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“Transformation is natural as you travel the road to greater self-awareness, happiness, and peace.” —Yung Pueblo
The winding trail full of lush foliage and tall, towering trees obscures the nearing clearing that sits just around the bend. The fog that nestles itself into the valley’s crevices limiting visibility until in the blink of an eye, we emerge to blue sky and mile-long vantage abilities.
Often we may feel as though we are stuck in that ‘soup’ of fog or endless winding turns, not making any progress at all toward are intended goal, but in reality, so long as we keep going, we eventually realize we were making progress even if we couldn’t identify it at the time.
What I would like to help you with today is being able to identify progress during those time of still being on the road toward where you want to eventually arrive. Unless we have been on the same route before, toward the same outcome before, trying to learn and then apply the same skills for the first time, we cannot recognize our own growth, thus unable to recognize progress. And while each of our paths will be unique to us individually, there are some similar everyday signs of progression I would like to point out to assure you to keep going because you are changing in the most wonderful and helpful of ways toward being able to realize your dream.
Let’s take a look at them.
1. You genuinely enjoy waking up in the morning, even looking forward to it
“Along the journey of the hoped for outcome, it is the living [versus waiting] that stirs the soil of possibilities and invites opportunities to cross our path.” —Shannon Ables, episode #375 – How to Become a More Skilled Participant in Living Our Life
By consciously designing and living an everyday life that you love, you ensure that you will be present in your days. By creating simple rituals to fill your days, you enhance the quality of your days, especially the everydays – the Monday through Fridays and then of course the weekends as well. The point is that you have made conscious choices due to your awareness and self-knowledge of how to nourish what you value and nourish your true self and what you need. your efforts reveal their accruing value as you begin to sincerely enjoy waking up each day, and not needing a ‘big’ event to look forward to, or needing it to be a ‘day off’.
What you have put into motion – being fully present and savoring your everydays – is an invitation for magic to cross your path. Now you will be able to witness it when it occurs. The reality is that it isn’t magic, but it will feel as though it is because prior to living your life of savoring the everydays, you were surviving and trying to do what you thought you had to do or adopt the same attitude as the culture with the loudest voice (for example, Monday’s aren’t fun.) Truthfully, magic moments were happening all around you previously, but you didn’t have the skills yet to recognize them, let alone know what to do with them, or appreciate them. But now you do. Wahoo! You gave this ability to yourself. You chose to learn the skills to do this. It took work, effort and time. But what an amazing gift you gave yourself. Keep savoring your everydays – one of the most significant ingredients to progressing well in the direction of your intention.
2. You feel challenged and humbled, simultaneously filled with uncertainty ‘Will I ever learn this?!’, when choosing to learn something new
“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.” – Benjamin Franklin
You’ve identified areas in your life you want to improve, learn more about or how to do. You acknowledge that you don’t know something, but are wise enough to acknowledge, knowing this skill will enhance the quality of the life you want to live.
As you begin the learning journey, even if the first few steps were simple, you eventually hit a wall of confusion, doubt and/or frustration because you are having to learn things you have either never done before or now have to use different ‘muscles’ that while are within your being, are not well exercised. Your ego is angry, but because your awareness muscle is strong, you recognize that the ego will naturally become stubborn in such a situation. You quickly ignore it and choose to continue to move through the learning journey. It is all part of acquiring what you didn’t know how to do before, but what is possible to attain so long as you continue forward.
3. A problem doesn’t need to be solved, a worry doesn’t enter the mind each day
“Progress is when stress stops being your default.” —Yung Pueblo
Our Lizard mind will look for a problem in every corner almost immediately after the previous problem or crisis has been fixed. It is always looking out for ‘problems’, as a way of being alert – of what it thinks it needs to help us do – survive.
Once we understand this default of the Lizard mind, we recognize it when it arises, and after finding contentment, we permit ourself to enjoy our days. We don’t continue to make decisions that will cause stress – for example regarding money or relationships – we approach life more wisely, acknowledging that we may have made prior choices that caused the stressed, so we now choose differently.
Because we are at peace within ourself and the journey we have chosen, we can be still, we can just be, and know that this is a vital piece of balance, an example of residing in a quiet confidence about the life we are living.
4. You’ve stopped blaming, grousing, and complaining and instead shift your energy and focus to constructive areas
“You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.” – Shonda Rhimes
A reactive default that hinders our ability to live a life of contentment is to blame, complain or grouse about anything that isn’t going as we would prefer it to be going. Not only is this wasted energy, but it points our focus in the wrong direction for cultivating what we indirectly are saying we want as we complain, blame or grouse.
Once we become able to let go and no longer linger in frustration with others or the world when things don’t go our way, or aren’t done the way we would prefer, we find more energy, we find more peace and we discover more progress along our own journey toward the intention we have set our sails.
5. You now recognize when your mind starts to spiral or meander down an unhelpful path
“The mind is everything. What you think, you become.” —Buddha
Mindfulness refers to simply paying attention in the present moment, and it involves both paying attention to the world around us, but also to our own mind. As was shared in this readers’ favorite post a couple of years ago about taming the overthinking mind “by understanding why the mind presents intrusive thoughts, why it busys itself with worry and practicing the mind strengthening tools and habits, [we can] bring it back into our control to put it to constructive use.”
While it may be seem that we are backpedaling as we become more aware of our mind’s patterns, and begin to witness how many times it thinks negatively, worries, etc., in fact, this is a very positive sign. Why? Because now, for the first time, we are noting what the mind does, and we have the ability to now (through the help of the skill of meditation which will strengthen this muscle) step back from those worries, from spiraling down that rabbit hole, and hold ourself in the present. Using our breathing strategies, we no longer give the Lizard mind the wheel, but take it back and place it in the present moment – not the past, not the future.
6. You have clarity about why you are heading in the direction you have chosen, and that feels you with peace
“If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.” – Barack Obama
You may not be even close to where you are intending to eventually arrive, but you have done your homework, you have sat with yourself and know that where you are going, what you are doing – the small, yet assuredly helpful steps – are carrying you in the direction that you want to go. Now, you let go, continue along, exercising mindfulness which behaves much like a guardrail to keep you on track, not letting you get distracted and helping you navigate the unwanted moments with measured responsiveness rather than reactive choices that will slow down your progress or deter you.
It has been my experience that whenever I find myself pondering whether or not I am making progress, I often will pull out my journal and write down what has brought me to the point I find myself. I will then clarify my direction, and finally list out what is going well. My focus remains on the constructive. During especially difficult moments, now knowing that they will pass, but no less not necessarily enjoying going through them, I will write out what I am being given, what lessons I am learning and how they will be helpful moving forward. All of these reveal to me that progress is indeed happening, no matter how small it may seem.
Often mindful and responsive individuals like those of us here in TSLL community may feel at times that regression is happening along our journey, but it is due to seeing with clarity that we see much more than we ever would have prior to our keen awareness, both of ourself and the world around us. Hang in their dear hearts and kindred kind souls. You are progressing well and far more than you may have realized.
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~Learn more about TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass here.
