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“Do you know what happens when someone lets go of your hand? You get it back. It’s a good thing . . . It means you have time . . . not to wash the dishes. To do something with it, to get out there, to take it to the next level . . . you gotta get out there. Do something and don’t look back.”
–Grey’s Anatomy created by Shonda Rhimes
Whether you are a recent graduate from college, now free from the many responsibilities that a full college schedule demands, newly single after a relationship has come to an end or have experienced a child not needing your help as much as they once used to, in each of these instances it can be easy to become frightened. In each of these instances your life has changed based on who is no longer in it or the schedule you used to keep is no longer dictated by someone else. And while any change can be difficult, a change that occurs that takes away something you have become accustomed to can be unsettling. However, instead of looking at what you are lacking, I suggest you choose to look at what you are gaining.
One of the most jarring “hand letting go” instances is when the people in our lives move on especially when we don’t want them to or weren’t ready for them to. To all my fellow single readers I would encourage you to use this time of not having to “hold someone’s hand” as an opportunity to dive into yourself, develop your strengths, seek out new experiences and try things you’ve always been curious about. I recently read an article in The New York Times “Seeking Love? Find Strength in Numbers” which chronicled a gaggle of women in their twenties attending a lecture in TriBeCa to help inform them on where and how to meet their future husbands. I bring this article up not to applaud it, but to denounce it. Love can’t be scheduled, someone else’s timing cannot be controlled, but what can be controlled is whether or not we choose to develop who we have the potential to become.
Spending days, months and years after someone has let go trying to find another hand to hold is a waste of precious time that should be used to further your passions, further your dreams and build your confidence. Because there is nothing more attractive than a woman or a man who has become someone they are proud of and filled their resume with experiences that consist of more than just trying to find a mate. And while you are going about your business, chasing your dreams, you’ll be surprised who life has in store for you to have the opportunity to meet.
Now some may state that their passion is to be married and have children. I would frankly respond to such remarks by declaring that you’re not reaching high enough. Now don’t jump to conclusions. I’m not saying don’t dream of having children and being married. What I am saying is that such dreams can be attained ALONG with developing yourself and all the unique talents you possess. The best gift any one of us can give to ourselves, the world and if we choose to – our future spouses and children – is to be a well-rounded, learned and accomplished contributor to the society you wish to be a part of.
So whenever that time may come that you find yourself with a free hand, follow today’s maxim and get out there to capitalize on an amazing opportunity that won’t last forever.