“Your time is, first of all, for you to be: to be alive, to be peace, to be joy, and to be loving. The world needs joyous and loving people who are capable of just being without doing. If you know the art of being peace, of being solid, then you have the ground for every action.”
—Thich Nhat Hanh, from How to Dream

A life lived consciously.

Exercising courage to make significant life choices as well as to be kind, loving and to delight in everyday life without apology.

At the heart of living a simply luxurious life, something I began writing about, sharing, and living consciously in 2009 yet what was inspired by realizing that unconsciously I had been living in such a way nearly my entire life, is true contentment.

True contentment, the concept itself, is vast, encompassing complex skills, yet the simple truth is where we find it – within each of us. We each hold the capabilities within to learn the skills needed to cultivate contentment.

The skills in our toolbox of contentment continue to be taught here on TSLL blog, in TSLL’s books and in the Contentment Masterclass. Touching on them at times, exploring them in-depth during other instances, the repetition is intentional. Much like oxygen needed to breathe, understanding these skills and how they weave into living a simply luxurious life, helps to grasp the importance of choosing to learn the skill, which will take time upfront to consciously put into practice until habituated.

Often, when someone asks what I do, as is a common introductory question in the states, I first state that I write about and teach contentment. And then I will follow up, after a brief explanation that contentment is grounded in the psychology of Buddhism, that I do so with help from the exploration of two cultures that I love, and many of TSLL readers do too – the French and British ways of life (seasonal produce, savoring the moment, slowing down for the former – French, and for the latter – British, especially the gardening, sustainability, love of tea and cozying in with books upon books, etc., etc.). I often observe in their face a bit of confusion because how does Contentment mesh with the two cultures on the surface – one a philosophy, the other, ways of living, but really, that is why they do mesh so well together. One is about the love of learning and gaining wisdom and the other is about embracing a lifestyle the is nourishing – the French and British culture just happen to be the cultures that speak to me and many of TSLL readers. And that is what living simply luxuriously is all about. Applying conceptual life philosophies to the actual living of life.

Let’s reflect on the past month, and the 7-part series that we conclude today by taking a look at the axiom introduced at the beginning of the exploration of Who TSLL is Written For:

TSLL is “The thinking and compassionate person’s blog with everyday ‘sides’ of living well to savor.”

As we explored in Part Une and Cinq where we explored what it meant to be a thinking person and then what true compassion is, these two different skills of equal importance when it comes to living simply luxuriously reside at the foundation of living a life of contentment. Consider these two skills the heart that pumps the blood throughout the body. Without them, we cannot live well, we cannot thrive, we cannot discover our dharma, we cannot fulfill our true potential, nourish and discover healthy relationships.

Let’s keep with the analogy of the body and how it functions and looks. The everyday ‘sides’ would comprise of the health of our skin, hair, nails, muscle development, etc. We get to choose how we adorn our body – the clothes, the jewelry, our hair color and its style. The healthier our heart, the more wisdom we have to care and nourish ourselves properly, the healthier our exterior beauty becomes. What we can wear, what fits regarding size and how it falls on our silhouette, is determined by our physique and that is determined, by at the most basic, being alive, but then by keeping our heart strong and healthy.

When our heart is healthy, we likely don’t pay it much thought, unless of course, we are a student of contentment. In which case, through the practice of gratitude, we understand and don’t take for granted our good health and abilities. But back to having a healthy heart – we can then focus on elevating all that we choose to do – the ‘sides’ we have selected, the concept explored in-depth in Part Trois. We have more fun living, we take the time to choose a life that nourishes us, we Savor the present (Part Six) and also make plans to delight in ‘sides’ that will be enjoyed down the road – travel, events, etc. When our heart isn’t healthy – when we haven’t learned how to be a thinking person nor put it into practice, let alone understand what true compassion is – we are merely surviving, and cannot thrive when, in fact, we are absolutely the captains of choosing to be able to do so. We have the power to learn the core skills of being a thinking person and in concert, being compassionate.

As mentioned above, being a thinking and compassionate person sits at the heart of living a life of contentment, and part of exhibiting both of these skills is understanding what we talked about in-depth in Part Quatre(4) – the nervous system. In order to be anchored in a life of contentment we must do the homework (a thinking person’s conscious choice) of understanding how our nervous system works (which is taught in Part 4) and then, exercise compassion by putting this knowledge into practice in our everyday lives.

How we put this knowledge to work is to regulate our nervous system. I used this term ‘regulate’ throughout both Part 4 and 5, and then again in 6, and you will hear and see it used by teachers and experts of the nervous system. All it means is that you have the awareness of yourself to note that you are not in the safe and connected Ventral Vagal system where we all thrive. Instead, you have slipped into either the Sympathetic or Dorsal Vagal system (fight, flee – any action to protect yourself (former); apathetic, shut-down (latter). What our job is then is to bring ourselves back to the Ventral vagal by applying the skills learned in Part 4 of how to do so. That is how we regulate our nervous system.

Anchoring ourselves in the safe and connected Ventral Vagal system, which is a part of the Parasympathetic nervous system (something we talked about in episode #381 – see below), is part of being a thinking and a compassion person. The Ventral Vagal system makes up 75% of this system as it relates to the Vagus nerve, a nerve that runs throughout the entirety of our body. When we understand the physiology of our own bodies and then take the time to heal ourselves by listening to what our nervous system does in various environments, we can then treat ourselves with compassion, giving ourselves what we need, but also correcting thoughts that are based on past experiences and not the present moment. The healing process can then begin, and our past no longer needs to repeat itself both in our choices and our assumptions about the unknown. My encouragement, just as Deb Dana shares in her book that provided much of the research support for Parts 4, 5 and 6, is that you befriend your nervous system. It is a friend worth having.

---

“Whoever uses the spirit that is within [them] creatively is an artist. To making living itself an art, that is the goal.” —Henry Miller

Courageously, we choose to live a simply luxurious life, for each life will not resemble another. Our life is our art, and because it is such, it cannot follow the rules or mimic that of another. However, those directives don’t guide us, but rather what we discover by being a thinking person, by being compassionate and by choosing the everyday ‘sides’ that bring us to life, that nourish us, that delight us.

By this ethos, we are each artists of our own life when we choose to live a simply luxurious life. And while, as Andy Puddicombe points out, the act of being artistic, being creative “is spontaneous in nature, it requires a certain passion for life. A willingness to express, to share, to update, to improve or resolve in some way. Our role, is to simply guide this passion.”

We guide our passions, often revealing themselves in the everyday ‘sides’ we choose, by first being a thinking and compassionate person, and becoming a habitué of the skills of contentment. Then life, our life journey, becomes art itself.

---

One of the most important skills that to someone unfamiliar with living a life of contentment appears indulgent or unnecessary at the very least, is Savoring(Part 6). However, to the contrary. Savoring is sine qua non of living a life of contentment. Therefore, without savoring, we cannot live a simply luxurious life.

Yet again to someone unfamiliar with contentment, to observe someone living a simply luxurious life appears to be a life lived luxuriantly, but we, TSLL readers, know this perceived luxury is a misunderstanding of what true luxury is. We are living a life of necessary nourishment (yet without excess) that rests on the discovery of having found and courageously choosing to sing our one song, our dharma, for the world to hear.

So we savor, and do so with delight. Not asking for more, but reveling in what is right now, either what we have nourished to fruition or that which is entirely out of our control but with our full attention in the present moment, we see it, we witness it and we, by savoring, extend gratitude to have noticed it.

This skill of Savoring immediately elevates the quality of our everydays, and as was shared in Part Six, improves our health for the long-term as well.

What True Luxury Is

Back in 2021, and then again in TSLL’s 2nd book – Living The Simply Luxurious Life, the concept of what luxury is was explored.

Luxury is a concept, not a concrete ‘thing’ that can be held in the hands or seen singularly as the same entity by all who pass by. Luxury is undefinable as a physical entity because it isn’t one thing, and it is not a state of being we can buy or someone else can buy or give to us. 

To bring ease and comfort, to be something seen as unnecessary and experienced less often. The definition of luxury wavers a bit, but generally stays in the same vantage point of something not expected to be attained all the time by everyone.

What true luxury must include is an awareness (a skill of contentment) by the person seeking out what they see as luxurious – the everyday ‘sides’ as well as what nourishes them – what soothes the nervous system. Both parts of the defintion “a state of great comfort and ease or something that is difficult to obtain”. Even if something is hard to obtain, if it doesn’t bring us comfort and ease, it cannot be truly luxurious. 

British interior designer, Kerri Lipsitz describes luxury as “something that makes life easier”. What makes life easier for one person may have no bearing on the ease it would provide in someone else’s life. Easier or simpler, reveals self-knowledge, clarity and by applying this knowledge we bring nourishment, rather than distraction or a dampening of our energies.

True luxury doesn’t land in our lap, pre-packaged, but rather through conscious living, self-awareness followed by an appreciation for quality, not quantity. Each of our chosen luxuries/’sides’ will be different than someone else’s if we are wholly aware of our full potential and true self, something we can only discover by being a thinking person. Often there is effort and time involved to reach the state of comfort, and this is all to the good, for then we are aware of the journey and do not take for granted where we have arrived. Thus why living simply luxuriously exemplifies true luxury because it isn’t easy to cultivate, it must be consciously chosen, and requires of each of us to think for ourselves while being compassionate for all (which includes our own needs and nourishment to thrive).

The thinking and compassionate person’s blog with everyday ‘sides’ of living well to savor is what guides the content shared here on The Simply Luxurious Life. With this series, it was my intention to teach how the pieces of all that is regularly shared here on TSLL come together into the same puzzle, to give you the tools, the inspiration, the ideas for cultivating your own unique simply luxurious life. Your life will become a work of art, a piece of art that rather than being static, will be forever evolving as you grow, discover and savor the surprises and treasures found along your journey.

During times of momentary shaking

There will be times, because you are living a piece of art (and by definition art is an original even if inspired by artists that have come before) that fear will try to seep in. This is natural, and as we have shared before, this is the Lizard mind trying to coax you back into following along with what has been done before or what is accepted or whatever it is you have known, but no longer nourishes you. Trust your wisdom of knowing that nourishment is key. Remind yourself of the nervous system’s functionality and choose to regulate it. Then apply the critical thinking skills, do the homework that is necessary for the dilemma that temporarily has given you pause. Be patient, and in time, you will return to resting in your Sage mind, a mind that trusts that you will land safely wherever the leap you have chosen will take you because you are choosing with a wise heart.

In conclusion

Buddhist psychology reminds us of our original nature, “Do not forget the luminous nature of your own mind. Trust it. It is home.” And because, being a thinking person, we have done the work of understanding how the mind works and how the nervous system communicates with it and visa versa, we can trust our inner compass, and not be held at the mercy of our fears (emotions), conditioning (nervous system responses to protect yourself) nor step back (the lizard mind) from taking risks that will elevate our life and lead us to discovering our dharma.

“You are worthy of happiness, but need to actively reach out for it.” —Louis Fourie and Kevin Horsely, authors of The Happy Mind

The components of achieving true inner freedom and thus optimal mental health so that we can reside in the ventral vagal system, a place where we can savor regularly and then stretch to grow, is entirely within each of us. First we must know what those components are. Jack Kornfield shares in The Wise Heart, that when joy, compassion, loving-kindness and equanimity or peace are in balance, we “rest in an unshakable peace”. In episode #411 (to be shared this coming Wednesday) we’ll talk more about Joy and how it is a result of being content, and similarly to contentment is found within us. As is the case with everything we have shared throughout this 7-part series, joy must be chosen. To choose joy is to choose to live fully, in the present moment, savoring what is, sharing what we can uniquely give, and choosing to be a student of life, while delighting in the life we are living right now.

I hope you have enjoyed and found helpful this series. I have placed the entire 7-part series on the Introductions/Start Here page found here on the blog should you ever want to revisit it. While it has been nearly 16 years since TSLL began, and while may seem to be a wee bit overdue in sharing, I understood intuitively how all of the pieces shared over the years came together, but it took me time to simplify while also including all that living simply luxuriously is about. With that time, I have been able to clarify and now share the relationship of how all of the pieces that are shared regularly here on the blog – the ‘thinking’ posts alongside the style and French and British and travel, all of the ‘sides’ posts that we each so love for our own reasons – fit together.

The ethos shared throughout this 7-part series, encompassed by the axiom, “the thinking and compassionate person’s blog with everyday ‘sides’ of living well to savor” and brand logo found at the top of the blog, “Cultivating True Contentment: The art of living a life of quality over quantity” guide the content shared up until this point and forever moving forward here on TSLL.

Now, to get about living our simply luxurious lives! Bonne journée !

Who TSLL is Written For: Explore each of the Parts of this Series below

~Learn more about TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass here.