“When you are in your own lane, there is no traffic.” —Lucy Claire Dunbar, illustrator

Where do you feel calm even when you are challenged while you are there?

I had the opportunity to visit a local bookstore this past weekend and play Scrabble with a group of avid wordsmiths and experts of the game conceived in 1931. A game Queen Elizabeth II enjoyed playing (and coincidentally King Charles II was born in that same year in which the game was created), along with millions of people around the world.

The two hours flew by, and before I knew it, two games had been completed, a gentle, yet much-needed refresher of the rules had been absorbed (nope, Shannon, you cannot explore the Scrabble dictionary of usable words while playing 🙃), and upon reflection while driving home, I couldn’t recall a time in the recent past where I had lost complete track of time, never looked at my phone and had been able to just play with words without an expectation of doing anything productive with them. My definition of a good-time with fellow like-minded, kind and welcoming individuals.

Now, how does this example relate to finding our lane and riding along traffic-free?

Yours or my ‘lane’ is a way of living that doesn’t seek out external validation nor does it follow the model someone else has set forth even though we may draw inspiration from others’ lives. Even though from time to time we may receive praise or win a game of Scrabble to reference the example above, whether we win the game or come dead last, it doesn’t matter because we love what we are doing, and to simply be able to partake and create in our own way is all we need to fully be living and engaged with the present moment.

We don’t change lanes or throw our hands up when we have tiles (in Scrabble) that we don’t know what to do with, but instead take this as a realization that we may want to beef up our knowledge of available word options (yes, ‘fe’ is an acceptable word), and without apology, place at least one of our tiles somewhere for a smidge of points and set our ego aside so to keep the game rolling forward.

Staying in our lane has to do with knowing our foundation, a foundation that we know we have built and invested in – an ownership in other words rather than being a lessee or tenant. Another way of looking at it is being grounded in the knowing of ourselves: knowing what brings us to life and basing our journey forward on that knowledge rather than external motivation or influence.

If we travel in our own lane, it is during times of upheaval to other lanes (road construction or entire closures) where many are traveling in a pack, dependent entirely on, for example, the utilization of road that is not their own when said road undergoes a change or becoming unavailable. For us, it will only be a momentary headache. Why? Because that other road isn’t our lane, but perhaps provides a tool of awareness of possibilities we witness while traveling in our lane. We can search learn from our observations of that other lane, we can even applaud, all the while continuing to travel without delay or impediment in our own.

We may, and likely will have to adapt, polish, and tweak as we travel along our lane, but who we are and what we share, the ethos of our way of traveling, doesn’t change.

Whether your lane pertains to the work you do or the hobbies you enjoy, or generally, how you live your life, when you travel in your lane, living becomes a joy-filled occasion because you are savoring the journey, not constantly looking over your shoulder or fearful of detours ahead. Why? Because you have a quiet confidence and clarity about yourself. A deep, abiding trust that your inner compass will not lead you astray.

Because when we travel in our lane, we are fueling ourselves in a way that is impossible to do if we are in someone else’s lane. Sure, we may benefit from the slipstream, and travel may appear to require less effort in someone else’s lane, but the moment we lose our place on that tail of the rider/driver in front of us, the effort required to regain our place drains us because it isn’t our lane to travel.

Today, bravely choose or continue to choose the lane that is yours uniquely whether in how you deeply savor living your life, the work you love that energizes you until you realize you must get some sleep, or simply the social outings you most prefer and describe as the best way to spend an afternoon. You will create your own ‘slipstream’ the propels you forward along a life journey you will, in hindsight, be glad you had the courage to choose.

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episode #375: How to Become a More Skilled Participate in the Living of Our Life