“The most useful work we create causes a change to happen. And the more profound the change, the less predictable it is. If you need perfect visibility into the future, you’re limiting the impact and power of your work.” —Seth Godin
If you have perfect eyesight, the analogy I am about to share with you may not help clarify the topic of today’s post, but hear me out. For someone who is near-sighted (objects at a far-distance appear blurry), then before you put in your contacts or put on your glasses, the world may look like a blob of fuzzy things in a variety of colors, none of them sharp, or distinct. However, because you have the ability to correct your vision, if you are in a familiar room or place, you likely know where to walk, (likely quite slowly and carefully) to find your glasses or contacts.
In other words, when we understand that fuzziness will occur, and we cause it to happen in a location where we are knowledgeable of our surroundings, it doesn’t set us on edge to not be able to see temporarily. Choosing to do something new in our life holds many similarities to this feeling for the near-eyed individual.
When we decide to do something that we’ve never done before, the fuzziness is present as we wait to see how it will turn out. We choose to accept this fuzziness because the decision, after no doubt much contemplation, aligns with what we need for nourishment, fulfillment, expansion, growth, anything that brings us more to life and energizes us rather than drains us.
To the onlooker, our choice of change, while making beautiful sense to us, (even though within our exuberance, there may be a smidge of anxiety), may appear to be a risky decision. But to us, it just makes the most sense. In fact, to NOT make the change, would actually be the risk.
Here are some thoughts on the concept of risk and the label of calling something a risk that is actually a great perspective shift for the decision maker of the so-called ‘risk’.
“When my expectations for success in some pursuit exceeds yours, you see me as a risk-taker. However, if you believed what I did, then you’d probably behave as I did. In other words, risk-taking is really an observer’s phenomenon. ‘Risk-takers’ do things that make sense to them, even if the same actions seem inexplicable from someone else’s perspective.” —Ellen J. Langer, author of The Mindful Body
Langer goes on to point out something the ‘risk-taker’ must have awareness about – what the options are prior to choosing what appears to be risky to others and what just makes the best sense for us, and the potential costs of each option – cost being measured in a variety of modes – financial well-being, physical, mental and social well-being, etc.
What would be a true risk is not taking the opportunity to see how what we are curious about will turn out. As Seth Godin shares in his blog post “Comfortable with the Fuzziness“, if you don’t plant the apple seed, you will never have a chance of growing an apple tree, let alone harvesting any of its fruit. At the very least, you have to do something that after doing your homework gives you the chance of successfully bringing to life what you had hoped would come to pass.
By acknowledging that there will be fuzziness, and not knowing when it will clear, we let go and can fully engage with the here and now.
Let me take you to my garden for another example, similar to that of planting an apple seed. Back in autumn of last year, I planted quite a few tulip bulbs. To my delight all of them eventually emerged, some better than others, and all in their own time. Some barely made it out of the ground and never bloomed, but they made it! Others eventually bloomed, but were drained of their color or were an unexpected color, and others put on a show of dazzlement (the Long Lasting Love lily tulips seen above are a perfect example of the latter). I had imagined they might look like this, I had hoped, and then I took action to give it a chance to occur. A broad spectrum of outcomes emerged, but none would have provided the opportunity to both learn from and hopefully celebrate had they not been planted in autumn.
During the winter and early spring, I forgot about them and went about my life. If they made it, wonderful! If they didn’t, I would be super bummed, but at least I had tried and given them a chance.
Transpose this example onto something much more serious – a legal situation, a health situation, a lifelong career dream decision, a lifelong love situation, a life dream. There will definitely be fuzziness of whether or not it will work out even after we have done our homework, checked all the boxes, hired the best help or expertise, and then took action. What will bring us peace is knowing we gave our full investment upon realizing what was needed.
What will also bring us peace is knowing we made the decision that we knew that in order to live a life that upon reflection we know with certainty, we didn’t hold back. We gave it our all. And this all that we choose to give is not to gain anyone’s approval, but rather to find the peace within ourselves that acknowledged what was within and took action regarding choices that wouldn’t leave our heart, that kept whispering to us to try.
Risk isn’t truly risky when we pair the knowledge of ourself with the knowledge available for the options we are considering and the potential gain or loss of each. Couple this with acceptance that there will be fuzziness for an unknown duration, but not forever, and we have the recipe for an amazing impact and life-lifting change.
Keep in mind that everything is happening in our lives to help us, no matter how frustrating, irritating or heartbreaking it may be in the moment. By taking action, applying the fuel from unwanted moments, instead of passively letting any unwanted situation linger and hoping it will work out eventually, we get in the game of life. We choose to live! Yes, there will be fuzziness, but that is where growth is emerging. That is how a strong foundation is built – it takes time for the cement to set, but we first have to pour it into the designated place to provide the security for the structure that is our one and only life that we want to build, not have someone build it for us to their design. Rather, to ours. Because we are the only architect that can know what will provide the best figurative sanctuary for our journey through life.
Thank you for stopping by today, and wishing you a wonderful new week.
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Before my cataract surgery this past fall, I could absolutely relate to everything being a fuzzy blob prior to putting on the glasses or contacts, and you would have to traverse on faith and remembered pathways to get yourself from fuzzy point A to fuzzy point B.
As you elucidate so very well, risk is in the eye of the beholder and it is really just a matter of perspective. And isn’t everything?
By that same token, I think all of life, really is “fuzzy”. I believe one runs into to dissonance and problems when one only sees the rigidity of ‘what must be’, in their perspective. It brings to mind Mary Tyler Moore’s character in the film, “Ordinary People” with her brittle, hard and unflinching parameters. In case anyone has not seen it, I won’t give anything away, but she did a brilliant job.
As you rightly point out Shannon, the fuzziness must be there, like a furry little cocoon, because that is where our beautiful life emerges. Always lovely to “listen” to your thoughts. Many thanks. Much love to you & Nelle. xx~R