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“We spend so much time at home, if you can see yourself reflected in that space aesthetically, functionally and emotionally, you will have a home worth millions to you.” —Alex Dauley, British interior designer
As we step into the final week of January, it seems a great time to acknowledge whether or not we feel deeply nourished in our everydays. If where we live we experience the season of winter, this time during the calendar year where we find ourselves more frequently inside whether we would prefer to be or not, gives us time to access with honesty as we cannot escape easily the environments we find ourselves. Chosen up until this point, these environments play a powerful role in our ability to achieve success and fulfill the intentions we set for ourselves with the new year, should we have done so.
This past weekend, as we experienced one of the coldest couple of nights of this winter season, staying inside only made sense, and I reveled in it. Not because I don’t enjoy being outside, as TSLL readers know by now, I absolutely adore time surrounded by Mother Nature, but because Le Papillon, my home, is a nourishing place to be. It’s not perfect, it’s not finished (the projects abound in my mind to start, and also complete, as a few are mid-progress), but it was customized and ‘feathered’ with careful consideration and attention paid to what nourishes my and my pups’ needs (we being the primary residents).
While reading this article last weekend, reminding us to create the home we really want instead of what might have the best resale value, and other external guiding factors we may be tempted to consider that dissuade us from giving us the sanctuary we need, I nodded my head in agreement to the need, not luxury, to do exactly this.
Our environments are many, influencing, affecting, and thus contributing to or distracting from our ability to experience the quality of life we wish to cultivate. Most significantly, our home has the potential to provide the most extensive source of nourishment when we both understand the potential available and then choose to tap into it.
Aside from our personal habitat of where we regularly reside, our social environment and work environment need also be considered and thoughtfully chosen. While we may not be able to change every source of stress, there are choices we can change or nourish more intentionally to strengthen the quality.
Today, as we kick off a new week, I’d like to share with you ways to ensure you are creating an environment that nourishes you uniquely. You may recall that two years ago, we explored how to cultivate an artistic hearth & home, which focused specifically on nourishing your creativity. That post/episode definitely comes into play with what we are exploring today; however, what we will pinpoint today are the concrete ways within our home and everyday life to strengthen our foundation of inner peace and calm, so that whatever our definition is of success, we have provided the fertile ground for it to transpire.
Cultivating an Environment of Nourishment
1. Clean and tidy
Over the past few years, I have found that cleaning my entire house thoroughly once a month works best to prevent too much ‘catch-up’ cleaning and also not feel as though I am constantly cleaning. This is coming from someone who used to clean my house every Friday at the end of the school week. Upon reflection, what I realized is that because I was doing it so frequently, I didn’t clean it as well, and I also simply didn’t need to clean it that often if I did clean it well.
Repeatedly shared here on TSLL, I don’t like to clean, and have hired help in the past. This was very nice when I had two full-time jobs, but now I prefer to clean my sanctuary and care for my delicate antiques on my own, and while three or so hours may be given to caring for my home, it is just that, caring for my home, and also bringing me peace of mind.
With that said, my kitchen usually needs to be cleaned thoroughly every other week, especially the hob (top of my stove) as I use it at least twice a day, every day. And so, just this past weekend, I did must that, focused on the kitchen and gave it a nice clean. The feeling of walking into a clean kitchen is deeply nourishing. The same thing goes for any room, or the entire house, when we know it is clean, see it, and feel it. We give ourselves this peace, this calm, and it is pricelessly nourishing to our clarity of mind.
Whatever system works for you and those you live with, never underestimate the ingredient for success that resides at our fingertips when we simply keep our sanctuary clean and tidy.
2. Choose colors, fabrics and finishes, and the combinations of said items, that bring you joy and provide comfort
Admittedly, tending to these details takes time, and depending upon each of our sensitivities, what we pay attention to will differ, but as someone who has become consciously aware of the influence of the aesthetics of a room on my calm or lack thereof, I now pay careful attention while also prioritizing its importance in my own home.
Currently, I am tending to the small, ‘pass-through’ rooms in Le Papillon – the hallways (mini though they are) and laundry room, a room I pass through multiple times a day as it connects to the garage. As I have been deciding on wallpaper, placing samples up in each space and observing my response to each, just seeing the sample and imagining what the room might become once the color changes to a particular print is drastically uplifting and nourishing.
Sometimes, we dismiss that such small details – the finish of light fixtures, switch plates, paint on the walls in rooms we don’t sleep, relax, or eat in, etc. – could possibly influence our mood and being. But the truth is, they can and already do, we just don’t know anything different because those details haven’t changed.
Begin with small aesthetic changes and then start to invest in the main living areas – flooring, furniture, upholstery, linens, the walls and ceilings of larger rooms, and you will be amazed at how lifted your days become without any good news having to arrive via email or in your mailbox. It all can transpire by simply waking up or crossing the threshold into a thoughtfully decorated home.
~Explore all of the many home décor projects here at Le Papillon.
3. Always have something ‘alive’ in your sanctuary
I put ‘alive’ in quotes because this includes fresh bouquets of flowers as well, even though technically, they are cut and have a soon-to-expire ‘aliveness’. The point being, plants and flowers soften the home and remind us of life itself, rather than feeling as though we live within four walls that merely keep us protected from the elements.
Last week, I was watching the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy . . . (I still cannot believe it’s in its 22nd season! But truthfully, the primary themes continue to offer worthwhile thoughts to ponder about living well) . . . back to my point . . and one of the storylines took the viewer to Boston and to Meredith and her partner’s home. It is architecturally stunning – modern, expansive, high ceilings, and wide-open walls into the yard and garden. All of this was impressive and beautiful, but what finished it and made it feel nourishing to me were the inclusion of gem-tone floral bouquets. Yes, I would still have been impressed by the house, but what made it feel relaxing were the ‘alive’ features, and we can all welcome such beauty into our homes.
Admittedly, it’s much easier to find fresh flowers outside of the winter months. However, with intentional forethought, we can have indoor flowers in winter – from paper whites to amaryllis to hyacinths. And if nothing else is available, one beautiful bloom, just one, in a bud vase, will always lift a room as it shows thoughtfulness and appreciation of beauty.
We bring a smile, which softens our shoulders and brings them down from our ears after a harrowing day at work. Our mindfulness of details, even those that will last only a week, helps calm our being, which then helps us arrive at clarity about what is important to us, where to focus our attention, and what to let go.
4. Mindfully choose your day’s soundtrack
From the music you do, or don’t listen to, the conversations around you at work or friend group, what do you hear? What distracts your thinking, what pulls you away from the present moment? What soothes you, calms your heart rate? Once we begin to pay attention to how our body physically responds to the sounds around us – for example, a leaf blower may disturb calm while we are outside in our garden as opposed to the gentle birdsong that brings a smile – we can begin to make choices that where we have control, we can make changes, and if we don’t have direct control, we can control our exposure to it or our engagement with it (earplugs or white noise machines, for example).
5. Choose natural light as often and as much as possible
Each time there is a full moon, even one or two days on either side of its brightest stage, I make an effort to go outside wherever I am (usually at home), and gaze up at it. This ritual immediately holds me in the present moment, deepens my appreciation and awe, and calms my being. No matter how my day is going, that moment with the moon is a mood lift.
Similarly, natural light as much as possible is welcomed into any sleep space where I am slumbering. I want to begin to see the sun’s light hint at rising above the horizon. From morning to night, having natural light in our proximity – our place of work, our home, at a restaurant (there is a reason the window seats are often the most coveted – we feel a sense of expansiveness while at the same time calming our nervous system when exposed to natural light), plays a nourishing role for our well-being. When we become consciously aware of this, we can begin making choices to allow as much of it into our space as possible.
6. Tend to your sleep sanctuary thoughtfully
Detailed in this post and episode (#305), where we sleep determines how well we will sleep. Tend to the details thoughtfully, and a great new day will be yours more often and thus, your stepping closer to the success you seek.
7. Tickle your mind thoughtfully and consistently
During those rare gaps when I don’t have a book that has captured my curiosity, I immediately notice a ‘lull’ in my mood and energy. But as soon as a new book arrives or I return to a favorite book and reread it, now seeing with more understanding, I am energized again almost immediately.
Case in point: the book you see above in the top photo. While I was curious about it, I wasn’t sure it would speak to me. But as soon as I began reading it, I couldn’t stop. Two hours passed, and I nearly finished it; I am looking forward to returning to it to read it more closely. Days and evenings are lifted as I know I have a book to look forward to, and when I do read it, the ideas pop and flow through my mind.
All of this is to say, ensure you have whatever it is that keeps your mind curious and engaged incorporated into your daily rituals and routines. This is not a luxury. It is a necessity that draws you ever closer to your success as new ideas are presented and unearthed, and dots start to connect.
8. Food that nourishes and comforts without harming
Having a well-stocked (not excessively stocked) épicerie is a helpful way to support your mind in helping it think clearly and nourish your body, so it supports your daily routine. This requires planning ahead and a knowledge of what you need – read/listen to this post, and for further exploration and explanation of what to stock, be sure to check out TSLL’s Intro to French Cooking class, as the entire first lesson goes through exactly what to stock and why.
At the end of a full workday, not even an excruciatingly long and stressful day, I often don’t want to have to think too much about what to make for dinner or lunch. So, during my weekly grocery outings to either the farmers’ market (when ours here in Bend are open) or my go-to grocery stores, I pick up my staples for mixing and matching meals and ingredients for flavor, satiation and enjoyment. From baby spinach leaves, lemons, fresh salmon or steelhead, to any essential cooking ingredients (alliums, garlic, oil, etc.), knowing I have what I need on hand ensures I can make whatever my appetite needs and time allows (most of what I cook for meals is completed and ready to enjoy in 15-30 minutes).
When we don’t have the nourishment readily available in our kitchen, there is a stronger tendency that we won’t nourish ourselves well and further deplete our energy and good health in doing so. This not only weighs literally on our bones, but on our mind as well.
The best part about creating an épicerie and fridge that is prepared for your nourishment is that once you get into this habit, you don’t have to think about it too much. You will move with the seasons for various produce, but over-archingly, you put yourself on the track of good nutrition habits that will fuel well your everydays.
9. The connections you make and keep
When we pay attention to the barometer within us of our energy as it responds to people we engage with, we realize we have a readily accessible tool for helping us create a nourishing social environment. We just need to listen to it and respond accordingly.
From acquaintance connections to familial and more intimate connections, relationships involve two people, and we are one of those people. While we cannot control the other person, we don’t have to keep putting ourselves into situations that drain us or throw our sense of calm out of balance with consistency. Every connection is different and will need to be navigated uniquely, but more importantly, pay attention to the connections that do nourish you.
While exploring the skill of Savoring in this post, the distinction between dampening and deepening was explored, and while yes, we need to be aware of relationships and situations that dampen our energy (not what we want), we also, and most importantly, need to tune in to what deepens, thereby strengthens and lifts our energy.
What activities, what type of outings, events, environments, particular people, upon returning home after spending time engaged with them, leave you more at peace, energized, and with a buoyant mood of possibility and hope? Tailor your life to regularly incorporate more of these connections. They need not have any direct connection to the successful outcome you are seeking; what these connections do is bring calm, which leads to clarity, and that opens the space for doing and being able to do what you need, and to do it well.
10. Choose to learn the skills to enjoy where you are right now
Maybe I should have led with this one, and maybe the use of the word ‘success’ was misused. However, what I want you to realize is that you are already a success right now in this moment. The new year may have begun with you setting intentions and looking ahead to six months, one more or a year down the road of what might be your new reality if you apply the changes you have set up for yourself, but the truth is, if we cannot enjoy, savor, the life we have right now, the likelihood we will be able to enjoy what we create for ourselves in six months or one year’s time either.
This revelation is not new to long-time TSLL readers. The foundation of living a simply luxurious life is to live a life in which we are elevating our everydays and savoring each one, being able to see what is going well and exercising the muscle of appreciation, thus living a life of true contentment.
If we cannot look around us right now and see something that brings a smile, that we are grateful for, then there is some work we need to do to heal, to calm, and to understand how to live well. But it must be chosen. The skills are many, but they aren’t difficult. They do require conscious choice and investment of time to apply, but once established, they become a skill that provides the peace and life expansion we thought we would find by pursuing goals of external value and validation.
As I arrived home Saturday late in the afternoon, having begun the day with work in the office on the trailer of TSLL’s 4th book (it’s now done and ready to be shared! TOP Tier members will see it on February 1st and everyone else later in the month), followed by a personal appointment for self-care, I stepped into Le Papillon – the stove (I’ve named her Provence ☺️🙃) cleaned earlier in the day and gazed upon a tidy sanctuary – immediately my calm deepened further. I eagerly stepped into the kitchen and made a meal from ingredients on hand after having picked one or two items that would make dinner complete. As it is January and the sunset just after 4 pm, I lit a few candles to soften the space, turned on the fireplace, and the day ended with an appreciative deep breath.
To an outsider looking in, such an evening is nothing extraordinary, but to me, it was absolutely ideal and a gift. My mind was calm, ideas danced about, but I didn’t have to do anything with them. I was just grateful my being was nourished. I know that the intentions I hold close to my heart are clear, and with each day I care for myself and those I love (that includes TSLL community!) in a way that is sincere and true, what unfolds will unfold as it will, and I will know which are opportunities best suited for me and my journey. Along the way, I savor my everydays.
May today’s post reassure, encourage (or do a little bit of both) that experiencing the life you hold in your mind’s eye isn’t as far off in the distance as you may have once thought, and that you have more influence in making this so right at your fingertips than you may have realized.
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~Learn more about TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass – explore the detailed syllabus, watch the trailer and read student reviews.
