“As you become more clear

about who you really are,

you’ll be better able to

decide what is best for you-

the first time around.”

–Oprah Winfrey

The pressure to succeed, to pursue happiness, is at the very core of who Americans are, as well as millions of people around the globe, but at what cost to themselves are people trying to reach success?

For many, the belief that in order to change yourself, you must at first feel bad about what it is that needs to be reformed is innate.  Initially, this is wonderful motivation to rev up a your engines and propel you forward to achieving, thus changing, your reality.  However, over the course of the journey, this form of “negative” motivation loses power quickly.  There is a small majority of people that can thrive on this idea of self-rejection to carry them to success, but too many times that same person is never capable of accepting who they are no matter how successful they become. So the question is, what is a healthy alternative to motivating yourself to achieve your dreams?

The most powerful tool you can use to achieve success is self-acceptance. I can honestly say I have fought this mentality for quite some time.  At face value, acceptance to me sounded as though I was accepting where I was in my life and refusing to do anything to change it, but after doing more research and coming to a better understanding of the true meaning behind what acceptance was, I began to see this wasn’t the case at all.  Let me explain.

Ironically enough, by accepting yourself as who you are at this very moment – strengths and, yes, weaknesses, you are actually making the first step in the process toward changing those very things you are accepting. Keep this in mind as we move forward in the discussion, accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.

What self-acceptance does is open up more possibilities of succeeding because you aren’t fighting yourself along the way.  For example, if you know you have a killer voice, but you are so body conscious that you wouldn’t dare step on stage, you haven’t accepted yourself or your life at the present moment for what it is.  Essentially, you are getting in your own way of achieving success.  Now, if you accept that you need to work on your weight, but in the meantime, you’re going to step on that stage and sing your lungs out impressing each pair of ears that are in the room, voilà, you’ve demonstrated self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance at its core, is being happy with who you are in the present moment and loving yourself for who you are right now even those aspects that you aren’t thrilled with.

Here are a few benefits of embracing the idea of self-acceptance:

*You become less defensive

*It becomes easier to maintain close relationships

*It leads to valuing and appreciating yourself and others more fully

*You begin to tune in to your true essence and stop wasting energy on your faults.

*You celebrate your strengths, laugh at your weaknesses and if need be, contemplate and proceed to make positive changes in your life.

*You become more effective in setting and reaching your goals/dreams and achieving success.

Here are some daily habits to include in your life to begin to move toward being more accepting, therefore, allowing yourself to not be hindered by the negative talk and focus on your imperfections:

*Monitor your self-talk.  Be an optimistic realist and eliminate that worst critic, you, in your head. It does you no good – trust me!

*Do not compare yourself to others – celebrate them and then go about living your best life – exude and share your talents.

*Learn to say NO!  When you respect yourself enough to put a kibosh on people’s negative comments about you, you take your power back.  By saying no to things you don’t agree with, don’t want to be a part of and don’t feel right about, you are saying that your needs and your ideas are worth attending to. Think about it.

Amazingly enough, by letting go of the need to focus on your faults and instead celebrating your strengths, a renewed energy will emerge and amazing gains will be made toward the success you have dreamed about.

Have a beautiful start to your week and if any of my readers have experience with this concept and would like to share, please do. I would love to hear more inspiring personal stories on how indeed acceptance is a powerful tool.