“In any and every moment of your life, you are either in command of yourself or you are being commanded.”

As social beings, it’s natural to feel, and often want, to flock toward other people, desiring to be accepted by them. However, every individual has different desires in life, different goals and aspirations, different hopes and different circumstances which make them feel comfortable. With that being said, if any of these aforementioned descriptors differs from those who you are trying to gain favor from, it is very difficult to achieve what you want out of life.

The simple approach is to follow the herd, to flock together and not deviate from what is expected or stand out.  In fact, in many instances if one chooses to be true to themselves and it goes against the grain of what is typically understood, hackles go up and feathers become ruffled, potentially ostracizing the black sheep from the group.

Now to simply ruffles feathers to cause a flurry and nothing else is unnecessary, but if going along is pulling you away from your dreams, your ideal life and reaching your full potential, ruffle away.

It will take great strength to choose to get out of your own way, choose to stop following and instead blaze your own trail. In fact, the longer you wait to stand up and stand out, the more strength it will require. Which means the easiest thing you can do is be your own advocate from the beginning, become comfortable with being a sincere, genuine person even if it sometimes calls for you to tactfully say what others don’t want to hear or calling them out on rude behavior, and gracefully letting those around you see who you really are.  Those who balk from your behavior are not people you would want in your life to begin with, and those who gradually realize you are only being true to your own calling and are not out to shine at the expense of others will appreciate your candor.

“You are too smart to be the only thing standing in your own way.”  –Jennifer J. Freeman

If you are someone who has already found the strength to be authentic despite what others are doing around you, pat yourself on the back.  This is not an easy feat, but if you are someone who is considering changing your ways to better suit who the real “you” is, here are a few simple ways to alter your behavior so that you are not following in line and thus sabotaging the potential greatness and success that awaits if only you had the strength to follow your goals.

1. Consistently be your BEST self and stop trying to impress people.

2. Be genuine in your likes, dislikes, feelings, compliments, etc.

3. Stop looking for approval and instead approve of yourself

4. Stop gossiping. Just stop. It’s a waste of time and it degrades your character in other people’s eyes.

5. Don’t share everything, even if someone asks.

6. Stop defending your actions. Everyone has a different opinion on what is proper, you are entitled to your opinion. If you made a mistake, learn from it, move on and don’t make the same mistake twice.

7. Take responsibility for your decisions and stop blaming others. Period.

8. Eliminate bullying self-thoughts. Your thoughts, if repeated enough, will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

9. “You cannot find light by analyzing the darkness.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer – listen to this.

10. “. . . treating yourself as you already are what you’d like to become.” – Dr. Wayne Dryer.