That dream life that won’t leave your mind. It keeps dancing about at the forefront of your thoughts, seemingly doing so without any encouragement . . . And this dream has been doing this for years.

Why should we trust that this dream can be trusted? Maybe your dream is to be in a vocation you’ve never known anyone personally who did so. Maybe your dream goes against all logic that has been drilled into you growing up. Or maybe, your dream defies the norm of the culture you currently live in, whether in large or small ways. Whatever your dream, if it is still a dream yet unrealized, yet it returns again and again and grabs your attention, it is trying to get you to explore how to bring it to being because it is aligning with something that will bring you peace.

Over the past 17 years of writing here on TSLL blog, I have shared various dreams that have been realized. Each of them remained a dream for quite a while, but because they wouldn’t leave me alone (thank you for your persistence), I trusted something I couldn’t understand at the time – truths about myself yet unawoken at the time, yet waiting to be given the chance to be part of my life.

Each dream that I eventually realized – moving to Bend, Oregon (it took two genuine attempts to make it happen before it did, following years, over a decade of dreaming), speaking French, buying a cottage, becoming a full-time writer and being my own boss – took time, but when each came to fruition, a piece of me finally began to flourish and peace flooded my days in ways I had not previously known.

I share this reflection because from time to time I have to remind myself to trust the dreams that arise in my mind. And it is those dreams that will not leave, their tenacity a reassuring reminder that I can trust what they are trying to nudge me to do.

Such vivid ideas aren’t random, and they aren’t occurring to everyone. They are yours, and they are trying to get your attention for a reason.

Okay, so you have pinpointed the dream that keeps returning to your conscious mind or will not leave your mind. Let’s take a look at the six steps to embrace, and in doing so, will lead you to realizing your dream, experiencing it as your new reality.

1. Assess how you feel when the dream arises and you are envisioning experiencing it

To give yourself confidence that indeed this is a worthwhile endeavor, assess how you feel when you imagine yourself living this dream. Author and life coach Martha Beck explains how she navigates her own life journey and decides which direction to journey along. If a feeling of complete peace washes over her, then she confidently moves in that direction. “In my life,” she says, “I have found that the sense of being pulled by my heart and soul is a kind of yearning mixed with peace—and trust that I’m meant to have what I deeply desire.”

If, when you think about this dream, the corners of your mouth spontaneously rise, take this as a surefire sign you should step toward realizing it.

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2. Understand your hesitancy and where it originates

“Because your dreams scare your ego. There could be missteps, risks, discomfort, and strangers involved. The ego doesn’t want you to venture into the unknown, and all adventures require moving into the unfamiliar.” —Terri Kozlowski

To feel fear is natural and to be expected whenever we consider doing something new or different, and especially if it is something we ache to realize. As shared above in the quote, when we understand the motivations of our ego, we can then put it in its place. Our ego is not going to be our friend during times of chosen change. It prefers what it knows.

Aside from fear to change your life, maybe your are hesitant because it will change your relationships, or those around you will see their life affected. Again, the question must be, what brings you peace, and are you at peace now in how you are living? Only you can know those answers, but at the core of real love is wanting those they love to realize their dreams. They may not be able to experience our dreams with us, but love is letting go and delighting in the peace those we love have found. And who knows, your courage to pursue your dream may inspire someone else, possibly someone you love, to do the same for themselves.

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3. Consciously harness your mindset for success

What we tell ourselves, our subconscious believes as reality. Knowing this, we must become conscious of our thoughts, our mindset, and how we speak to ourselves about realizing our dream. In other words, if we tell ourselves we cannot possibly do [insert the dream that will not leave you alone], then our subconscious mind accepts this as true and will not help us achieve it. Conversely, if you begin to either repeat affirmations or shift your mindset to believe that indeed, someday you will realize this dream, it is possible and is only a matter of time, then your subconscious accepts this as true already and holds your mind open to see opportunities and keep you moving forward toward it instead of getting in your way and thwarting any progress.

To dive a bit deeper into removing limiting beliefs, take a moment to write down all of the fears you have and why you think they are the obstacle to your dream becoming reality. Look at each of the items on your list; next to each one, write down the belief you hold that has caused you to accept this as a truth.

For example:

• I can’t buy my own home because it is too much responsibility for one person.
  • Limiting belief: You are incapable of handling the responsibilities. (This is false. You may have never had to tend to some or all of these responsibilities before, but you can learn. And if you don’t know how at first, you can reach out to those who have done so.)
  • Limiting belief: Each home involves the same responsibilities. (This is false. Each home is different in what is required for upkeep, utilities, maintenance, mortgage, fees, taxes, etc.)
• I can’t travel to my favorite country and enjoy a long vacation. (Let’s take France). I can’t stay for more than a couple of weeks.
  • Limited belief: The paperwork to stay a long time is cumbersome. (This is false. First, you can stay in France without any type of Visa for up to 90 days in an 180-day window. Simply buy a ticket and locate and reserve your accommodations. Now go to France and enjoy your holiday!)

These two are examples, but the reality is that we often present beliefs of why it will be difficult or impossible to achieve our dream that aren’t accurate, but we’ve accepted a belief, usually a vague idea and haven’t investigated further.

Once you have your list, go through each limiting belief one by one and look at it logically, do your homework, gather up the facts. This may take time as you may need to seek out experts or individuals with experience in doing what you’d like to do, but once you have more information, the fear and hesitancy begin to subside almost instantly.

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4. Create a clear action plan

Depending upon our dream, we may have more or fewer variables outside of our control that will affect our timeline. Either way, we are still driving our dreams forward to reality, and we can write down the must-have completed tasks. Once we write those down, put them in order and then put them on your calendar.

I like to put my large outcome at the top of a piece of paper, then list all of the necessary tasks that must be completed before the end result can occur. For example, in bringing each of my books to publication, I made a list of what I had to do, what work I had to source out, and this was put in an order so that I could easily just go through and check it off one by one, making sure I finished what I needed before I moved forward to the next task.

While I appreciate the SMART goals approach, the approach I prefer and have found to work better for me is something that was explored in the book The Artist’s Joy by Merideth Hite Estevez, her CRAFT method.

In her book The Joy of an Artist, Estevez teaches her new acronym for goal achievement:

• Create process, not product
• Recruit the help we need
• Align work with our values
• Frame the work with constraints that enable
• Twist and turn, but keep stepping forward

What her approach acknowledges is that we have to create room to wiggle, to dance with unforeseen opportunities and to hold our mind open. We still have a framework created by our clarity of what our dream is, but we focus more on how we journey toward it, and less on when we will arrive concretely. We trust that we will arrive because we consciously are stepping forward, even if we have to take a smaller step tomorrow than we had hoped.

With this approach, I have found that the end result is more enriching, nourishing, and peace-filled than my original vision would have allowed.

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5. Nurture yourself each day along the way

Surround yourself with uplifting, inspiring people, content to read and listen to that strengthen your confidence in your choice, and spend time in environments that lift your energy. Be conscious of how you feel at the end of the day, and seek balance by honoring when you need to do less and rest, and by choosing the times of day you feel energized to engage in productive action.

Check in with your dream regularly. Put something up on a frequently seen bulletin board, wall, or mirror that reminds you of what you are working toward and, in seeing it, sustains and ignites your being to keep believing in yourself.

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6. Understand that challenges will occur, but they are happening to fortify something you need to successfully arrive and experience your dream for many years to come

Once we have adopted the mindset of abundance or a growth mindset, we also have accepted the idea that just because an unwanted setback occurs, or a delay, or anything we hadn’t planned on, doesn’t mean we are destined to for the dream to remain as such.

Whenever I have clarity about something regarding a dream I am moving toward, I am laser-focused, so instinctively my Lizard mind (if I don’t keep my mind in check) becomes perturbed by delays. However, once I realize what is actually happening – I am perturbed because I know where I want to go and how to get there – then, I check myself and pause to extend gratitude for having this knowledge that wasn’t always within me.

When we recall the times before we set out on achieving our dream when we didn’t know what we were looking for or didn’t know what would make us feel at peace or energize us, our appreciation deepens because just in knowing we have come a tremendously long distance.

And I’ll continue on in my example about becoming perturbed by delays. We also don’t know when that delay will suddenly resolve itself. But if we stop or turn back, we’ll never know. Sometimes the delays happen to see if we really want to continue along toward where we are heading. And in other instances, they happen to teach us something we still have yet to understand which would be immensely valuable to ensuring we not only arrive at our dream, but thrive when we do.

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Dreams take time. The worthwhile dreams nearly always will. But with the clarity of intention and giving our attention (i.e., time, energy) to the direction we set our sails, we will eventually see the shores of our desired port of landing. Hold in your mind these six steps, check in to remind yourself that you are doing far better as you journey than you may realize whenever you have doubts, and I am confident (and cheering you on from afar) that you will arrive. (Psst, feel free to email me when you do and share the good news! ☺️)

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