Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? Part Trois
Wednesday October 13, 2010

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Today, the Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? series moves into Part Three (if you’d like to check out Part One or Two, click on the respective links) and with it, some final finishing points regarding behavior, beauty, dating and success. Have a look and don’t be shy about leaving a comment.  I have thoroughly been enjoying and appreciative of all of the comments thus far, and look forward to hearing your opinion and thoughts on today’s ideas of what it means to be a modern lady. Let’s get started.

Be Well-Groomed

Nothing reveals self-respect more than how you present yourself, so consider your grooming regimen – haircuts, highlights, color, manicures, pedicures, skincare and such, should be mandatory items on your to-do list.  Not only will you feel better, but knowing you look your best will demonstrate to others your high standards without saying a word.

Eliminate Gossip
There are few things that are more contradictory than seeing a beautiful, respectable woman who speaks poorly of others. Remember the old adage, “Small minds talk about people, average minds talk about events, and great minds talk about ideas.”  Raise your standards and set an example, you might be surprised as to how those around you will respond.
Don’t Be A Tease
When it comes to dating, a modern lady is confident with who she is and doesn’t need to be someone she is not to impress the opposite sex; therefore, eliminate the games.  A modern lady doesn’t lead any man on to believe she is interested if she isn’t. While this will require extreme tact and courtesy so that feelings aren’t hurt, it is better to be honest, yet respectful, up front so no one becomes embarrassed and hurt.
Becoming Behavior

There are many things that have changed when it comes to being a lady with the culture and world that we live in today, but some things tend to remain the same, or at least similar.  A modern lady watches her alcohol and doesn’t drink too much, nor does she exhibit uncouth behavior.  It all comes back to Part One – keep an air of mystery. Sometimes it really is better to observe and take things in. Besides, just because you think something, doesn’t mean you have to share it with the world.  Often, upon reflection, our initial reactions are merely that – reactions – something that occurs without thought, so be sure to always check yourself and make certain you would be comfortable with a particular decision in hindsight.

Stop Apologizing

A person who feels they are in an inferior position is often the one who feels they have to apologize.  Now I’m not saying that apologizing when you’ve done something you know you shouldn’t have done isn’t proper – absolutely not. What I’m merely getting at is apologizing for doing something with good intentions.  Yes, you will make a mistake, you might and most likely will, step on someone’s toes if you’re continually trying to grow and improve, but why should you apologize for someone else’s insecurity? As one reader commented, a modern lady doesn’t apologize for her success, and I couldn’t agree more. Refuse to allow yourself to be belittled because the only reason “bullies” try to make you feel as though they are superior is because they want the control that they think you have.  Keep striving, keep being you because you are amazing.

Be Someone You’d Admire

Who do you look up to in this world? Who do you admire, respect and wish you could be like? So many of us can quickly rattle off at least one or two people who lead lives we dream of, lives that we feel would be very fulfilling, gratifying and enjoying, so the modern lady difference is why not be someone you’d look up to and admire?  A modern lady decides to put her life in her own hands and mold it into the fine masterpiece that will be her life’s art. Have you started yet? Do you have a vision of what your life will look like? No matter where you are in this process, you too can be an amazing modern lady, and most likely, already are, but it all begins with becoming someone you’d admire.

The Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? series is concluding today, but not without great support, lively feedback full of agreement and disagreement.  I genuinely appreciate all of the feedback as it helps to consider all viewpoints and perspectives.  Feel free today to go back over the three part series and add to the list, agree, disagree, modify – whatever you feel like. There are many more items I’ve been thinking about adding, but might just have to save them for some time in the future.

I hope you’ve enjoyed it because I sincerely have.  This idea that a woman can lead an extraordinary unique life in the world we live in today is something I believe in wholeheartedly.  And I couldn’t agree more with Oscar de la Renta.  Never before as there been a time when a woman had such control over her destiny. And believe me I’m grabbing the reins, are you?

21 thoughts on “Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? Part Trois

  1. The “Eliminate gossip” part – 100%! I’ve been thinking about it so many times when I listen to girls go on and on about other girls. Nothing screams insecurity and lack of manners as much as talking about people behind their backs.

  2. Have really enjoyed this series. Eliminating gossip is something that I strive to do everyday. In my job, it can be difficult but I try to rise above it.

  3. Great Advice! My Aunt always says she never goes anywhere without her “french manicure.” I TRY to get a mani every week-or at least throw on a coat of “ballet sippers” and top coat…
    Hope you are having a great week!

  4. Shannon, this is an excellent post. I never get tired of soaking up your words of wisdom. In regards to keeping and air of myster, you couldn’t be more spot on. In this day and age of instant knowledge, instant gratification, and reality tv it’s hard to resist the pull of following the collective. But not every move you make should be broadcast via facebook/twitter and the like.

    It’s really a great idea to be someone you can admire. Constantly comparing oneself to another can be helpful only to a point. It’s up to us to be the very best version of ourselves. There is something out there for all of us to achieve and following a blueprint is no guarantee that we’ll get there. Forging your own path however is a guarantee that we will cultivate the necessary skills it takes to survive in these dicey and unsure times. At the very least we’ll be able to say we did something new and unexpected. New experiences are worth it.

  5. It’s great to have you back Shannon. This has been a fantastic series. And I couldn’t agree more about the need for women to stop apologizing (except when really necessary). In my last job I worked with mostly men and one day realized how my constant apologizing kept me from being seen as an equal. Such great tips dear. Have a beautiful day!
    XO Piper

  6. i admit i can drink a lil too much at times – i don’t get my nails done (i do myself) – i don’t get my hair touched up often enough – i can definatly be a tease – i don’t apologize – i don’t gossip – and i don’t try to be someone else, i’m ME and happy to be JUST that

    and saying ALL that – i feel VERY much like a MODERN LADY!

  7. Your words are so empowering.
    I really appreciate that.
    Stop apologizing, (stop doing things you are sorry for, and then, don’t be sorry for what you do.)
    be someone you’d admire(seemingly arrogant, but I believe there is nothing more important than loving oneself.)
    really pop out at me.
    Great to have you back.

  8. A great reminder of some solid goals.

    I have to admit this year has been a trying one for me. After having two children close together, breastfeeding till 18 months and then going back to work full time, I hardly recognize myself anymore. Bit by bit, I’m getting it together, but it’s taking me far longer than I imagined it would have.


  9. I’ve been craving inspiration for three months since I got sick. Thank you, your blog and tips enables me to see my future again: bright and full of possibilities

  10. I only discovered your blog a few days ago and have enormously enjoyed reading through your old posts. Your three articles on being a Modern Lady made a great impression on me. Thank you for writing so articulately on simple but important concerns for modern women!

  11. Hi Shannon,

    Lovely series of post and I look forward to implementing them. I would like to strive for more independence in my life. As well as work on my grooming skills. Need to develop a bit of self-confidence and practice more discretion in speech. In fact my goal this week is to listen and think more. But my question for you, is are you all these things? What mistakes have you made?

    1. Esther, the best teacher to learn any lesson is either experience or observation. And while I ardently work at all of these, I by no means am perfect. However, it is through personal experience and observations of others’ successes and mistakes that I’ve found all of these to be worthwhile pursuits. Thanks for asking.

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