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Heading to the airport or train station, the tickets are purchased. The destination is set.
Your intention is to travel at the time and to the place you have booked. However, any savvy or frequent traveler knows that not all factors our within our control. Knowing that, we put the odds in our favor – arriving well ahead of time, packing according to the guidelines, dressing comfortably, maybe even purchasing Pre-Check or Global Entry if at the airport to swiftly move us through security lines.
You keep your eyes peeled for your flight/train number as you step into the airport/station and pay no mind to any of the other many destinations listed on one the many electronic boards of information. Having located the Departures board for your flight/destination, you gather all necessary information (gate #, boarding time, etc.).
Upon arriving in most airports/stations, especially international hubs, we know that hundreds, even thousands of people are walking to and fro around us to their destination of necessity to either board a plane/train, grab a taxi or locate their vehicle, but we don’t let anything distract us because time is of the essence. We intend to board our plane/train successfully.
Nine times out of ten, we indeed are successful in checking in – ourselves and our luggage, finding our gate and boarding with ease. And it all began with having an intention. We cannot control whether our plane/train will be ready for us to board (the weather may delay its arrival from its previous destination), or whether our flight/train will be overbooked, but what is in our control, we tend to. Our intention – to be available and present to travel as planned and arrive in the destination on our itinerary.
Living our life guided by intentions rather than expectations has many similarities to flying, as well as to sowing seeds for our garden as is depicted by the nasturtium seedlings shown above now successfully have sprouted before being planted outside come June (after the last frost). When we hold expectations – I must arrive when my ticket says I will, with my luggage, and in the seat I have purchased, while a reasonable assumption, even if we have done everything ‘right’ on our part, doesn’t ensure that all will unfold as we would like. How we handle the unknown reveals whether we are living with intention or expectation.
The expectant flyer becomes agitated, maybe irate, and reacts with little concern to those who are affected by their negativity. The intentional flyer, or seasoned traveler, perhaps is a better descriptor, rolls with the unexpected moments, but also takes initiative, seeing opportunity where the expectant flyer would see a headache. Since they have packed well and dressed comfortably, they calmly wait until the delayed flight arrives. If their luggage is lost, since they have put a luggage locator (an AirTag for instance) in their luggage, they know exactly where it is even if the reunion with their luggage will be delayed.
Intention doesn’t cling, yet it doesn’t live passively. And in both of these, it liberates and gives us peace as we move through our days. The expectant person brings suffering into their life, and suffering is never inevitable. Pain, as we talked about in episode #403 of the podcast, is inevitable, but not suffering.
How do we become more comfortable, and at ease with living with intentions and letting go of expectations? Let me acknowledge here that I too have been that expectant traveler through life, and I can say that it was unenjoyable way to live. The more I realized I was the reason I caused stress that was unnecessary due to my reaction when things didn’t ‘go as planned or desired’, I began to try see if there was a better way. And yep, there is, and it is far simpler and way more enjoyable. ☺️
Choose to live by setting intentions and let go of all expectations – about anything. Scary? Initially, it may seem so, but as you begin to assess with honesty (and humility) how stressful it has been to cling and to try to control, you realize that peacefully savoring each and everyday is a holiday. A holiday you get to enjoy each day AND eventually bring to fruition that with which will bring you fulfillment.
What does it mean to live guided by intentions?
Intention is desire without attachment to the outcome. Deepak Chopra in his The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Pocketbook Guide to Fulfilling Your Dreams reveals something that perhaps you too have experienced personally: “Desire in most people is attention with attachment to the outcome.” With attachment comes suffering, and it is unnecessary.
“When you can release your intentions without attachment, and when the season is right, your desires will blossom into reality.” —Deepak Chopra
To this point of the season begin right and then your desire will blossom into reality, even if the flight doesn’t happen at all – cancelled, so long as your intention is to visit that particular destination, you will eventually arrive. My neighbor for example, she lived for a short while in Spain a few decades ago, and she has been wanting to return and visit her friends and the community where she lived. Back in 2019, she had planned to visit, but it was not to be. Now, six years later, she is heading to Spain, and couldn’t be more excited.
We don’t always know when the opportunity will cross our path for us to seize, and to be fair, we don’t even know how our intention will appear, but we will know. Just like a finding a book that speaks to us in a bookshop while we are browsing with curiosity but without expectation, so long as we are not rushed and keep an open mind, the chances are that we will find something. Other factors play a role as well – did we choose a bookshop that has a vast variety? Did we select a bookshop that sells the genres we are most interested in? We have to put the odds in our favor, but then we have to let go and see what will dance with our true self – what speaks to us and says, here I am! I am the book you are looking for.
One of the beautiful gifts we receive by relinquishing attachment is that we gain a quiet peace within ourselves. Following being still and getting to know ourselves truly so that that the intentions we set are truly our own, there is now an expressed trust with our letting go, and the universe sees that we are willing to be fully engaged with whatever may unfold. We share our intentions only with those who support us genuinely, and mostly just hold our intentions within our heart and mind. This holding is not a clinging, but a place of rest as we go about living our life, fully engaging with the present moment.
“If we practice present-moment awareness (aka intention), then the imaginary obstacles—which are more than 90 percent of the obstacles—disappear. The remaining obstacles can be transformed into opportunities through one-pointed intention.” —Deepak Chopra
The successful materialization of our intention begins with knowing our true self, embracing it and bravely engaging with the world with who we are most honestly. No masks, no chameleon charades, no sarcasm or cynicism. We bravely engage with the loving-kindness and integrity to both express and protect what we need to live fully. If we are aligned with our true self, the intentions we have will arrive in their own time. If not, then we will be presented with opportunities to learn and be encouraged to continue to be a student of ourself until we discover what we need and the courage required to be our true self.
Ways to Practice Trusting Intentions rather than Expectations in Our Everyday Life
What I would like to share with you today are simple everyday practices you can do that will strengthen your trust that being intentional will not only lead you to find what you are seeking, but without expectation, it will also be a far more celebratory and peaceful way to live.
- Stepping into a bookstore with the intention to find a book you will enjoy reading. Perhaps knowing the genre, but not the specific title or even the author.
- Shop for food to bring home to your refrigerator and épicerie (pantry) that nourishes your body and mind well. Provide options of variety, yet nothing that you will regret reaching for when your willpower is low. In time, you will have created healthy habits that provide deliciousness without the guilt and begin to feel well in your skin and mind making it all the more difficult to regress to unhealthy choices no matter how easy accessible they may be.
- Heading to the farmers’ market with the intention to find ingredients for a seasonally fresh meal. Asking questions of the farmers for guidance if certain produce is unfamiliar or how to best enjoy it.
- Giving sincere compliments of appreciation about something of kindness, beauty, talent or anything that speaks to your heart innately. Without expectation to receive any acknowledgement from the one you are speaking or extending the compliment to, but rather to simply send more love into the world.
- Extend gratitude for seemingly everyday kindnesses from others. By being fully present, you become aware that people have choices of how they engage with others, and whenever you feel comforted, something becomes easier due to another’s actions or efforts, or you feel peace in someone’s presence where they didn’t have to extend it, say thank you. The cycle of kindness begins with awareness and bravery to let others know their generosity mattered. We are more encouraged to continue an approach when it has an impact, no matter how seemingly small. Take note of what you are grateful for.
- Cultivate an everyday routine sprinkled with rituals that nourish and support the intentions you have set in your heart. Explore these posts on rituals and these posts on routines for ideas on how to design a day tailored to what you need and what will elevate the quality of your everydays.
- Be the driver on the road you want to be on the road with. Wave thank you, stop for pedestrians and smile. Don’t forget to zipper!
- Grow and care for plants to nurture something into its fullest self, not for perfection or praise from the outside world. Choose to see ‘oopses’ or ‘failures’ as lessons to learn from so you can grow as a gardener and care for the garden that can grow in the environment you have. When success is experienced – the seeds sown sprouted! the bees have blooms to find pollen, the tree survived the transplanting, the climbing rose is climbing, etc. – no matter how large or small, share time just being surrounded by the natural beauty and savoring the comfort and calm it brings.
- Choose to watch/listen to programs, of any genre, that will encourage the energy, ideas, growth or appreciation you want to see in the world and within yourself. While most likely, we all need a light-hearted laugh-out loud or carefree show to watch/listen to, when we become more intentional about how we feed our mind, our mind begins to connect seemingly disparate ideas and paints a world in our mind of what is possible (or impossible, based on the content displayed).
- Decorate inviting snugs or spaces in the home that encourage you to slow down and be still. Similarly, furnish thoughtfully a room you spend time in for work or a daily task that may not be something you enjoy intensely in an inviting manner so that the ‘doing’ becomes more encouraging to engage your full attention and work with ease. For example, a kitchen stocked with the necessary high quality tools to make the meals you most want to cook or bake; an office with beautiful artwork, a vintage desk lamp found in France and/or organized shelves making ease of accessing what you need swift and accurate.
- Say good morning/good evening when passing fellow walkers or runners on the trail/path or sidewalk even, and especially if you don’t know the person/people, without any expectation of how (or if) they will respond. While knowing your neighborhood or park/trail will indicate the norm, why not be the friendly person who is a joy to cross paths with? Having no expectation of how they respond, you know the energy you gave was of kindness and that is all you can control.
Each of the examples above involves letting go. Letting go of holding the engagement of others, the outcome of the event and offerings, to any expectation. By setting intentions, and making decisions that put the odds in our favor that more than likely a desired outcome is possible, we let those things that are not in our control be what they will be. We don’t add to any frustration or unexpected moments with our pushback, but rather become a witness and engage constructively if necessary.
In other words, if we don’t find a book at the bookstore that begs us to read it, we find peace with that which makes us all the more appreciative the next time we do. At the very least, our gratitude muscle is strengthened for when the moments we hope for do become part of our experience. On the flipside . . .
When anything happens throughout your day that is as you had hoped or even surpasses your envisioned intention – the meal you made was more delicious than you thought it would be – wahoo! – celebrate. Acknowledge it, and be reminded that it all began with an intention, followed by a letting go having put into place the ingredients – presence, asking questions, giving it your best shot, showing up on time, etc.. While nothing is guaranteed, we open our lives up to so many more opportunities of “things falling into place” than had we forced, been angry, pouted or complained. After all, we are the conductor of our lives, and I am fairly confident we would all want to be traveling with someone at the helm of the orchestra, train or any other mode of transportation that made the journey as memorable as the place of arrival.
So for today, as you begin the new week, let yourself be a bit more vulnerable than you may have been in the past. So long as you have your intentions guided by the knowledge of your true self, life is going to begin showing you seemingly magical moments that with each occurrence will build your trust that you are on the path that is uniquely suited for you to fulfill your capabilities and share them with the world. And once you begin to trust living by intentions alone in your daily life (letting go of expectations), it will become all the easier to do so with grander intentions that will eventually enable your dreams coming true when the season is right to blossom into your garden along your life journey.
Photo: Gare Montparnasse in Paris captured this past March as I prepared to depart to Bretagne
SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY
episode #381: The Power of the Clarity of Our Intention AND Where We Direct Our Attention — Understanding Our Mind
episode #384: 6 Things We Gain By Honoring Our True Self
~Learn more about TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass here (view the detailed syllabus, watch the trailer and discover who this course is designed for)
