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“Gratitude is more than just an emotion; it’s a state of being that acknowledges receipt.” —Matt Cooke, author of Beyond Wanting
Noticing the still and calm that invites a deep sleep.
Observing how the customer before us in line cleared the self-checkout counter and placed the shopping basket in the stack.
Recognizing the ability to purchase without pause food for making a dinner to share with family and friends.
Acknowledging each of these seemingly mundane capabilities or actions taken that enable us to move with ease through our day in a powerful way. As opposed to not taking note of the thoughtfulness of others who don’t even know us, or expecting to be able to buy food at the grocery whenever we need it, or to be able to fall asleep without effort because of a calm environment, as soon as we start to consciously realize our good fortune our life shifts into a different lane of possibility.
“When we approach life with genuine thankfulness . . . everything good we put into the world returns to us multipled.” —Daniel Chidiac
How can simply being grateful bring about such profound and desired change?
It all comes back to our mind. What we focus on, we cultivate.
Earlier this year, while visiting France, I visited Parc Botanique de Haute Bretagne, and as it was early March, just a few days after they had opened for the season, the garden was just barely beginning to bloom; however, I found it quite beautiful. I also had the entire park to myself. The two resident felines accompanied me for part of the tour as I wandered about, and to my definition of ideal companionship, I felt like a queen.
As I walked from one garden room to the next, I saw the structure of the garden, what lies at its foundation, with clarity, something that is less or nearly impossible to observe during the peak of the growing season. In this observation, my appreciation deepened for the work the gardeners give year-round to this living space, and I no more felt I was missing out by not being there during summer or late spring than I felt lonely due to the spartan presence of humans.
The Gratitude Effect builds the bridge to the life we say we want, but have been unknowningly getting in the way by wanting it instead of appreciating all that is right now.
When we shift our attention to becoming keenly aware of the ability to wake up to a new day, and how awesome that gift is, not a guarantee, the ordinary becomes extraordinary. “The ordinary becomes sacred. Small joys become treasures.”
Even during times in our life of difficulty, shifting from one chapter of our life’s journey to another, when we carry with us the choice, the skill, to be appreciative for the seemingly most petite life detail, that abundance we take note of, carries us through with a calming, reassuring steadiness. We realize so much is actually going well, even if not everything is to our preference. We let go of wanting and instead start to become the person who lives with gratitude. And that is when the journey opens up to possibilities beyond our wildest imagination, and traveling along it becomes enjoyable (something we talked about in detail in last Monday’s Motivational post).
How Living with Gratitude and Genuinely expressing it, acknowleding it, Changes Us:
We become more generous
Too often, when generosity is spoken of, the assumption is that it means giving a physical gift. While yes, the five Love Languages taught by Gary Chapman remind us that each of us is different in how we most feel loved, when it comes to being generous, it begins with noticing what is happening and thus what is needed for the person beyond ourselves—context matters.
Perhaps it is simply taking a pause while working on a project together with someone and noticing that they are giving 110% to help us. By pausing, we acknowledge their effort and express gratitude for it before we continue to completion. Or it could be when we put away our phone, turn it off, and give our full attention to wherever we are.
Our generosity need not cost a penny/centime out of our pocket, but instead a moment of awareness and the choice to be kind.
We become more compassionate
Empathy in action. This past September, in episode #410, the concept of Compassion was explored in depth, and paired with this conscious choice to consider the needs of others is the act of true kindness. While both involve courage, strength, and vulnerability, they both come from a place of awareness. Awareness of beyond ourselves, but simultaneously considering ourselves and what we can give. Our ability to be aware is strengthened when we practice gratitude regularly throughout our day.
By noticing all that is going well, going smoothly throughout so many of our days, we recognize with keen clarity hiccups, whether in our lives or in others, and when we can help, when we can offer understanding, comfort, kindness, we are more apt to do so.
We become more fully present
There is a beautiful truth in life that we cannot be both grateful and wanting. International bestselling author Hal Elrod puts it more directly, “Gratitude and complaining cannot co-exist simultaneously. You must choose the one that best serves you.” Substitute any focus of our attention that pulls us out of the present moment – anxiety, fear, worry, even hope and rumination- each of these cannot coexist with gratitude. Now, this is not to say we cannot have hope, but when we are thinking about the future we want, we are not seeing the gifts in the present.
Gratitude requires that our full attention be in the now, and when we are in the now, we improve our clarity . . .
We gain clarity
Through choosing to live with awareness, noticing and detecting the details of life that enrich it, we also become keen observers of others who are aware of their world and all that surrounds them. As we become more aware of how our own actions and thoughts affect our world, we also see others with clarity. This information is valuable in that, since we also understand that it is not our job to change others, we become more appreciative and inviting to those who live with awareness, as well as the courage to express gratitude and be kind, and find ourselves spending less time with those who may never choose to change. This change would ironically elevate the quality of their lived experience. However, we live as we do, and maybe our example will inspire others to be brave.
We become a magnet for more to be thankful for
What we express gratitude for, what we take notice of – the kindness of others, the roof over our heads, the rain that helps the garden grow, the sun that warms the soil, the paycheck that arrives on time – when we remember to extend gratitude of what gives our life the ingredients that bring us to life, that is energy that finds its way back to us at some future point, and often multiplied. And what we consciously notice is often what we continue to find as we move through our days.
Wanting ceases, yet paradoxically, our life becomes more abundant
This truth, once realized, liberates our shoulders, our minds, from holding onto the burden we assumed was how we had to travel through life – constantly trying to improve, to do better, live bigger, be [insert the change we thought we had to make to finally live our best life]. In my own life, when I pared down to drinking in all that was going well, and let go of worrying about what I thought I should want but wasn’t present, a river of amazing gifts in myriad forms flooded my days. Upon reflection, this shift in living fully in the present began in earnest shortly after I moved to Bend (2015), when I couldn’t do what I wanted – buy a house. I had to rent. At first, I thought this wasn’t the way I had planned; it isn’t what I wanted or what I thought would be best for me. But I quickly realized it was exactly what I needed, and my life became more enriched and fulfilling than I could have ever imagined.
During those four years before I found Le Papillon, I gained clarity about a whole host of truths for my life journey: what lifted my days, strengths I didn’t know I had, skills I needed to work on and improve, and things I needed to learn entirely! The universe knew what I needed, and as soon as I let go of what I wanted, ironically, the life I had been envisioning became my reality.
We cannot want our life into being; we have to be the person who invites it into existence. And because we are not privy to all that we are capable of, as we cannot have that foresight, the universe (or whoever or whatever you tip your hat to) knows what we need to learn, what skills we have yet to understand and put into practice, to bring what is possible (not promised) into existence, our job is to savor the now, the present. And when we choose to savor, we are actively engaging in gratitude.
When we shift from wanting to being grateful, we open the floodgates of wonderful possibilities materializing with frequency in our everydays.
The Gratitude Effect involves letting go and opening up to see all that is, because all that is is pretty extraordinarily awesome.
During this time of officially celebrating the act of giving thanks, may you see the abundance awaiting your attention so that you may savor it.
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