, and I venture to guess there is something similar in most cultures that in some form or another involve competition in some aspect to maintain a living or lifestyle that is preferred. It’s common because it’s human nature to notice what others are doing.

But just because we notice doesn’t mean that we have to let it affect our life choices. This is where mastering our mind comes into play, and it makes all the difference in whether we let our focus be guided by others’ or guided by ourselves.

The opportunity to compare how to live our lives is everywhere. Comparisons for how to decorate one’s front porch, landscape the exterior, what car to drive, what outdoor sporting activities to purchase ‘toys’ for (at least for folks here in Bend, Oregon), what clothes to wear, the everyday list of things we observe is endless. Everywhere we turn – in a small neighborhood or a vast urban landscape – is the chance to compare or compete. This is constant, even without looking at our social media feeds. Thinking about the vast number of chances to compare can overwhelm us if we let it, but if we remember that the abiding peace for how to live our lives resides within us, then we can appreciate what we see without worrying that we whether or not we are keeping up according to the zeitgeist . . . because it doesn’t matter.

We can appreciate because we have a different steering wheel – our inner compass. We aren’t turning left, right or reversing because an outside source of any kind says it is best. Nope. We check in with our compass when something catches our eye or attention, and after a while, we no longer have to because we’ve found our mode of travel and direction. In other words, the life that brings us to life and the intentions that nourish that life into existence.

The simple choice we make each and everyday is choosing not to compete and not to compare.

When we choose to observe instead of be influenced, we stand both firmly but also with an open mind. The groundedness is in our knowing that we have the skills to navigate the changes and opportunities that will cross our path. But, in order to see those opportunities that will be the open doors, even petite windows we are looking for, we have to engage with the world. We have to hold our mind open. It’s an ongoing practice in actively balancing both.

I chose this photo of Nelle for today’s post because in many ways she embodies both qualities – being grounded on solid rock while also standing tall and looking up and around. We can do this too, and it is what makes life exhilarating. We give ourselves the trust that we can remain balanced by choosing to learn the skills that are needed and tapping into our unique strengths (i.e. often described as gifts), and then prioritizing that curiosity is a worthwhile guide to heed as we actively engage in the present moment to discover what it will reveal and honoring how we respond to it.

Here’s to starting the new week, and the new month, on a wise and open-minded foot. Bonne journée.

~Learn more about TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass where you can learn the skills to master your mind along with many other life elevating tools to ground yourself in clarity while giving yourself the courage to soar.

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