“When you are in your own lane, there is no traffic.” —Lucy Claire Dunbar, illustrator
Where do you feel calm even when you are challenged while you are there?
I had the opportunity to visit a local bookstore this past weekend and play Scrabble with a group of avid wordsmiths and experts of the game conceived in 1931. A game Queen Elizabeth II enjoyed playing (coincidentally the game received its trademark in the same year she gave birth to her first son, now King Charles III), as did and do millions of people around the world.
The two hours flew by, and before I knew it, two games had been completed, a gentle, yet much-needed refresher of the rules had been absorbed (nope, Shannon, you cannot explore the Scrabble dictionary of usable words while playing 🙃), and upon reflection while driving home, I couldn’t recall a time in the recent past where I had lost complete track of time, never looked at my phone and had been able to just play with words without an expectation of doing anything productive with them. My definition of a good-time with fellow like-minded, kind and welcoming individuals.
Now, how does this example relate to finding our lane and riding along traffic-free?
Yours or my ‘lane’ is a way of living that doesn’t seek out external validation nor does it follow the model someone else has set forth even though we may draw inspiration from others’ lives. Even though from time to time we may receive praise or win a game of Scrabble to reference the example above, whether we win the game or come dead last, it doesn’t matter because we love what we are doing, and to simply be able to partake and create in our own way is all we need to fully be living and engaged with the present moment.
We don’t change lanes or throw our hands up when we have tiles (in Scrabble) that we don’t know what to do with, but instead take this as a realization that we may want to beef up our knowledge of available word options (yes, ‘fe’ is an acceptable word), and without apology, place at least one of our tiles somewhere for a smidge of points and set our ego aside so to keep the game rolling forward.
Staying in our lane has to do with knowing our foundation, a foundation that we know we have built and invested in – an ownership in other words rather than being a lessee or tenant. Another way of looking at it is being grounded in the knowing of ourselves: knowing what brings us to life and basing our journey forward on that knowledge rather than external motivation or influence.
If we travel in our own lane, it is during times of upheaval to other lanes (road construction or entire closures) where many are traveling in a pack, dependent entirely on, for example, the utilization of that road that is not their own when said road undergoes a change or becoming unavailable. For us, it will only be a momentary headache. Why? Because that other road isn’t our lane, but perhaps provides a tool of awareness of possibilities we witness while traveling in our lane. We can learn from our observations of that other lane, we can even applaud, all the while continuing to travel without delay or impediment in our own.
We may, and likely will have to adapt, polish, and tweak as we travel along our lane, but who we are and what we share, the ethos of our way of traveling, doesn’t change.
Whether your lane pertains to the work you do or the hobbies you enjoy, or generally, how you live your life, when you travel in your lane, living becomes a joy-filled occasion because you are savoring the journey, not constantly looking over your shoulder or fearful of detours ahead. Why? Because you have a quiet confidence and clarity about yourself. A deep, abiding trust that your inner compass will not lead you astray.
Because when we travel in our lane, we are fueling ourselves in a way that is impossible to do if we are in someone else’s. Sure, we may benefit from the slipstream, and travel may appear to require less effort in someone else’s lane, but the moment we lose our place on that tail of the rider/driver in front of us, the effort required to regain our place drains us because it isn’t our lane to travel.
Today, bravely choose or continue to choose the lane that is yours uniquely whether in how you deeply savor living your life, the work you love that energizes you until you realize you must get some sleep, or simply the social outings you most prefer and describe as the best way to spend an afternoon. You will create your own ‘slipstream’ the propels you forward along a life journey you will, in hindsight, be glad you had the courage to choose.
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That Scrabble game sounds like so much fun. I love how you got absorbed in it and time flew. What better setting than a bookstore? It makes me want to find a similar type of activity, not Scrabble necessarily, but a board game activity to enjoy with new acquaintances. It all just sounds very nice! Thanks for the moment of vicarious escape for me!
Victoria,
Thank you for stopping by and happy to read the post provided a respite you enjoyed. 🙂
This is an interesting post about staying in our lane, whatever it may be. Like many, jigsaw puzzles proved a soothing distraction for me during the pandemic. Whenever my daughter visits, a few hours can easily slip away as we focus. Someday, perhaps I’ll try Scrabble, I just never learned. My acquaintances play bridge and Mah Jongg, but it’s just not ‘my lane.”
Cannon,
Thank you for stopping by. 🙂 And to honor what you discover to speak to you, that is the key! 🙂
King Charles II? Born in 1931?
My apologies for the typo – III. 🙂 Thank you for being kind in your bringing this to my awareness.
I couldn’t help myself and just checked online- King Charles III was born on November 14, 1948.
The closest royal birthdate to Scrabble was Princess Margaret on August 21, 1930.
I wonder if Scrabble has a Royal Warrant like so many British products do? I just saw that Cadbury lost theirs.
It was the same year as the trademark that was given to Scrabble – 1948. Not sure exactly how Royal Warrants work regarding which companies are permitted the opportunity, but I think the warrants are given to British companies only and Scrabble was invented by an American and is now owned by an American country.
Scrabble is the only board game I really enjoy. I’m not a strategist, so games of strategy tend to elude me–they’re definitely not in my lane! (My daughter, who’s a natural strategist, used to beat me at mancala when she was five years old! She’s now pursuing an MS in data analysis.) One thing I love about Scrabble is that you’re not really playing against the other players; you’re doing the best you can with the letters on your rack and the options on the board. 🙂 I’m so glad you had such a wonderful time that the hours slipped by!
I love that feeling of “slipstreaming” or, as others have termed it, “flow” when I am so secure within my self that my “zone” or “lane” travels with me. Through some recent readings I am discovering more the “why” behind this lovely experience for myself and perhaps how I can let myself sustain this. Put simply , I have discovered–although of course we all KNOW this but–it is simply a matter of being here now and not getting in one’s own way. Thoughtful post, Shannon, thank you. And yes, your analogy bought back lovely memories of my mother’s mother teaching me to play Scrabble with her gameboard and pieces. She and I played together for many years on that same board, usually with a slice of cake she had recently made and a cup of cocoa or tea. Thank you for that.
À bientôt!💕
Rona,
Thank you for sharing how this post spoke to you and how powerful staying in the present moment fully really can be to experiencing ease of living, even renewal energy as we travel. What a lovely memory to have of time shared with your mother. Thank you for sharing with us. Sounds deliciously wonderful for so many reasons. 🙂
We love Scrabble also, and playing in a bookstore would make for an extra dreamy evening! These last weeks I am mulling over an issue which involves staying in one’s lane, and also involves refinements to an issue of personal energy and boundaries. The issue is so small in light of the world’s work, yet it’s big and looming for me. Oh, if only we could always have the answers we need when we need them! It’s true in Scrabble and in life too. Your words are very helpful today, thank you so much. And I’ve never known the word slipstream…a handy thing to know. I wonder how ‘slip’ got included in this one, haha. Will have to ponder that! Thank you for sharing your lovely bookstore experience and the wonderful ideas it sparked.
Take care, Liz
Liz,
May your mullings and chosen refinements come to realization, as I know they will with your kind and thoughtful heart. No doubt if it is causing you discontent and prompting you to be ill at ease, it is most definitely something to honor in the change you are needing. Do not worry about comparing with all of the world’s work. When we each know peace, we model what is permissible and is not, and we are each a part of this grand ole world.
I am thinking of you and sending love. As you wisely pointed out and brought to my attention – we cannot always have the answers when we want them, but with the intention to find them, we will when we need them even if they may not feel ‘perfectly’ formed. Trust your inner guide. You are so wise and I always enjoy hearing from you and your insights. Take care. 😌💛