5: Confidence: How to Gain It & Why It’s Invaluable

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~The Simple Sophisticate podcast – Episode #5

First of all, what exactly is confidence? Those who exude confidence seem to have this energy or this air about them that people are drawn to. Such people are neither arrogant nor do they have low self-esteem or appear to be insecure about themselves. Sometimes putting our finger on those ingredients that make up a person who has confidence can be difficult, but ultimately, a person with confidence is someone who has a sense of assuredness, a sense of knowledge, and an appropriate understanding of the situation at which you encounter them. As defined in the dictionary, a person with confidence is “someone with whom you have a firm trust”.

Similarly, the book The Confidence Code states the definition of confidence as “the alignment of one’s skills with the task at hand.” And I think this is an important point to recognize. Being confident doesn’t mean you have to be confident with all aspects of your life. Based on your skill set, your experience and your natural abilities, certain tasks and expectations may be easier to perform. However, even though we may not be an expert in everything we attempt, we can still have a certain level of confidence at all times. So it is vitally important that we have confidence about who we are and what we can do – controlling our mind and our behaviors – both necessary components to building a healthy self-confidence.

5 Ways to Exude More Confidence

1. Know Your Style

Did you know that 55% of someone’s first impression of you is your visual presentation? Which leaves 38% being based on how you speak, and 7% being based on what you say. So whether we are thrilled about this fact or not, the knowledge we can exercise to accentuate our strengths and camouflage what we’d rather not spotlight, can go a long way to helping us acquire the confidence we seek. Now, one’s visual presentation also includes how we stand (good posture), our mannerisms (smiling, frowning, etc), hair, accessories and overall appearance. And so long as we incorporate our authentic style, share our sincere personality, we are more likely to feel comfortable. And when we are comfortable in our own skin, confidence is automatically shared with those we interact with.

2. Get to Know Yourself

Upon getting to know yourself, you will also be able to discern what your style is, so #2 & #1 work in tandem with each other. After all, when you know that the path you are on is the path you want and should be on based on your goals, priorities and values, it’s easier to involve yourself in conversations regardless of what their values are because you can listen without judgment.

3. Face Your Fears

When we attempt something we don’t think we can do and eventually do conquer this fear, we have a shot of confidence that is through the roof. Once we have experienced this feeling of initially thinking something was impossible, but then conquering it, this knowledge is stored for future instances in which we may at first doubt ourselves. Because once we remind ourselves of accomplishments in our past, we are in a sense fired up and able to squash the fears a bit easier as we proceed forward.

4. Take Care of Yourself

From the food you eat, to your regular exercise schedule, as well as the pampering you regularly schedule into your calendar, these are all necessary practices that help you to be at your best self. Guilt should not be even considered as you take a little time each day or a lot each weekend to rejuvenate, rest and begin anew with fresh legs the next day.

5. Take Action

Some people would say “Fake it until you make it”, but as Katty Kay and Claire Shipman point out in the The Confidence Code, confidence is an authentic action, so “faking it” isn’t what should be advised in order to acquire it. Instead, simply take action. Move forward. You will figure it out as you go, and the mistakes you make along the way will be invaluable. And once you gain experience due to taking action, your confidence will gradually, yet steadily rise. So long as you are taking action and doing your absolute best at that moment, that’s all you can ask for.

The Invaluable Benefits of Confidence

1. Strengthen Relationships

When you have self-confidence, you can create healthy relationships. You are less likely to chose people who are not right for you, and more often than not you will gravitate toward those with a healthy self-confidence themselves.

2. Success at Work

When you begin to exude confidence, you will begin to be trusted by your superiors to be given more responsibilities and potentially be promoted or hired in the field of your choice. With each experience you gain, your knowledge is deepened, and thus you become a valuable asset to your place of work.

3. Increased Peace of Mind

With a healthy self-confidence you have become aware of your strengths. You have begun to speak positively about yourself and control your negative thinking. As you are willing to face your fears, you are less likely to be hindered or held back by them. When you have fewer unnecessary fears, you reduce your anxiety and stress levels which not only brings more serenity into your life but also improves your health.

4. Improve Your Health

When you eliminate the unnecessary stress, you worry less and sleep better which allows you to receive a sound night’s sleep. And as we all know, when we sleep deeply, we wake up refreshed, able to be our best selves the next day. (Click here to discover the many benefits of sleeping.)

5. Greater Life Successes

In order for anything to be achieved in your life, you must take action. In order to gain traction toward your goals, you must take action. In other words, in order to turn a dream into a reality, you have to do something. And in order to do something, you have to have the confidence to move forward to achieve it. It may not be easy to get there, but there’s only one way to gain it.

“Life on confidence is a remarkable thing.” – The Confidence Code

~Book: The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know by Katty Kay & Claire Shipman