Why Not . . . Get To Know Yourself?
Wednesday October 20, 2010

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It has always been my belief that the best gift you can give yourself is the time to get to know yourself.  Now some may think this to be an odd gift. After all, the process of getting to know one’s self is not all roses and kisses.  In fact, the inaugural stages are full of tears, doubt, and questioning.  But similar to going through the pain of growing spurts or straightening your teeth, the pain of the process produces an amazing result that, upon completion, is viewed as being more than worth the pain.

In this new Why Not . . .? series, I’m addressing the question in reverse.  This week I want to share with you the benefits of getting to know yourself, and hopefully you’ll stop back by next week as I’ll then move on to answering the question of how to get to know yourself. Without further chit chat, let’s get started on what can be gained in your life by choosing to get to know the real you.

Establishing Boundaries

Once you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you can more easily establish the areas in your life that you are willing to be a bit more flexible with and with which ones you need to stand firm on a regular basis.  For example, if you are someone who needs time to themselves to unwind, that should be a boundary you don’t waver on, but if you’re privacy isn’t something you guard stringently, you might be more flexible when it comes to uninvited guests stopping by your home. The key is to figure out what makes you uncomfortable and to honor that feeling.  The only reason you need to say no to anything is that it makes you feel uncomfortable. That is enough, and if anyone else tries to override you, they are not being respectful of your feeling, and a battle for control is taking place. Respect yourself enough to know what you can’t wiggle on and what you can and be strong.

~listen to episode #343, How Setting Healthy Boundaries Contributes to True Contentment

Less Judgmental

Upon realizing your talents and passions, your need to be envious or jealous of others’ talents quietly, and rather quickly, evaporates.  It’s funny how when you feel you have found your purpose, you understand the struggles of others and are more apt to understand why they are behaving as they do, thus resulting in your response of empathy. Because once you’ve found what your focus needs to be in life, what truly fills you up and causes you to know without question that you are chasing the dreams that you were meant to chase, you don’t begrudge anyone else their dreams whether you agree with them or not.  In fact, your appreciation of someone else’s success provides a positive energy that will provide more fuel towards your goal. Think about it.

Elimination of Fear

One of the most freeing things about getting to know yourself is the squashing of the fear that resides inside your subconscious.  Once you are assured that you have determined, on an initial level, what lights you up from within and stirs your inner fire in such a positive way that you couldn’t imagine doing anything else, the fear is so minimal because you have this quiet self-confidence that your passion will carry you through the tough times and help you shine on to the most memorable times. What a priceless realization.

The Comfort of Your Own Skin

And once you have eliminated the fear, your confidence can propel you to even more amazing heights.  Think about it. When you’re not sure, insecure and constantly questioning, you’re not taking gainful strides.  Instead, you are tippy-toeing.  And think of the strength and balance you are casting aside by doing this? Not only will you be more likely to achieve your dreams and goals when you become comfortable in your own skin, but you’ll arrive there in a more direct path because you will have remained balanced, confident and assured that you are on the right path.

No Regrets

Yet another wonderful benefit of getting to know yourself is the elimination of regrets. I must admit, I have come to believe that there are no regrets because ultimately, everything done in the past has created the person I am today.  However, for anyone who has regrets and holds on to them, by knowing full well that you are living the life that best suits you (not anyone else’s idea of what you should do), you are placing the responsibility squarely on your shoulders. And by doing that, you also accept that you will make mistakes, but the beauty is they don’t have to be regrets because just like falling – it’s only considered a failure (or regret) if you refuse to learn from it.

Energy Is Plentiful

By becoming more self-aware of who you are, you eliminate wasting energy on people, events and worries that once you weren’t sure of, slowed you down or steered you in the wrong direction. By knowing, you place your dreams on the table and understand very clearly where you want your energy to be spent.  And in doing this, it also becomes much easier to make decisions.  The “no”s will come more confidently and the “yes”s more excitedly.

Okay, now that we’ve covered the benefits, let’s figure out how to earn them. Click here to view part two of the series as we begin to investigate exactly how to best get to know yourself.  Have a wonderful day, and thank you for taking the time to stop by The Simply Luxurious Life.

Explore the topic of getting to know yourself and the benefits in TSLL’s 1st bookChoosing The Simply Luxurious Life, and deepen your exploration in TSLL’s 2nd bookLiving TSLL.

Thesimplyluxuriouslife.com | The Simply Luxurious Life

13 thoughts on “Why Not . . . Get To Know Yourself?

  1. You have covered it all beautifully. Well said on every point!
    I find that with time these points become crystal clear and
    become easier to realise as time goes by. You just have to let go and be.
    Says she, in all her 53 years :))


  2. Ahh, another lovely post. I hope that someday i can get to a place where i can tick all the boxes on your post. One thing i certainly struggle with is regrets and it tends to leave me doubting things that i could possibly do later on. I’m going to have to print this post and file it away. Can’t wait for your next instalment

    xoxo Hermine 🙂

  3. What beautiful images to accompany this post!

    I appreciated you mentioning envy. I find that the only people I am envious of are those who are doing something that I wish to be doing, only not letting fear hold them back. I’m working on it!

    I wish more people would ENJOY solitude, as I feel that is an essential part to getting to know yourself. How do you act when no one else is around? What do you like to do? When I meet people who tell me they can’t stand to be by themselves, I’m always shocked. My alone time is something that I crave, and my mood reflects when I don’t get enough of it!

  4. i’m totally trying to live with NO REGRETS! – that’s one of my things that i say to myself when i say “what the hell i’ll go, or i’ll do it” .. i say “no regrets Erika, live it up” .. great words of wisdom!

  5. Another beautiful post. One that I struggled with for years was Establishing Boundaries. I have always been one of those individuals that want to make everyone happy. I especially was blind by not seeing that those who crossed those boundaries (say when I said No and they insisted to the point I succumbed and did as they said) were being disrespectful to me and essentially bullying me into doing what they wanted. I learned after reaching my breaking point that this is one area in which I had to put my foot down. When we show others that we respect ourselves highly, they will think twice before attempting to disrespect you.

    Have a great day!

  6. Well said and perfect timing. I am going through this exercise right now in finding what I want in every aspect of my life. These points add a different perspective and I can’t wait to read the next chapter!

  7. I’m loving this whole series. I feel I need to print them all off and re-read them over and over during the day when I’m having lunch and make notes!

    You’re soooo good at what you do. You must feel sure you’ve found your calling?

  8. I loved this post!!!

    I could read the ‘Less Judgemental’ part over and over again because it’s just so true 🙂

    Thank you for reminding me that I am chasing my dreams and enjoying my heart filling up daily now I get to focus 100% on what matters to me. This is a quote from above that I will re-read again and again: “once you’ve found what your focus needs to be in life, what truly fills you up and causes you to know without question that you are chasing the dreams that you were meant to chase” 🙂 Thanks,x

  9. As I am in this stage, again, I find myself looking at what is it that drives me? I look back at what I’ve done and the passion I had while doing it, but the last several years have been hard, and I made it out of difficult times, so now I’m ready to get on with my life and myself. I’m slowly going through your second book, and keep referring back to earlier chapters, This will be along side your first book, near to my heart as I learn so much from them, This post has given my gray matter much movement and I’m looking forward to putting it to good use. Thank You so much.

    1. Jocelyn, so happy to hear you see movement and progress toward brighter days. I am humbled that you find such inspiration in my books. Thank you very much for your comment. 🙂

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