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“Following pleasure’s lead, she had a more productive day, completing the tasks she usually yelled at herself to do, ‘only this time, it seemed effortless. I had such a light heart.’ Which makes sense, on reflection, because when you do what you feel like doing, you get to use your desires as fuel for action, rather than constantly diverting energy and attention to overcoming them.” —Oliver Burkeman, Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts
The Setting:
- Lieu: Le Papillon, engaged in rudimentary tasks
- Thé: N/A, water, cool water 🙂
- Des Sons: The wind blowing through the garden, ushering in a soon-to-be rainstorm in town with snow falling in the mountains.
The garage, and specifically the garden potting table located in the garage, received a deep clean and re-organization this past weekend, and it wasn’t on the schedule or ‘to-do’ list to be done. It just happened. The same thing occurred last Sunday afternoon when I gave the house a deep monthly regular clean – again, not on the schedule, but motivated intrinsically and having time, I heeded what my energy prompted me to do, and each completed task gave me back energy as I gazed at a garden space ready for the new season and a home tidy and welcoming, inviting me to relax. How did I gain energy? Because I initiated them with a desire to partake in doing them instead of berating myself that I must do them.
Oliver Burkeman pushes back against the internalized notion we often carry with us and also often don’t question that “from somewhere (your parents, the culture, a religion) disaster might strike if we don’t watch ourself like a hawk. That if we were to cut ourself some slack and follow our own agenda, [this approach] might lead to our being abandoned, or humiliated or overwhelmed by emotions or financially ruined.” He goes on to prove anecdotally that just the opposite actually occurs: We actually treat ourself more decently. “What you generally find, instead, is that you do want to honor your commitments, pay your bills, keep yourself physically healthy and so on — because the person you are, behind all of the screeching and yelling [i.e. being our own self-critic], isn’t a worthless layabout after all.”
When we honor our energy, in other words our needs for rest, as well as following our curiosity, we can also typically anticipate that we will also need to gather up our courage simultaneously because likely our energy’s time schedule will ‘break rules’ we have dutifully followed even if it didn’t align with what our being needed. But when we do so, when we start to live honoring the question, “How would you like to spend your time today?” what we will surprisingly discover is that both the garage will get cleaned, but so too will our passion be fueled because we will honor our curiosity by sitting down and reading that book that caught our attention or tinkering with that new invention that has been dancing around in our mind as possible.
Gradually, with time, as we honor our energy needs regularly, a beautiful change starts to happen. A build-up of energy starts to happen, and not only are you completing your have-tos without worry, but you complete them ahead of time, because along the way, you have – guess what? – discovered your dharma, and you want to make sure you have time to do what you love to do. And when you are doing what you love to do, you start to see yourself come to life in ways you only had hoped might be possible, but now are your daily reality. Yep, you are seeing and experiencing what it feels like to live a life of Contentment. Knowing and then honoring your needs and curiosity as it pertains to discovering your purpose is not indulgent, and the responsibilities that are yours will be completed, but if we refuse to honor where our curiosity leads, that is when we start to drain what can be a renewable source of energy.
By becoming our own best friend rather than our harshest critic, in other words, by extending kindness to ourself, we will be delightfully surprised by what and where our renewed source of self-replenishing energy will lead us.
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Such a powerful post, Shannon! I needed your words more than you can imagine: “knowing and then honoring your needs and curiosity as it pertains to discovering your purpose is NOT INDULGENT” … what a liberating feeling… that’s definitely an empowering , enriching way to start the week! Thank you Shannon for creating PetitesPensées Lundi : they really help set the mood of the week instantly🤩
Laura,
So happy your are enjoying this new weekly regular posting.😌 Sending you love and may the week begin with much inner strength to do what honors your needs. You’ve got this. 💛💛
This is a wonderful message, Shannon! I often think of the line John Candy’s character said in the Mel Brooks classic, Spaceballs, which is “I’m a mog. Half-man, half-dog. I am my own best friend.” It gives me a chuckle and I have been blessed to have become just that, although perhaps, “wog” would be better, half-woman, half-dog…regardless, definitely my own best friend. It took a while to let go of the feelings of “have to” based on societal conditioning, in addition to how some of us were taught to always do, and do it fast, in childhood. The body really does keep the score and transmuting all the pain into light takes time. Definitely counter to our go-go-go society. Thank you for reminding us all how to slow down and savor the journey!
Absolutely adore this concept Mary. ☺️ Thank you for reminding us of how bringing our own best friend to our daily life and being is a must! Thank you for stopping by and here’s to a great week of savoring each day. 😌
Oh, Mary, thank you for remembering the half-man, half-dog comment. How nice it would be to maintain that mindset. I must admit that I have come and gone on that course in life. I know my dog lives her best life, I try to look at the world with the same innocence. Savor this day and many, humor is the key, yes?
It’s not every day that one can aptly quote the classic film! 100% percent, humor is the key, plus faith and love in oneself! Speaking kindly to oneself and trusting in one’s own inner knowing are other important factors. Raising one’s vibration and expanding consciousness will help create a life one wants to live as everything we see in our reality is just a mirror for our inner worlds.
What a lovely way to begin the week, many thanks. I have seen and read the word “dharma” for years, but I don’t really understand it. Would you please explain in your own words? Thank you!
Cannon,
Happy to share a few posts that share specifically what it is, but the simple equation to give an introduction is What you can unique give (and enjoy giving, often this is your passion – something that brings you to life) + what the world needs (a positive contribution that benefits even just one person or many) = Your Dharma
In TSLL’s Meditations book (The Road to Le Papillon) in a September entry this concept of dharma is spoken about and in the Contentment Masterclass I dive deeply into teaching what it is AND how to find yours and to know that it is your dharma.
Also in the hyperlink in this post today (click on dharma), I have linked to a post that shares the 7 ways to maintain your dharma once you have found it.
Here is a post to share a more detailed definition as taught by Jay Shetty – https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/thinklikeamonk9ways/
Let me know if you have any questions. 😌 And thank you for stopping by. May the week start wonderfully!
I finally get it. I felt sure that you could make a common sense explanation and you did.
Merci Beaucoup!
Happy to be able to help Cannon! ☺️
I so love this particular post about following our curiosity. I raised 2 children and always told them that what I admire the most about Julia Child was her gift of CURIOSITY. She never stopped being curious about learning new techniques in the kitchen. I taught them to watch as she stood next to a guest chef, leaning in oh so very close, watching intently, asking questions. She never thought she knew it all. That kind of curiosity keeps us ALIVE and GROWING. I know you love her too, Shannon.
Now, both of my adult children are “artists” in the kitchen. My son just ordered 100 lbs of flour from Italy to practice perfecting pizza crust! He sent me a photo Saturday night. My daughter bakes and sells the most beautiful and delicious decorated sugar cookies and she has 3 small children! Curiosity is alive and life-giving.
Keep bringing us ALL the great ideas you discover.
That’s why I have been a top-tier subscriber since the beginning.
I am committed to being a life long learner and curiosity follower!
Deb,
Thank you for all that you have shared! Your children’s delight as they have carried their curiosity forward into their adult lives is inspiring! And you are most right about Julia Child – ever the curious soul. You’re painting the image of her on her later cooking series with fellow cooks is one of the reasons I adore her as those were the first episodes I saw of her and she was the ever genuine “sous chef” which as inspiring in its own right! Thank you so much for your comment and kind words about TSLL. Grateful for your long-time interest and support! 🙂
I too enjoy this new series Shannon. To harness my energy when big projects loom is often a bit of a challenge. Even now, I need training wheels! Thanks for this little window into the dharma mindset.
Happy to share Lucy! Thank you for stopping by and so glad you are back! ☺️
Dear Shannon, I needed that on a busy Monday morning. Sometimes, it’s difficult to lean in and listen to what our body is telling us.I feel I have got better at this as I have got older as I realise that I can always do something at another time if I don’t have the energy. Thank you for sharing.
Happy to help in any way – large or small. 🙂 Your walks that you have shared recently with Hamish have been stunning in their fall foliage! Thank you for sharing the photos. ☺️
I needed this post. Adding it to my favorites so I can come back to it often. Thanks for the guidance, Shannon!